


Compass

by Moonbeam (KhonshusKnight)



Series: Twin Packs [2]
Category: ONEUS (Band), ONEWE (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, M/M, Miscommunication, Mpreg, Smut, explicit sex in ch 3, some fertility issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:14:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 58,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25698649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KhonshusKnight/pseuds/Moonbeam
Summary: Dongju has always wanted the perfect little family, but it seems more difficult than he thought it would be
Relationships: Kim Geonhak | Leedo/Son Dongju | Xion, Kim Youngjo | Ravn/Yeo Hwanwoong, Lee Giwook | Cya/Son Dongmyeong
Series: Twin Packs [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1863688
Comments: 142
Kudos: 212





	1. My Uneasy Heart Ties Me Up - Dongju

**Author's Note:**

> So I guess I'm back at it again, hopefully you guys like seeing Dongju and Geonhak's story, this one follows on from Pass Me By - but you don't have to have read it although it probably would increase your understanding :) 
> 
> Tags will be updated as the fic goes on, the rating is high because I anticipate some chapters warranting that rating - if it does not seem to be going that way I may reduce it.

Dongju was sat on the edge of the bath, the timer on his phone ticking, Geonhak was sat next to him, they never talked while they waited. Geonhak's hand in his felt heavy, the weight of what they were doing felt like it was crushing Dongju. He was an omega, he was supposed to bear children and it was all he wanted to do. He wanted to have babies with Geonhak and he thought by now they'd have at least one baby, but here they were watching another timer. Dongju hated this, he hated the stupid sticks, he hated seeing that empty box. He looked up when the timer went and checked the stick. As with every other test it was a clear negative. He felt his emotions burn up and he threw the test, it hit the wall and broke, not that it mattered. "Dongju." Geonhak said softly, and Dongju shrugged out of the hug Geonhak was trying pull him into. "Dongju please." 

"I don't want to have another we can try again talk." Dongju took a slow breath. "I don't want to talk about any of it. I'm not pregnant." He left the bathroom slamming the door. Dongju got dressed quickly, he could hear Geonhak trying to pick up all the broken parts of the test, and he felt bad but Dongju just wanted to get ready before the alpha came into their room. Dongju, however, was sat doing his makeup when Geonhak came out. Dongju worked for a production company as a makeup artist, and he was more than able to hide his emotions. 

"Do you want a ride to work?" 

"Seoho can take me it's on the way to his office." Dongju did not like driving so was normally drive but today he did not want to be trapped inside a car with Geonhak. He knew the other just wanted to comfort him, but he didn't want to hear it today. "And don't tell Giwook - because he tells my brother and I don't want another _maybe next time. sad face emoji_ message from Dongmyeong, like he isn't also sending my pictures of my super cute niece all the time. I get it she's almost 2 months old, but-" 

"Okay. I won't tell Giwook." Geonhak said and Dongju looked over watching the other man grabbing his jacket. "You should tell Seoho that he's taking you to work before he leaves." Geonhak said before just walking out and Dongju knew he was just going to work, he let Dongju push him away and just waited patiently for the omega to change his mind.

When Dongju walked out, he could tell the others already knew that him and Geonhak were barely talking again. "Am I taking you to work again?" Seoho asked, although he didn't look up, he was probably sending stupid memes to Dongmyeong again. 

"Yeah... Geonhak had a recording." 

"I thought you were the first recording Youn-" 

"No, he said there was someone before me, some girl I think. Cute song." Youngjo said and Dongju knew he was just trying to protect him, despite everyone knowing deep down that Geonhak hadn't left early because of a recording. Dongju just sat down and began eating, he guessed it was weird for the pack, he knew that none of them knew what to say to him. He had shouted at all of them on different occasions. 

In the car Dongju checked his messages, none from Giwook, two from Dongmyeong, one of them was of Seri in an outfit Dongju had bought for her, and the other was asking him if him and Geonhak wanted to go out to dinner that night. He was sure Giwook would ask Geonhak and then Geonhak would have to ask him. "Are you okay?" Seoho asked as they drove. 

"I don't need anyone else telling me that a baby will happen." Dongju bitched and Seoho just nodded. 

"Okay. But, Dongju - are you okay?" 

"How am I supposed to be okay? I am not pregnant _again_. All I want is to have a fucking baby with my mate. So no Seoho, I"m not okay. I feel like a failure. You know Dongmyeong was the smart twin, the funny twin, the artistic twin, he was the twin people looked at and thought would challenge all the alphas and be the boss, and I was me. So then I thought, maybe I'll be the home-maker. The twin who has the babies and does the whole alpha bond thing - and my brother goes and gets himself knocked up by a random guy in a club while I'm doing fertility treatments." Dongju sighed, "So you tell me how I'm supposed to be okay." 

"No, I get it. I just, you don't have to hold it in." Seoho said softly. "I know how much it sucks to hide all your feelings." 

"I just really want a baby, Seoho. I can't wait to have a baby with Geonhak." 

"I know. But why the fighting with each other?" 

"We're not fighting... It's more like, one of us being frustrated and we sometimes take it out on each other."

\- ☆ - 

On his break Dongju stood outside the building leaning against the wall. He texted Geonhak to say he was on his break, because he knew they had to talk - because of his brother. Geonhak called soon after. "How's your day going?" Geonhak sounded tentative and Dongju felt bad, he knew that he was pushing Geonhak too hard, that he could end up losing his alpha if he continued, but he just couldn't stop. 

"It's okay, just finished with the looks and it's my break." Dongju said, "How is your day? Recording with Youngjo went well?" 

"Yeah, we laid the track down pretty well." Geonhak said with a little smile, Dongju wished he could just apologise but he found those words hard to say. "Did your brother contact you?" 

"About dinner?" 

"Yeah. Do you want to go?" 

"Do you think he's pregnant again?" Dongju said quietly. 

"It's only been two months since Seri was born and you could feel something was different last time, so... I don't think so." Geonhak said quietly. "Giwook seems nervous to talk to us rather than like excited for a baby." 

"They were nervous the first time." Dongju sighed, "let's go. We should hear what they want to tell us." 

"You sure?" 

"If I say no, what are you going to tell Giwook, sorry Dongju is being sensitive because we got yet another negative pregnancy test-" 

"Dongju." 

"Yeah, I have to go do touch-ups. I love you." Dongju said before hanging up, not waiting to see what Geonhak said back to him. He turned the phone off and went back into work. He loved doing makeup and completely changing someone into their character. He was working on his favourite actress in this show Yongsun, she was an omega and Dongju loved working on her, and sometimes he even did her makeup for other shoots - and also for her own day-to-day wear. 

"You look more upset than this morning." Yongsun said softly. She'd been his actress for this show for years, since he first started, before he met Geonhak and found his mate. "Is it your sexy alpha? I can always take him off your hands." 

Dongju shook his head, "It's not him. My twin wants to go out to dinner tonight with our mates. Which is fine. We're twins. We should hang out." 

"Your niece is very cute too." 

"Yeah my brother did have a beautiful girl." Dongju sighed, "it's just difficult, you know Geonhak and I have been trying for a few years now." 

"Yeah I get it, it's hard when you're doing everything you can." Yongsun gave him a little smile, "if you aren't feeling okay, you should skip the meal with your twin." 

"I told Geonhak that I'd go." Dongju said quietly. 

"Are you two okay?" Yongsun sounded concerned now, and Dongju nodded, it was his fault that it was like this, he was pushing Geonhak hard and he just couldn't stop himself. He didn't deserve someone like Geonhak loving him. 

"You've got be on set in ten." Dongju said finishing the makeup he was working on. "Geonhak and I are fine, I'm just being a bitch to him because I'm just frustrated about the whole baby thing." 

"You two will be okay, I know it. That and I know that you two will have a gorgeous baby one day, and then who am I going to gossip with?" 

"I'll still be working when I have babies." Dongju said quietly, although he knew that if he got pregnant Geonhak would ask him if he wanted to quit working and be a stay at home dad. "I mean, who else is going to have you looking this good for filming." He laughed although really he did not believe that he would have a baby for a long time. He just knew he had to try to be less affected by these things.

\- ☆ - 

They got to the restaurant early and Dongju tried his best not to be difficult, he wanted to make sure that Geonhak knew it wasn't his fault but he just couldn't stop himself. He ordered wine when they sat down and said nothing to his brother, Geonhak handled all the greetings, Giwook and Dongmyeong looked beyond happy together. They were true mates and that was rare - but very beautiful. Dongmyeong ordered wine and Dongju felt bad that he was relieved his twin wasn't pregnant again. "Who has Seri?" Geonhak asked and brought Dongju back out of the spiral of his brain. 

"Yonghoon." Giwook said with a small smile, "He is really good with her, and she likes being around his energy." 

"I saw that photo on his instagram of her sleeping on him." Geonhak smiled warmly. "He is a good choice of babysitter." 

"Yeah, about that." Dongmyeong took a small sip of his wine. "My first heat post Seri is coming up, and we decided that we are going to seal a bite during it." Dongmyeong smiled at Giwook, and Dongju could feel the love between them. "We decided that it is the best thing for us, we've already confirmed our mate status but I think the bite would be good for us." 

"The bite is really good for affirming your connection." Geonhak spoke again and Dongju could feel his twin watching him, waiting for him to say something. 

"What is it Dongju?" 

"Nothing." He met his twins eyes and they stared at each other for a second before Giwook continued. 

"So we were wondering, if you two would be able to look after Seri during the heat. We don't know how able to care for her needs we will be and the other three in the pack are going away and we don't want her to suffer." 

"Of course we'll take her." Dongju answered, "she's our niece and if she needs looking after of course we'll take her." Dongju felt Geonhak squeeze his knee lightly, trying to comfort him. "I mean I assume you'll be protected, or are we going to be trying to get pregnant already." 

"Of course we're not trying to get pregnant again." Dongmyeong eyed Dongju. "We have a two month old and we're trying to work out her routines and you know I'm not trying to-" 

"We haven't discussed how big we would like our family." Giwook interjected. "But I am going to look after your brother, Dongju, I am going to look after him and we won't make a mistake." Geonhak was looking at him and Dongju just nodded, moving to drain his glass of wine.

\- ☆ - 

When they got back Dongju knew that Geonhak was frustrated by him. "Want to explain why you were like that at dinner? If you didn't want to go out with your brother and Giwook, you could have just said." Geonhak was annoyed, and Dongju knew he was pushing his alpha. He'd been pushing him for months. They were stood in their room but it felt like they were outside, they were that far apart, Dongju knew he was getting angry. "Are you not happy that they're planning the bite?" 

"No I'm happy for them. I've wanted this for Dongmyeong since he presented, you know he needs this." 

"Then what is it?" 

"You really don't know?" 

"Dongju, you've barely spoken to me all day." 

"You really can't think of a reason why I didn't want to sit and listen to my brother talk about his out of bond baby being _so_ cute, and _so_ wonderful. You think I wanted to sit there and look at his perfect mate and his perfect life! You really can't think of why that would hurt me? I know you do the least work, I mean some of the time I do all the work when we have sex, but I am the one doing these stupid injections to increase our chances, and I still can't conceive, because I'm so fucking broken." He knew his voice was raised and he didn't need to feel Geonhak's pheromones to know that Dongju was radiating distress. He wondered if Youngjo was at the door trying to decide if he needed to break it up. He imagined from the way Geonhak was looking at him that even Seoho would understand these signals. "So no, Geonhak, I didn't enjoy watching my brother be fucking perfect all night." 

"He's not perfect. He's been struggling." Geonhak sighed, "He's just pretending to save hurting you." 

"Great. I'm so pitiful my own twin is lying to make his own life _more_ perfect." Dongju was hurting more than angry and he couldn't stop himself. "You didn't answer that bit about me being broken, so I'm glad we're on the same page about something." 

"Dongju. I never said you were broken." Geonhak took a step closer and Dongju glared. 

"Don't you fucking touch me Kim Geonhak." Dongju could now feel Youngjo's presence outside the door. He wondered if he was trying to influence either of them. 

"Sorry Dongju, I did forget us having children was all about you." Geonhak glared. "I barely put anything into this relationship. You do everything. You shut me out Dongju, you go sleep with fucking Keonhee all the time. I don't care if beta's can provide a different comfort. I'm your fucking mate. I should be the one good enough for you. But if I'm so awful go marry Keonhee then." 

"Maybe I will. He'd at least understand why I didn't want to see my fucking twin the same day I'd gotten a negative test." 

"I asked if you were sure you were feeling up to it!" Geonhak was staring at him. "I can't make you talk to me. I can't even make you happy it seems." 

"I can't do this Geonhak." Dongju's anger waned as his hurt just came to the front, "I can't." He burst into tears, sobs tearing through his body and making him weak. His knees went from under him and he was surprised that Geonhak caught him and lowered them both to the ground, Geonhak was holding him securely as he sobbed, he couldn't speak through his tears. He just felt it all overwhelm him, he just wanted this so badly and here he was doing everything right and nothing was happening. He shifted so he was crying into Geonhak's chest, he could tell his alpha was crying as well as they both sat on the floor holding each other.

Dongju managed to calm down enough to speak, "I'm sorry." He said quietly. Sorry for all of it, not getting pregnant, not being a better omega, not talking to him, seeking comfort from Keonhee, not letting him in. He was sorry for everything. "Please don't sever our bond." Dongju mumbled hiding still on the alpha, not wanting to look at him. 

Geonhak shifted him so they were looking at each other. "I'm not severing the bond, I would never do that." Geonhak moved to wipe Dongju's tears with his thumb. Dongju hated seeing his mate cry, but he knew their hearts were the same. "But you need to let me in, I know it's hard. It hurts me too, so much. It hurts me to see Seri too, I love our niece but it still makes me ache for what we could have. But you need to tell me okay?" 

"But every time, it's the same, it hurts so much and then I feel like I've failed, and I know I've let you down." 

"You don't let me down by not being pregnant Dongju. We're doing what we can to make it happen but we're a team." Geonhak said softly. "Is there anything we can do to make this easier for you?"


	2. Come Fly With Me - Geonhak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this entire fic is not going to be kinda sad - I promise you all that, we're just setting the scene so please bear with the sadness I promise happier times are on the horizon. 
> 
> All comments, kudos and reads are greatly appreciated, thank you for reading my writing. 
> 
> Sorry this update took longer than usual, I haven't been feeling well.

"Was Dongju okay?" Giwook asked as they sat on their break. Geonhak watched his noodles cook like they were the most interesting thing. "Dongmyeong is worried but also afraid of asking." 

"We got a negative pregnancy test yesterday . It's my fault. I should have thought about it. We had a fight after but sorted it out. He's okay, happy you two are doing the bite." 

"Dongmyeong asked me just after Seri was born so I didn't think he really meant it. But he wants the bite during his first heat. Are you sure you two are okay to have her?" 

"My niece is not witnessing her daddies sharing the bite. Plus the rest of your pack is planning a trip right? They must be thinking you two are planning something crazy." 

"Clearly. Harin bought me a big box of condoms and online it says the first heat after birth is big..." Giwook flushed. "I just want to make him mine forever."

"Mating Dongju was the best day of my life. I finally felt complete and he was just so happy. That feeling flooded the connection. I've not felt that in our bond for a while now. His smile is beautiful but it's a rarity these days. We used to have fun and laugh but it feels like all we do is have sex and coexist." 

"I mean plenty of people have a lot of sex. We haven't since the birth but if Dongmyeong had his way it would be different. It's not weird that Dongju has a high drive." 

"Dongju and I... sometimes it feels like we're doing it just to try to conceive." Geonhak sighed, he couldn't tell his pack this and Giwook knew the twins well. Sometimes he felt like they were some sort of support group for the people who were mated to the twins. 

"Maybe you two should do some none sex or baby related activities. Focus on getting back to where you are. You guys have a great match and you love each other a lot." 

"Sometimes I forget who we used to be. Our first date ever, I took Dongju to an aquarium, you know sometimes he's like a kid when he is just so excited, when he's so happy and interested that he can't talk, instead he's just looking around in wonder."

"He does that in the Disney store too." Giwook was playful. 

"I always told myself, I'd make him as happy as he was that day, but it seems I can't make him happy anymore." Geonhak sighed, "I want a child too. I have to hold my feelings in, you know, because his sadness is so intense." 

"Dongju just really wants a family. He can get frustrated when things don't work for them."

\- ☆ - 

Dongju insisted they lay on their sides so they could talk to each other, hand tracing over Geonhak's chest. "Dongju" Geonhak was nervous of the other getting upset at him. "I was thinking about us after last night."

"Yes?" Dongju's voice shook. 

"I love you Dongju and I want you happy. I want you and me to have the best bond we can. I think we should start making more us time that isn't just sex. Although I'm sure it will more often than not end like this." Dongju looked deep in thought and Geonhak sighed, "I miss just being us. Before we became that couple who are trying for a baby." 

"Geonhak." Dongju was nervous. "Are you saying we should stop?" 

"No. Dongju, I still want a baby with you, and I really want it to happen for us, but you've been putting so much pressure on yourself, and sometimes I wonder who we are. When did we lose who we used to be?" 

"I know we've been... focused." 

"Dongju, we've been so 'focused' that you thought I was going to sever our bond last night... because you weren't pregnant." Geonhak gently pushed Dongju's hair out of his face. "We have options and maybe we should look more into them, instead of doing this?" 

"Geonhak." 

"A baby isn't less ours if you don't get pregnant." Geonhak sighed, "I just think we should consider all options, and do the one that is best for our family and future." 

"Dongmyeong-" 

"You aren't him. I don't care if he got pregnant easily, we aren't make decisions based on his body, we're making them based on ours." Geonhak watched the other carefully. "Sunflower, listen to me, I will love our children no matter how we have them. You're amazing. You're the love of my life. My mate." 

"Geonhak." Dongju said softly. "I just want a family with you." 

"As I do with you." Geonhak said pulling Dongju in for a slow kiss. When they pulled back Dongju gave him a small smile. "I'm going to take you out on a date on Saturday. I want to spend a day with you where we don't talk or think about having children. We're going to spend a day just being us." 

"I know I need to let it go." Dongju said quietly. 

"I'm not saying that." Geonhak said softly, not wanting to push the omega. "I want you to feel what you feel and I want you to tell me, to share it with me." Geonhak stroked the other's hair gently. He knew Dongju's pain ran deep and always felt like he had to mask his own feelings in order to temper his mate's but he did also know if Dongju was seeking comfort from the packs beta, then there were things he wasn't telling him. 

"I know you said earlier we'd consider our options, I don't think I'd be okay if we did surrogacy." Dongju said "I know it's stupid but someone else doing the job I'm supposed to do - I can't handle it, even just thinking about it makes me stressed out." 

"Okay, we'll strike that off the list." 

"Are you really okay with that?" 

"Yeah, if you wouldn't be comfortable then I don't want to do it." Geonhak gave Dongju a little smile, as if they weren't talking about their inability to conceive. "And how do you feel about adoption?" 

"I think it's our best option." Dongju said shifting a little, "I just - what if we can't bond them?" 

"In what would could you not bond a cute child?" Geonhak shook his head a little. "Agencies match based on bonding patterns and stuff. You get support for it." 

"We should think about it more, and talk about it more." Dongju said softly. "I know it's stupid, but I just still want to do it myself. I'm just not ready to give up." 

"I'm ready to go at your pace Dongju. I know you really want to do this yourself, but there is no shame if we can't." Geonhak said, the other man had taken his hand and was playing with it. 

"How do you feel about it Geonhak?" Dongju said not looking at the alpha. "I know I've not been the best mate. I get so caught up in my thoughts that I've not asked you as often as I should." 

"I love you Dongju, but it does hurt. Every time we get a negative it breaks my heart as well. I want to have family with you - I've known we would have a family since we met but it's not been as easy as I thought it would be. I can't bear how much it hurts you." Geonhak took a deep breath. "I love you, and I want to know your pain so I can help your bear that load but sometimes I think you hide it from me." 

"I love you too Geonhak." Dongju said squeezing Geonhak's hand. "I'm sorry that I've been making everything more difficult." 

"I am sorry too Dongju, it takes two of us to let this issue go without discussion." Geonhak kissed the omega again. "Can I ask what you do when you're with Keonhee?" 

"We mostly just talk... I told him, you know how broken I feel. I felt like you would want to sever with me to find an omega who could give you all the babies you want." 

"I would never." Geonhak said softly, holding Dongju closer, both of them just lying with each other, sharing their bond rather than having to talk. They could be comfortable in silence with each other but they had not been doing that lately, Geonhak felt more comfortable in the bond today. He knew that the other was feeling more content and safe in the bond. Dongju fell asleep shortly after, Geonhak gently stroked the omega's hair, he allowed himself to join the other in slumber.

\- ☆ - 

Saturday morning and both of them were getting ready for their date. Dongju was finishing up his makeup humming to himself. Geonhak was happy to see the other smiling. Dongju moved when he was done to pull Geonhak in for a kiss, arms around him. Geonhak loved this Dongju who was comfortable and easily affectionate. "Is what I'm wearing okay?" Dongju stepped back so Geonhak could take him all in. "You barely gave my anything to work with."

"You look perfect" Geonhak pulled the other in for another kiss. "I can't wait to treat you." Dongju rolled his eyes a little but still moved to give him another kiss. He was in a good mood when they got in the car, Dongju connected his phone to the car and playing his music as they drove towards where Geonhak was taking Dongju. The omega fell asleep in the car and Geonhak couldn't help but smile. Dongju fell asleep easily, but also he did know the omega had been struggling to sleep recently. Despite the agreement that they would not think about children, about their struggles but as he drove Geonhak couldn't help but wonder if Dongju would ever forgive himself for the negative tests. No one but Dongju was blaming him - it was no one's fault but Geonhak felt bad that he couldn't protect his love from the guilt and shame he felt. It had only gotten worse since Dongmyeong had gotten pregnant, and Geonhak was incapable of pulling his mate out of the vortex. 

Geonhak saw how the rest of the pack looked at them, they could see Dongju was drowning and they could see that Geonhak was failing as an alpha, failing to save him. He had never asked Dongju directly about the guilt he could feel - because he was afraid of the depth that feeling ran. Geonhak was afraid that their trials to conceive had done more damage than could be fixed, that he was the ruin of his own mate. "What are you thinking about?" Dongju mumbled, still sleepy. Geonhak turned to smile at him when they stopped at a red light. 

"Trying to decide where I'm going to take you to eat. Do you want Korean or Japanese?" 

"I always pick Korean." Dongju shrugged, "Wait... Are we going to the aquarium?" Geonhak could hear the grin in Dongju's voice. He promised himself that he would not let his mind wander again to his fears about their current situation to do with fertility, this was about them and Dongju sounded so excited it was infectious. "You know when we had our date here, Dongmyeong dropped me off and he waited in the car part for like twenty minutes in case I changed my mind." 

"I would say why didn't Giwook come, but honestly Dongmyeong would have beaten me up if I upset you." Geonhak laughed as he pulled into the aquarium car park. "Plus I knew from when I asked you out that you were meant to be mine." 

"No... I did know, I told Dongmyeong that I'd met my mate, and he was nervous, I'd never accepted an alpha's offer before - he thought I was being swayed just because you were handsome." Dongju laughed a little, "I mean, you are handsome, but I could feel it. I can't explain what, but I just knew it was you." 

"This wasn't the date where you went into pre-heat was it?" 

"No." Dongju huffed a little. "That was when we went to see that movie you and Giwook's song was being used in and we had to called Dongmyeong to come get me because you were just pushing me further into pre-heat and we'd never discussed heats or anything. I cried in his car and then in bed when I was in heat because I wanted you, but he wouldn't let me call you." 

"He did call me." Geonhak said as he parked and got out, taking Dongju's hand as they walked towards the building. 

"Did he?" Dongju looked surprised, and Geonhak smiled at him. 

"For real, he called me and told me that if you called and asked me to come that I was to say no. He didn't want me to bite you before we had a plan." Geonhak smiled at the memory. "Oh and I could hear Giwook in the background telling Dongmyeong that I was a good guy and he was being crazy." 

"I'm glad we waited until a rut and a heat synced." Dongju said with a smile. "It felt like something for both of us not just one of us. Plus it gave me time to meet our pack." They paid admission and began to walk around looking at the exhibits, Dongju taking plenty of photographs - that Geonhak was sure he was spamming to everyone as he did so. Dongju was so happy that Geonhak couldn't even believe how good this idea had been. Dongju pulled him for a kiss as they stood under the conveyor belt. "This was such a good idea Geonhak." Dongju grinned, arms still around the alpha as they watched the tank together. 

"I'm glad you liked it both times." 

"I won't be happy until we see the penguins." Dongju said playfully. Geonhak shook his head, holding Dongju tighter. "I love it here." 

"I do too." Geonhak smiled, Dongju kissed him again before pulling him into the next enclosure. Dongju stopped when they got to the mantee tank before he burst out laughing when one of the animals swam into one of the others. 

"That one is Seoho for sure." Dongju laughed. 

"Am I the one he hit?" Geonhak said playfully. 

"No, no if it was you they'd be in some sort of weird fight, it's more like... Keonhee." Dongju said with a smile, "But I don't think Keonhee is a manatee really." 

"No... neither do I." Geonhak laughed, they walked to the seals and Dongju stood staring at them, watching them playing and having fun with each other. "These are like you." Geonhak said with a smile. "You're playful and cute." 

"I was." Dongju said, threatening to fall into that spiral again. 

"You are, I mean we're having fun aren't we?" Geonhak smiled, kissing Dongju's cheek. "Am I seal too?" 

"You're more like a sea lion." Dongju said with a nod, as if he'd really thought about it, "but a sea lion who loves a seal." 

When they got to the penguins they stayed to watch the feeding and Dongju seemed even happier, Geonhak was glad they had avoided a problem earlier, it was nice to be like this. To just be them, even if it was just for a few hours before they returned to their life. They ate at the aquarium cafe before getting back in the car. "Have fun?" 

"Mhm, you owe me Korean Kim Geonhak." Dongju teased, his hand on Geonhak's thigh as he drove back towards their place. 

"Next time I will take you out to eat at your favourite restaurant." Geonhak smiled. "I think we should do this more often." 

"Yeah, I think so too. It was nice to just get away from it all."

\- ☆ - 

Geonhak laughed against Dongju's lips as they fell onto their bed, kissing each other hard. Geonhak was on top of Dongju, the omega had one leg hooked around his hip. Geonhak shifted to take off his and Dongju's shirts, kissing over the bite mark at the base of the other's neck. He kissed it gently a few times, Dongju's hand in the back of Geonhak's hair gently stroking through the hair. "I love you Geonhak." Dongju said softly.

"I love you too Dongju." Geonhak said, the softness pulling him back, he moved to lie next to the other man, kissing him again softly. Dongju was happy, he could feel it in their bond. Happy in a way that they hadn't felt for a long time. He kept them close as they shared kisses, Geonhak could not imagine a time where this wouldn't be his favourite thing to do with Dongju. Sex with Dongju was great, but he loved their natural intimacy. "Did you have fun today Sunflower?" 

"Yeah it was really fun." Dongju said, "We should do things like this more often." Dongju shifted a little closer to him and kissed him again. "We should go to the natural history museum, I heard they have a new exhibit about Pompeii, that could be fun right?" 

"Anything would be fun with you." Geonhak grinned, everything felt so calm and settled.


	3. I'm not angry, it's just the way I talk - Dongju

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a sex scene at the start of the chapter just so you know. 
> 
> I know I said that this fic wasn't all sad but I _promise_ things start getting brighter in the next chapter. 
> 
> Thank you for the comments, kudos and views, you guys are the best.

Dongju didn't know how but the date at the aquarium had started to settle him. He felt their mate bond being stronger than it had been before, he was trying to tell Geonhak more, and understand each other better. Dongju felt bad that he'd been so focused that he had neglected his alpha. He was beginning to think that they should go to couple's therapy - he just didn't know how to ask Geonhak to go with him. He wanted to be able to tell Geonhak everything but there was just so much pain in both of them that he could never bring himself to say it. Dongju lay on his stomach, looking at the alpha lying next to him, he wondered if Geonhak knew that he only kept his feelings inside because he wanted to protect him. Just as he was about to get up, he was pulled back down and Geonhak kissed him. Dongju laughed against his lips, kissing his alpha a few times. "Please don't tell me you have an early call time." Geonhak mumbled between kisses. "I want a bit more time with you." 

Dongju felt light as they kissed. "I know but I have work and you do too." Dongju said with a laugh, getting out of the bed and trying to pull Geonhak out of the bed with him. Geonhak weighed more than Dongju would probably every be able to life - which admittedly was not very much. "Please Geonhak," he pouted. "I'll even let you join me in the shower." 

"But the bed is so much nicer and you're already in basically nothing." Geonhak teased, although he did move to get up. Dongju did almost always get his way when it came to Geonhak, not that he was complaining about it. They stripped what they had remaining off and got into the shower, the warm water hitting Dongju's back as he pulled Geonhak in for another kiss. Dongju's had one arm around Geonhak's neck and the other was running down the other's chest, gently moving to stroke the other, neither of them had been under any illusions as to what sharing a shower would be. Dongju kissed Geonhak again harder. 

Geonhak's hands gripped his hips harder and Dongju gasped against the other's mouth. "Alpha." Dongju breathed out, Geonhak had moved to press a finger against him. Dongju pressed closer, knowing he was slick already, he breathed out the other's name again as the man began to slowly finger him. Dongju kept stroking Geonhak, he pulled back from the kiss, kissing down the alpha's neck, biting down on it, Geonhak groaned, second finger entering Dongju. Geonhak had always liked to be bitten by Dongju - and Dongju couldn't help himself but to bite the other. Dongju began moving his hips against the other, Geonhak soon pushed a third in and Dongju whined, he hated preparation, and they had a limited amount of time. 

Geonhak lifted him, and Dongju wrapped his legs around the alpha's hips. Dongju made a small sound when Geonhak pushed in, his lips finding the alpha's again, as Geonhak pushed him against the wall. Dongju gasped when his back hit the wall, he looked at his partner. "Sorry." Geonhak mumbled, as if Dongju was hurt. 

"I'm sure you'll make it up to me." Dongju said hand slipping to the back of the other's hair, Geonhak started moving without giving him any warning, which Dongju knew was to try to elicit a noise from him. Dongju and Geonhak had gone through a phase when they'd first mated where they had been unable to keep the noise down, but now they had gotten better at keeping quiet and it was like a game to see who could make the other loud. When they were in a playful mood - which Dongju had to admit had been less lately. Dongju intentionally tensed around Geonhak and couldn't help but smirk at the sound. 

"You're lucky we're in the shower." Geonhak said kissing at Dongju's jawline, Dongju breathing out slowly, trying to temper his sounds. His hand dropped to stroke himself, they didn't have time to drag this out - as fun as it would be. Dongju rolled his hips against Geonhak's movements, pulling him for a kiss to swallow both of their sounds. 

When he could feel Geonhak, buck harder, more erratically, Dongju knew the other was close. "Remember you can't knot." Dongju said, moaning out louder than he intended when his alpha hit his sweet spot. "Alpha, I'm so close for you." 

"We might have time." 

"Not for me to get ready." Dongju said between incoherent sounds. "Geonhak." He knew he sounded needy, but he'd never felt like he had to hide that from his alpha, everything he had was Geonhaks. 

"I know." Geonhak said voice deep and warm, only encouraging Dongju who came over their stomachs when Geonhak bit down over their mate bite, hand in the back of Geonhak's hair, giving it a tug. Geonhak came a few movements later and Dongju did wish the other had knotted but they really did have to get ready for the day. Geonhak had straightened and Dongju had fallen more forward, his weight more on his alpha than the wall. Although, his alpha didn't mention it, only helping him stand when he was ready. 

Once they were ready and Dongju was just doing his makeup - he refused to go on set without it, what kind of makeup artist would he be if he didn't look the part? Although really it just gave him more confidence, his phone went off. Geonhak reached for it and Dongju looked over at him. "What is it?" 

"Your calendar alarm for Dongmyeong's heat." Geonhak said and it felt a bit like their façade had been fractured. The happy couple who had bond affirming sex was not who they were, they were going to be the couple who couldn't conceive and were going to be looking after his twins child. "We have a few days til he should be in pre-heat." 

"Yeah." Dongju finished up what he wanted for his makeup and smiled at Geonhak, "I hope their bite is as wonderful for them as it was for me when you bit me." Dongju walked over and kissed his alpha. "I am lucky to have you." Dongju really felt loved with Geonhak and he was trying not think about everything they did not have.

\- ☆ - 

Dongju was nervous when he went to speak to Seoho, having decided while he was at work that the only person would be able to help him was the alpha. Seoho was in his room, it made Dongju feel a little sad to know that Youngjo and Seoho had had this room for years before everything happened. He couldn't imagine staying in the room he shared with Geonhak if Geonhak left him. He noted that Seoho still had some of the pictures of him and Youngjo up. Seoho was sat on the bed, listening to some music, he stopped the music when Dongju sat down on the other side of the bed. "Everything alright Dongju? I can't let you sleep in here, Geonhak would never-" 

"I know, and I'm not here to ask that." Dongju said with a little pout. "I've really been that bad to him, haven't I?" 

"Dongju, you've been dealing with the pain in your own way and he understands it, we all understand that it's something you need to deal with." Dongju knew that Seoho was trying to be nice, but he also knew the pack could feel the stress between him and Geonhak, some of them would think it was Geonhak's fault and others would think it was Dongju's. "What is it that you came here for? It's a bit early to decide you want me to drive you to work tomorrow." 

"No... I was wondering. It's really dumb and I don't want to upset you, but does it ever stop hurting?" Dongju said staring at the bed sheets. 

"You want to ask me about Youngjo?" Seoho said and Dongju felt guilty hearing the pain in Seoho's voice. "Why?" 

"I just. I need to know if it stops hurting." 

"Geonhak isn't going to leave you." Seoho said and Dongju was getting frustrated, he didn't want to have to say it, he just wanted an answer to the question. 

"I'm talking about my niece, Seoho. I want to know if the pain will go away. I love her so much but it hurts and I thought you would be able to tell me and I realise now I was just being dumb." Dongju got up and went to the door, his hand was on the handle when Seoho finally spoke. 

"It hurts still. It hurts every time I see him, worse when I see them together, it hurts when I know Hwanwoong is in heat or Youngjo is in rut and I know that they're a match because I could never give Youngjo the whole mate thing. It doesn't stop me loving him though." Dongju turned and looked at him, he had not been aware that Seoho was still in love with Youngjo, although really it did make sense. "But your niece, she didn't break your heart, and you will eventually be able to look at her and your twin and not see what you have been trying for. You will have kids Dongju, and I think you are going to be okay. Seri loves you and you love her, it will be okay." 

"So I just have to endure it a bit longer." 

"It will pass Dongju, you're going to be okay. We all have your back." Seoho paused, "Geonhak told me that when Dongmyeong has his heat that you guys are looking after her - which I assume is why you want to ask me this. But, I'll be at home for most of it so you can leave her with me if you two need a break." 

"Thanks." Dongju said quietly. "And I was sorry when Youngjo-" 

"I know Dongju, I was too." Seoho said before looking back at the laptop. Dongju had a lot to think about, he knew that Geonhak would support him, but he just wanted to be the best uncle he could be - it just felt like part of him was just out of control and was just hurting and lashing out. He was afraid that people would think he did not love Seri, because he did - he loved his niece more than anything, she was just a reminder of what he didn't have.

\- ☆ - 

Dongju had been thinking about them looking after Seri since his conversation with Seoho. He was sat on a kitchen counter while Geonhak cooked. "Geonhak... do you think I should take heat suppressants while Seri is here?" 

"Why would we do that you're doing fertility treatments?" Geonhak asked, although he didn't look up from the food. 

"I know. But if I go into heat when we have Seri it's not fair to her or the pack who will have to look after her." Dongju wanted to say it didn't matter, it wasn't like they were going to get pregnant. It was hard to say 

"Your heat isn't for like two weeks." 

"I know but when I get Seri, Dongmyeong's going to be in pre-heat and it's supposed to be stronger than even his first heat. He's my twin so we've always triggered each other." 

"I'll go" 

"Oh yeah. You're gonna go. Giwook's omega is going to be in an intense heat and you think he's going to hand their baby to an alpha. You're acting like I'm doing this to hurt you." 

"Do what you want Dongju. Take suppressants or don't." Before he could answer Youngjo came in pouring a drink for himself and watching them. 

"You two okay?" Youngjo's tone was calm and Dongju could already feel the pack leaders pheromones. Which only hardened Dongju's resolve to feel annoyed. He hated when alpha's tried to control his mood. 

"We're wonderful." Dongju said, before jumping down off the counter. He knew Youngjo would side with Geonhak so it was a pointless conversation. Geonhak was never going to back down, he was never going to see it from Dongju's point of view. 

It was made even more pointless when Giwook called an hour later saying Dongmyeong had gone into pre-heat early. Geonhak and Dongju were still not exactly talking, which made it slightly easier for Dongju to just leave the alpha to put up the travel cot while he went with Keonhee to go get Seri.

\- ☆ - 

Giwook came to the door, he looked at Dongju and Keonhee and gave them both a small smile. Dongju could smell Dongmyeong's pre-heat from the door, "I know." Giwook said with a small look, "it's a lot, the others have left, Seri is already in the carrier - you just have to fasten her in okay? You know how to do that?" 

"Yes Giwook, don't worry." 

"Okay so we thought we had a few more days so we hadn't fully packed and Dongmyeong packed it while I was at work. I've not been able to check it - your know what your brother is like in pre-heat. Seri is sleeping, she should sleep most of the evening, we kind of tired her out a little with play time - we wanted to spent time with her. So it should just be easy except for when she needs to feed. You know how to do formula?" 

"Yes Giwook, I have looked after her before." 

"Okay." Giwook went to get the carrier and handed it to Dongju, before handing the bag of her things to Keonhee. "Okay, that's everything." Giwook gently moved the girls blanket. "Daddy and I love you and we'll come get you as soon as we can." Giwook bit his lip and Dongju understood that it was the longest they had been without her. He knew Dongmyeong would complain but he was having to stay back because of the fear of triggering Dongju's own heat. "If we missed anything when Dongmyeong packed, buy it and then just tell me after and we'll pay you back. If you need anything else you can call me or text me and I will get back to you as soon as I can." 

"Giwook." Dongju said with a smile. "Don't worry about it okay? Geonhak and I know how to look after her. You focus on Dongmyeong and sealing your bite bond. It's a moment for the two of you." Dongju put the baby carrier down to give him a hug. "I am so happy that you're going to be bonded." He felt relieved to know that his twin was finally going to be bonded. "Don't worry about Seri and us, we love her and we will look after her. You know she's safe with us, so please love your mate and remember he's going to tell me." Dongju teased before picking the carrier back up and they went back down to Keonhee's car. 

"She secure?" Keonhee asked as Dongju got in the front. He nodded, and Keonhee started to drive. "Did you and Geonhak make up?" 

"It wasn't really a fight, and he won anyway." Dongju sighed, "It was stupid to think I should take suppressants when I'm trying to get pregnant." 

"Not if Dongmyeong being in heat is a risk to trigger yours. You have to think about Seri," 

"Exactly. But of course Geonhak doesn't agree and then Youngjo came in - and you know he's going to side with Geonhak." Dongju sighed, "I thought we were doing better but really we're just pretending like we weren't failing." 

"You aren't failing." Keonhee said, eyes never leaving the road. "You told me that you two had discussed your options, you could stop trying and look at them seriously." 

"How am I supposed to tell Geonhak that." Dongju said with a small sigh. 

When they got back Dongju transferred Seri into the cot, putting her favourite plushie in with her. Geonhak watched him and Dongju knew that he was going to have to talk to his mate, he pressed a kiss to Geonhak's cheek. "I don't want to fight. You won anyway." 

"That sounds like you do want to fight." Geonhak said with a sigh. 

"No. I really don't." Dongju said softly. "I want to just move on. You should have told Youngjo not to influence me, you know I hate it." 

"He's our pack leader." 

"He says we're all equals in the pack." Dongju stood his ground and Geonhak just nodded. 

"I'll talk to him about it." Geonhak looked tired, "We need to stop this fighting Dongju." 

"I know but this is not a conversation to have while we're with Seri." Dongju said, Geonhak took his hand and nodded. "But... I think we should go to couples therapy. I know I don't make it easy, but I just think we need a space to talk and have someone there to help us communicate." 

"Find someone and we'll go. We need to work on ourselves and our bond." Geonhak said and the conversation was pretty much done, they were able to go back to before - although it was slightly more subdued. Dongju spent the next day with Seri, it was just him and her and it had been difficult. He was relieved when Geonhak got home, but they discovered that Dongmyeong had not packed enough diapers and they needed another change of clothes for her. 

Geonhak had gone, because he could drive, Dongju was left sitting on the couch in the communal area with the girl. He couldn't help himself looking at her, she looked like Dongmyeong in his baby pictures, and every time he saw her she looked more and more like his twin. He felt even more envious of his twin, because he could see himself in this girl, he could see what he was so desperate for and it hurt. It was hurting so much and he was doing his best to just try to make everything okay. 

"Do you need me to take her?" Dongju looked up, pulled out of his consuming thoughts and saw Seoho, he nodded. "Okay." Seoho sat next to him and shifted to take the baby girl into his arms. "Where is Geonhak?" 

"Store. Dongmyeong was in pre-heat, he forgot some of the stuff." Dongju said quietly, staring at the baby still. "She looks like him. Like fully from our side." 

"Dongju." Seoho said slowly. Seoho adjusted the blanket around the girl. "I think you need a break okay?" 

"I do love her." Dongju said quietly. "I do." 

"I know Dongju, I know you love her. But you're struggling and it's okay. Really, I can deal with her for a bit and if I need to I can call Geonhak or something. I'm sure Youngjo will answer his phone too." Dongju nodded, he felt bad, he was unable to even just be an uncle without this pain in his chest. "No one is going to judge you for needing some time apart from Seri. Dongmyeong-" 

"I'm his twin."

"He knows your struggle." Seoho said with a shrug, "I mean, he doesn't always see things - and I know you've never told him how much it really hurts you." 

"I love Seri, and I don't want anyone to think I don't." 

"I know you do, but you look like you're going to cry. So please, you just leave us in here and you go get a break." Seoho was good with Seri and she was clearly happy to be in the alpha's arms. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes." Seoho said with a smile. "I really want you to get a break."


	4. In the Middle of an Overwhelming Wave - Geonhak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently I just couldn't stay away from this fic. I promise we're on a more hopeful arc right now 
> 
> So you know I have no training in couple's therapy, so this is just done how it would be done in the a/b/o world (regarding some of the rules they have). 
> 
> thank you so much for comments, kudos, and just reading, I still can't believe anyone would want to read this story.

It was weird to walk into the packs apartment and see Seoho sat in the living room, holding Seri. He walked over and smiled. "Hi Seri, sweetness, has your uncle Seoho been looking after you?" Geonhak sat down and then looked at Seoho. "Did she behave?" 

"She was an angel, she is refusing to sleep though." 

"She wants to see everything, Giwook told me she's the worst to put down to sleep, but she's pretty good for them most of the time. I think she's really good for Harin." 

"Harin is her pack alpha so it makes sense." 

"I can take her back if you want." 

"I think you should check on Dongju." Seoho said sighing. "I mean, I have her because he was just on the edge of tears, Geonhak." Geonhak nodded. "He's just... I felt bad leaving him alone but Keonhee is on a date and Hwanwoong and Youngjo are visiting Youngjo's parents so it was just me and him." 

"Thanks." Geonhak got up and went into their room. He sighed when he saw Dongju curled up in their bed. He wrapped his arm around the omega and pulled him closer. "I know Dongju. You don't have to explain. You know that." Geonhak said softly.

"She's beautiful." Dongju said with a sadness to his voice. "I know shes only a few months but she looks exactly like him. It's stupid. I'm sorry." 

"Don't be sorry. You did the best you could and you gave her to someone who cares about her to. You made sure she was safe. I know you're struggling Dongju." 

"I just need a few minutes, then I'll be okay." Dongju just lay with him and Geonhak knew his scent was helping to ground Dongju. "Is Seoho okay?" 

"Yeah, he's actually good with her" Geonhak pressed a quick kiss to Dongju's lips. "This is our first time with her for so long. It hurts me too to see what they have. But she's our niece and she loves us. We can do this." 

"I know." Dongju spoke quietly. 

"Plus earlier I saw her reaction to your scent." 

"I smell like her daddy." 

"Your scents are similar but different. She just likes yours. You've got a very welcoming and safe scent... if we adopted, you would be able to create a good bond" 

"I think adoption could be an option for us." Dongju said quietly. "I mean, we'd have a parental bond and they'd be ours." 

"Yeah. They would be ours and I think if we continue to struggle. We should do it. It's not saying no to biological children but it's starting our family and giving a child love and the best life we can." Geonhak could feel the omega calming down. "Shall we go rescue our niece from Seoho?" 

"Yeah. She needs her favourite uncles." Geonhak went to go and get Seri, bringing her back into their room and he sat on the floor with her, playing with one of the toys for her. Dongju moved to join him and lent on him. "She looks like your brother." 

"I know." Dongju said quietly. "But way cuter." 

"Yeah she is way cuter." Geonhak grinned, giving Dongju a kiss on the cheek. "I know you're having a rough time with this, and I'm so proud of you." He said giving him another kiss, this time on the lips. "I love you." Geonhak moved to put Seri in the cot when it became clear she needed a nap. 

"I want that taking down as soon as she's gone." Dongju said not looking at Geonhak. 

"As soon as Dongmyeong tells us he is coming to get his daughter, I will take the cot down." Geonhak looked at Dongju. "When we go to therapy, I want to talk about this, about us and kids and whatever it is you feel like you can't tell me." Dongju had his knees pulled up to his chest and arms wrapped around his legs. "I can see you're in pain Dongju but I cannot help if you don't talk to me." 

"We're not talking about this in front of Seri." Dongju said and Geonhak knew he had to back down on this one. He wasn't going to push Dongju while they were looking after their niece. "I will find us a place to go talk about these things. Please, can we just drop it for now." Geonhak nodded. 

Geonhak hated to admit he was relieved when Dongmyeong called the next day to say he and Giwook were coming to get Seri. Dongju was at work so Geonhak had been looking after the girl for the morning by himself. It did hurt, being able to see his mate's blood in the little girl. Dongmyeong went straight to his daughter when they came over. Geonhak smiled, Dongmyeong held the girl close, telling her how much he missed her. Giwook had joined him, both of them fussing over the girl. "I didn't buy her this," Dongmyeong said looking at Geonhak, "Did I not pack enough clothing?" 

"No, but I liked buying my niece a little outfit." Geonhak said, his eyes finally catching a flash of Dongmyeong's bite, it was more hidden than Dongju's had been, but he could feel the happiness of a fresh bite radiating off them both. "You both look good." 

"Yeah." Dongmyeong smiled, "I feel good, I didn't realise how good this would feel." Giwook had moved to put Seri in the carrier, and Dongmyeong looked at Geonhak. "Was Dongju okay?" 

"Yeah, he was fine." Geonhak said with a smile, he hated lying but Dongju did not want his twin knowing about this. "She was really well behaved." 

Dongmyeong kept his eyes on Geonhak and the alpha knew the omega was trying to decide if he was going to argue about this. "Okay, as long as he was okay. I did worry when we asked that he was going to find it difficult."

\- ☆ - 

They were sat in the room with the couple's therapist, she was nice, a beta - which was good because she could stay neutral and was less affected by either of their emotions. Today she wanted them to talk about children - they had discussed their bond and that had helped Geonhak. They understood each other better, they just had avoided this topic for the weeks that they had been doing this, but they'd gotten another negative test that morning. Hyewon looked at them both. "So Dongju, Geonhak told us that you took a test today and you're not pregnant. It has been a long time that you've been trying right?" Dongju had not spoken the entire time they'd been here. Geonhak could feel the hurt and the shame and the guilt all radiating off Dongju, it was always like this and he just wanted Dongju to say something, he wanted to help him. Dongju's arms tightened around the pillow on his lap. "I understand that this is difficult for you Dongju."

"You don't understand." Dongju said and Geonhak sighed, of course Dongju had gone straight to defensive. Hyewon was trying to help and he was just doing what he did to Geonhak. 

"Okay, I don't understand, why don't you help me understand how you're feeling?" 

"It's too much." Dongju held the pillow closer to him. "I am an omega, I'm supposed to have babies and raise them with my alpha - and you know Geonhak is an amazing alpha. I should be able to give him kids, and I really really want to. I can't give him what any other omega would be able to give him." Geonhak wanted to touch Dongju to reassure him but they had agreed not to touch each other because of the influence of their bond on each others pheromones, they had to let each other feel. "I feel guilty that I can't do this and then I'm embarrassed and it's frustrating because I've only ever really wanted one thing and it's this and I can't have it. I feel ashamed when people ask me when we plan on having children, I see the way our pack looks at me. The broken omega." Dongju looked at Hyewon, "it's not just our pack it's everyone, and you will too now you know." 

"Our pack don't look at you like that." Geonhak said. "We fight after we get negative tests, and our bond has been strained and they don't know what to do about us." Geonhak explained, "not one person in our pack thinks that you are broken. They just don't know what to say - you've tried to fight Youngjo and Seoho." Dongju was crying and it hurt Geonhak so much to not be able to touch him. 

"Because I'm damaged goods and they know that. I am sorry Geonhak." 

"Why? You don't have to be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry about. We haven't conceived but we have options for our family Dongju, I just feel like I'm holding us together. I feel the grief too, the frustration, I feel it too. I see how your parents have looked at us since Dongmyeong had a baby, like they're waiting for us. But I have to be the one of us who tries to look after you. Dongju, you shut me out but you're in so much pain and I can't stand it." Geonhak took a slow breath, "you do know that it makes it look like I'm the failure, you're in so much pain that you're lashing out at everyone and everyone expects me to know what to do or say to calm you down and I just don't. I don't know what to do, Dongju, I have no idea what to say to you." 

"I just feel like it's a waiting game, that you're going to wake up and realise that you picked the wrong twin." 

"You're the only thing in my life that I know is right, Dongju." Geonhak looked at Hyewon, "Please can I hold him?" He couldn't bear to see Dongju crying. 

"Yes, I think we should leave this session for today. I want you two to spend the next week telling each other how you feel every day, good or bad and just try to talk each other through your feelings." Hyewon gave them a smile and Geonhak nodded, moving as soon as he could to hold Dongju. They were a team, a pair bonded together, and he felt like they were making good steps towards where they needed to be but it just wasn't as easy a fix as Geonhak had first thought it would be. He knew deep down that the best thing for them was to stop trying to conceive a child and to look at their alternatives, but it scared him, what if Dongju took it the wrong way?

At first it had been hard to discuss their feelings but as they did it every day it got easier, not only to understand each other but also to see the moods and feelings in their partner. Sure it wasn't perfect but Geonhak was less afraid that they were unable to handle the big emotions that they both had. It was easier when they were completely honest about how they felt and it made everything so much more secure in their bond too.

\- ☆ - 

When Geonhak went into Youngjo's room a few weeks later, he was surprised to see that Hwanwoong was out, he assumed the other was teaching a dance class or something. Youngjo was just sat at his desk looking over some sort of article. "Youngjo." Geonhak said going to sit down next to him, they had grown up as best friends and as soon as they could he had accepted himself into the pack. He loved Youngjo's leadership style - he'd done his best to manage the Seoho, Hwanwoong, him painful mess well and still done the best thing he could for the pack. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure." Youngjo turned so he was facing Geonhak. "As pack leader or?" 

"Pack leader, my best friend, honestly Youngjo I just need your advice." Geonhak bit his lip. "You know Dongju and I have been trying to start our family?" Youngjo nodded, "And you know that it's not been going well." 

"I've noticed Seoho has been taking him to work more. And he's spending nights with Keonhee sometimes." Youngjo said and Geonhak avoided his eyes. "He's not cheating on you, I discussed it already with Keonhee." Youngjo looked away when Geonhak glared at him. 

"I knew he wasn't cheating on me." Geonhak said taking a breath. "I wanted to talk to you about our problem but you thought that I-" 

"I just had to make sure." Youngjo said quietly. "I never doubted your bond, but he feels so distressed and guilty so often." Youngjo looked at Geonhak, "Keonhee told me the guilt was to do with you failing to conceive." 

"He thinks he's the issue." 

"You two are doing treatments for it, right?" Youngjo shifted, "You know I'm not trained in fertility medicine. I can't advise you on that." 

"I want to know if you think adoption would be a good idea for us." 

"You spoken to him about it?" 

"Kind of, we've talked about it- but. Do you think he's-" 

"Do I think he could accept a child he did not carry?" Youngjo asked and Geonhak nodded, "I've known Dongju since you met him - I do not presume to know him better than you. In my opinion, he would be able to make a bond with a child, I would recommend adoption for you. But maybe you should ask Giwook, he grew up with Dongju." 

"The risk with asking Giwook is that his mate is Dongmyeong - and Dongju is really sensitive about his brother knowing about our fertility problems." 

"There is no shame in adopting." Youngjo said softly, "I do think adoption would suit you both. You two are meant to be parents." 

"I just need to work out how to tell him I'm serious about adoption." 

"I mean, I'm looking at moving the pack into housing, Seoho and Keonhee, Hwanwoong and I and then obviously you two. It would be a good chance when we talk about moving, you could talk about that. Adopting also doesn't mean you won't ever have biological children, but you two are more than ready to start having kids."

\- ☆ - 

Geonhak had psyched himself up for this conversation, it was scary. Scarier than Geonhak had anticipated. He sat watching Dongju get ready, they were going out for a meal but suddenly it hit Geonhak that Dongju wouldn't want to talk about this in public. "Sunflower, I have a question." Dongju put down the eyeliner pencil and turned to face him. "If I want to talk to you about something is it better to just tell you now or wait til dinner?"

"Is it serious?" Geonhak nodded. "Am I going to cry?" 

"Maybe." 

"Tell me now." Dongju said looking at Geonhak, "before my makeup can't be cried on." 

"I want to look into adoption." Geonhak said "you know Youngjo wants to move us to houses rather than the apartment because of Seoho but our house, it would be the perfect place for a child - and I don't know if it's healthy for us to keep trying to conceive. I've done some preliminary research, we're the right age, I earn enough just by myself and our bond has been in place for long enough that we should be eligible. Our pack is also stable and we have no other children. Of course we would have to be... approved and we will have our bond evaluated to decide what age ranges we would suit adopting but I really think it's our best option." 

"So we would stop trying to conceive?" 

"I mean, we would stop putting pressure on it, but we're still going to have sex." Geonhak knew that wasn't what Dongju was asking. "I think that if you come off the treatments and we focus on adoption as our main option you will be much happier. We will be much happier." 

"I don't want to have sex when my phone tells us to, or lie in weird positions after." Dongju said with a small smile. "I agree, adoption is our best option. I think our bond should - every child of every age loves you, I think our bond could be good for a child." 

"We can start researching it." Geonhak smiled, getting up to kiss Dongju deeply. "You finish getting ready, then we'll go to the restaurant." He sat back down on the bed and waited for his mate to finish up. "How are you feeling Dongju?" 

"Happy." Dongju said, not looking over as he finished his makeup, "like for the first time since we started trying for a family that we really might have a child."


	5. The World Can Keep Away - Dongju

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this isn't as drama filled as the other chapters have been, I promise I have plenty things planned~
> 
> Just as a warning there is a mention of an underage pregnancy in this chapter, for a background character.
> 
> Thank you so much for comments, kudos and just reading. You guys are the best <3

Dongju was surprised at how much deciding they were going to adopt had made a difference. He felt increasingly more relaxed within their bond and like the pressure was off him. He sat with his brother, in the house that Dongmyeong's pack had moved into. It was two houses that were built for a small pack, their gardens were connected and it was easy for them to go to each other's houses. Dongmyeong and him were sat on the sofa, Seri was lying on her play mat. She was four months and could roll over now, she was getting closer to crawling, walking, sitting, and she was starting to almost make words. "She's getting so big now." Dongju smiled at the girl, the pain was still there - it still hurt to see how easy it had been for his twin to start a family. 

"Yesterday I took my eyes off her for like twenty seconds and she started to try to make her escape via rolling over." Dongmyeong said laughing, "Giwook would have lost his mind if she'd rolled into something and gotten hurt." 

"She's a daddy's girl." Dongju said with a smile, leaning against the sofa and watching the child. "Giwook and her have the cutest bond." 

"Yeah, they do." Dongmyeong sighed, "But of course that leaves me in a predicament doesn't it? Giwook wants me to make a choice on when to tell her about her real father." Dongmyeong looked at the baby, "She's literally four months old and he wants to make a choice, and when he says make a choice, he means a choice that isn't never telling her." 

"She is going to look like you." Dongju said with a shrug, "but at the same time... if she finds out-" 

"And how would that happen Dongju? Who's going to tell her, you? Our families don't know." Dongmyeong was defensive about this, "I love my daughter and my mate, and I never want her to feel less than." 

"You know she's never going to feel less loved by Giwook, he's bonded with her." Dongju looked at his twin, he knew better than to argue with him on this. "Alphas can be like that, Geonhak asks questions like that, where he knows my first choice isn't the right choice." Dongju said with a shrug. "Giwook just loves you both a lot. He just wants to plan ahead, you didn't exactly give him warning that he was gonna be a dad."

"You make it sound like I waited until she was born." Dongmyeong rolled his eyes. "You didn't come over to talk about Giwook did you, so what is it you want to talk about?" Dongju felt a bit of a pang of jealousy, he knew his brother was almost expecting him to be pregnant. 

"Geonhak and I are doing couples therapy, we are just working it out and our bond is stronger than it has been." 

"I did think you felt calmer." 

"Yeah... we discussed our fertility problems and how it was straining our bond. We've decided that we're going to adopt." Dongju felt nervous telling his twin, but Dongmyeong just smiled brighter. 

"Really? Thats so great. I would love Seri to have a cousin and you two will be great dads. So have you told our parents?" 

"Not yet... I'm kind of nervous. It makes us feel better, like we're not pressuring ourselves and we're going to start our family. But I don't know if mom and dad will understand." 

"They know you've been trying for so long. And they know how hard it was for you at the baby shower. They know this is all you want, they'll be happy and ready to love their new grandchild." 

"We have to get our bond evaluated, but we are hoping for a child younger than Seri, just for her to not feel confused but we aren't ruling any age out. Geonhak is great with kids and he is going to be an amazing dad." 

"You'll be an amazing parent too Dongju. Your kids are going to be so lucky to have you." Dongmyeong gave his twin a grin. "I have to put Seri down for a nap, but when I get back you need to tell me more about adoption." 

Dongju was surprised, he didn't feel like crying - it was the longest he'd spent with Seri without crying or having to take a break, it was the most comfortable he'd felt with Dongmyeong since his twin had gotten pregnant. He loved his twin, but it had been hard to see what he couldn't have. He smiled when Dongmyeong came back. "When do you go back to work?" 

"Next month I start going back part time." Dongmyeong smiled, "but I can draw at home too." Dongju knew that Dongmyeong could not go back to work, but that he wanted to. "I love Seri so much, but it will be nice to go back to work. Giwook would want to be a stay at home dad I think." Dongmyeong laughed

"Geonhak would probably let him work from home."

"If he tells him that Giwook will." Dongmyeong laughed. "How weird is it that my mate your mate work together?" 

"Annoying." Dongju rolled his eyes. "They talk to each other so you find things out before I get to tell you. Which is why I came to tell you about the adoption plans. We finalised which company we want to go with so Geonhak will tell Giwook. We're both so excited but..."

"You're worried?" Dongmyeong gave him a little look. "You will love him or her. No matter what. You won't feel the way you feel about other people's kids. You will be able to connect and love without that pain." 

"I'm just scared that I won't know how to bond." 

"I didn't know how to bond with Seri, and we didn't have the most conventional pregnancy and I hadn't really thought about kids. But when you have a child it does come. Your bond will form. No matter how they came to you. I mean look at Giwook, if you don't know then you'd think he was her biological parent." 

"She's half you, well mostly yours in the face but I won't be able to spring off Geonhak." Dongju sighed, Geonhak knew about these feelings that he had and was more than understanding. "I just want to be a good parent to whoever my little kid is out there. I want them to have the best bond."

\- ☆ - 

Things were more relaxed at home, he was surprised by how much just deciding to stop the fertility treatments and focus on adopting had lightened his mood. They were still going to therapy and he found it was helpful to have a place to talk, time set aside for them to address their relationship and bond. He had never stopped loving Geonhak but recently it had felt like they weren't the strongest bond but now Dongju couldn't wait to see his alpha every night again. Geonhak came back after work and pulled Dongju for a kiss.

"Do you two mind?" Seoho said from the couch and Dongju shot him a look. 

"You used to be worse." Geonhak said, arms still around Dongju. "Plus I'm just treating my gorgeous omega how he deserves." Geonhak stuck his tongue out and Dongju leaned to kiss the alphas cheek. 

"The forms came Geonhak." Dongju grinned. "Our first steps." 

After dinner the pair sat in their room looking through the forms. Everything was thorough, and that made Dongju feel better, that the agency would do their best to match a child who would share their bond well. The alpha kissed Dongju a few times as they tried to fill the forms in. "Sunflower, they want to know about our plans for biological children?" 

"I can't get pregnant it seems easy enough." Dongju said sadly, but without the rage that had previously consumed him about this issue. Dongju shifted to cuddle his alpha while he continued with the forms. "Are you sure you want to do this with me?" 

"Do you not want this?" Geonhak said quietly, hand rubbing Dongju's back. "I know you have been thinking about issues to do with bonding - but they are going to match based on bond type and how the child reacts." 

"I mean- you could sever and find an omega who could just give you a child with less forms to fill in, and you'd get to do the whole scan thing." Dongju shifted closer, face pressed against Geonhak's shoulder, taking in his mates scent. "I know it meant a lot to Giwook to see Seri and hear her heartbeat." He wished those guilty feelings would go away, but he couldn't help but feel like he was keeping his partner from having that experience. 

"We don't know for certain that you will never get pregnant Dongju - but also, regarding the scans and the whole watching my baby being brought into the world. I don't care. I will be sad to think that our child did all of that and some of their firsts without us, but it will never change how I feel about them, or you." Geonhak held Dongju tighter against him. "Our child is going to be so loved." 

Dongju kissed Geonhak's cheek. "I just don't want you to regret choosing me." 

"I would never regret being your mate Dongju." Geonhak held him close, "Adopting is a good option for us, even if we do conceive in the future, but I think this is our calling. I think we were meant to adopt a baby." 

"What do you think your parents will say?" 

"That they're glad we have decided to adopt. They know we've been struggling and last time we went there you ended up crying because of it all. They want us happy and want us to start our family. No one is going to judge our future child, they'll be ready to love and accept them." 

"Your parents are going to know that I'm... unable to give you babies. Your mom has always been excited for me to get pregnant." 

"Everyone in both families were excited for us to get pregnant. You know when my brother had his baby, he was very young and my parents struggled to get excited for it. Then his alpha severed just before Minhyun was born. It kind of ruined the whole thing. He was still a kid when Minhyun was born and you've seen how Minhyun has a stronger bond to my parents." Geonhak sighed, "They're excited that we're going to have a family within our mate bond and give them grandkids that feel like grandkids." 

"Your brother had a rough pregnancy even before the severing. I know the delivery was traumatic for him too." 

"I know and no one has ever blamed him for the way Minhyun is bonded." 

"The beta hes dating now seems nice." 

"Yeah, my dad told me that he's good to Minhyun too. But they are concerned about my brother joining this beta's pack because of Minhyun. They think Minhyuns bond is too strong with them." Geonhak kissed Dongju's cheek gently. "They have never judged either of us for the struggle we've had. My parents will be so excited that we are finally starting our family." Geonhak smiled, mostly to himself. "Are you worried about your family?" 

"Ever since Dongmyeong got pregnant accidentally my parents have been pushing me to tell them why we've not had babies yet. I've just... never told them we are having fertility problems. It's hard enough that the pack know and Dongmyeong but I have never said those words to my parents. They were so excited for Seri and to see how much she looked like Dongmyeong that I couldn't just be like, oh by the way, enjoy Seri because I'm unable to even make a baby with my mate. I know that's my job and everything but I guess it's just another thing I'm worse than my twin at." 

Geonhak held Dongju tighter, "our fertility problems are not your fault and we're following the best process for our family. If we could have biological children adoption would still be a good option. Adoption is the best option for us and we're going to give our child everything they need and more. I know it's hard but you need to let this go. We aren't focusing on what we can and can't do in regards to conceiving and your self-hatred about this issue isn't healthy and won't be good for the child that we do have." 

"I know." Dongju said quietly, he knew that he had to try to move on from this, but while they were lighter in their bond, it was still a thought in the back of his mind. He loved his mate and he wanted to adopt with him but he couldn't help that feeling that he was damaged. "I would never want to affect our family with that." 

"I know Sunflower, but you are my omega and when we eventually get our little one - the little one we were put on this earth to parent - you won't even remember why this was such a big thought." Geonhak said softly, "I believe that we are meant to adopt. That we are supposed to be doing this together, giving a child our love and the best life we can." 

"I want to adopt with you. I want this, I've been pressured for so long by myself - you've never pressured me - to get pregnant so even though we've stopped thinking about it and all that, the negative feelings I have from it are still there." 

"I know. I love you so much, and it hurts me to see how hurt this whole situation has made you. I never wanted to hurt you. I knew that you were in pain but I didn't know how to talk to you about our options before we started going to therapy. I'm sorry that I let us lose our way and it has ended in you being so hurt." 

"It's not as easy as just knowing it's okay. I know that you don't blame me, that we are going to adopt and Geonhak, I can't wait to adopt, to have a family with you - I know in my brain that I did nothing wrong and that we were just meant to have kids in other ways." Dongju took a slow breath, "but I can't just get rid of those thoughts from those months and months towards the end of us trying to conceive, I can't just shut it out because we've decided to adopt. It's going to take time and I know it hurts you, but it hurts me too." 

"I know Dongju, I know that we can't just decide something and all of the pain from the past will go away. I just - you shouldn't let it hold you back sharing with our families that we are making the next step in our own family." 

"I know... let's tell your parents first though." Dongju just wanted this conversation to be over, he just wanted to finish the forms and spend the evening with the man he loved without having to go over what they were going to tell people and when. He just wished that he could forget the hurt but it was easier said than done.


	6. Heal Your Heart - Geonhak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you like this chapter, enjoy reading. 
> 
> As a disclaimer going on, I don't know anything first hand about adoption, but I have done research pertaining to my own countries process and there are obviously some differences because of the way that a/b/o au's work.
> 
> Thank you for all comments, kudos and hits. You guys are the biggest inspiration to me.

Geonhak raised a brow when Giwook came in with a big bag and Seri in her carrier. "You didn't tell me you were bringing her." 

"Ah yes. This. Dongmyeong started back at work and he told me it was part time on the days the others could babysit. But he has meetings today and the others are working, I tried your pack too and they're all busy so she's had to come with me. We think she's going to start teething soon, she's suffering a little" Giwook bit his lip. "I mean the baby bible thing says teething starts at 6 months and she's only five and a half right now but sometimes she has all the symptoms." Giwook looked at Geonhak and sat down, taking Seri out of the carry case and holding her. "She'll be good today though, I promise. And we're just writing until Youngjo records and he loves her." 

"I know." Geonhak said, "but how are we going to entertain a five month old baby?" He smiled a little as he moved to take his niece into his arms holding her gently. "Are you going to be good today and let your dad and I work?" Geonhak loved spending time with Seri, even if it hurt him too - although he did not talk about it outside of the couple's therapy. "Is Dongmyeong glad to be back at work?" 

"Yeah. He loves her, but he missed work. It's just hard for us to arrange someone to have her at all time we're out." Giwook didn't take his eyes off the little girl, watching her play with Geonhak's necklaces. "Yonghoon loves having her, like he would have her every single time we need someone if he could. It's a shame that Hyungu doesn't think he's going to have kids with the way their bond is unconventional." 

Geonhak nodded, "I get it, the decision to have kids is a serious one. I mean I know with Dongju for the day we met that I was going to have kids together, but this little one was a little surprise." Geonhak grinned, making a face at Seri. "I didn't think I'd be an uncle from Dongju's side. Biologically, I thought your pack would but not Dongmyeong." 

"Same." Giwook said with a small grin, "but I have a wonderful daughter now. I'm really lucky." Giwook looked over at the music already queued for them to work on. "Dongmyeong told me that you finished the adoption forms." 

"Yeah - we filled all the stuff in and we have an interview and a home visit and some bond checks and other stuff before we can even think about the child at the end of it all. I want to give a child the love we have." 

"Have you two given up completely on biological kids?" 

"No, but it doesn't seem like it will happen, so we've decided we're not going to push it. We decided that the hurt Dongju had gone through during our journey, he is not going to be able to handle IVF, and we honestly preferred adoption to that. We talked about it and felt like it was a sign that we were supposed to give our love to a child who is seeking a bond and love." Giwook had passed over a toy for Seri to play with. Geonhak smiled at the girl watching her play. "I don't think he will ever feel whole until we have a child, he just has those instincts and love to give. I can't wait to see him with our future baby." 

"Do you know what age range you're looking at?" 

"We're hoping for younger than Seri, just because it will be easier for her - because obviously we're not pack related and our families are blood related. So she will have a cousin bond with our child, but we have to have our bond evaluated and they will find a child who's age and bond type will fit ours." Geonhak adjusted Seri on his lap, so they could look over the music. "I just love Dongju, and I know he'll be an amazing dad. I'm just worried about him." 

"Why?" 

"If you tell Dongmyeong, Dongju will kill me and then you." Geonhak said looking at Giwook. "Dongju is worried about if he fails to bond with our child. He's scared that the reason he can't get pregnant is that he isn't meant to be a parent." 

"He already told Dongmyeong, so don't worry and please, if either of the twins was meant to be a parent it's him." Giwook said with a shrug. "Dongmyeong is a good parent, but Dongju was just always meant to have kids. Dongmyeong surprised everyone by even getting pregnant." It was a little difficult to work with Seri there, she got fussy sometimes but Giwook was very good at calming the girl and looking after her. It did give Geonhak good hope, Giwook was so strongly bonded with Seri, and he knew that that could be him and Dongju, they could bond as strongly to a child that wasn't biologically theirs.

\- ☆ - 

When Geonhak got home he saw Dongju lying on his stomach on the couch in the communal area. He felt relaxed in the bond, but it was not usual to see Dongju like this. Geonhak smiled gently walking over and ruffling his mates hair, enjoying the other trying to bite his hand. "What? You're done for the day, it doesn't matter if I mess it up!" 

"I might want to go out for dinner." Dongju pouted a little, "I kinda do want to go out for dinner." Geonhak tried not to smile too brightly, Dongju had stopped wanting to go out and do fun couple stuff when they had been in a worse place, but recently it was clear that Dongju was starting to get back to how he used to be. 

"Why are you lying on the sofa? Where is everyone?" 

"Are you not feeling anyone else's pheromones?" Dongju raised a brow and Geonhak could sense the others but they weren't great but with everything going on it wasn't uncommon for Seoho to radiate hurt. "Seoho, Youngjo and Hwanwoong are arguing, so I'm lying here and radiating calm." Dongju said with a grin. Geonhak climbed over his mate and joined him on the sofa. 

"Let's radiate calm for a bit then." Geonhak smiled as they lay next to each other. Geonhak ventured a hand to cup Dongju's ass. 

"Not the mood we're going for." Dongju huffed a little, he rolled over to face Geonhak and he gave him a quick kiss. "We're going for calm not frisky. I don't think frisky is the mood they need." 

"What's going on, it's worse than normal." 

"Hwanwoong thought he might be pregnant." Dongju said softly and Geonhak instinctively worried about how Dongju was feeling but then he could feel the other still radiating calm. He wasn't stressed, "I don't... I mean, it's a secret, I guess. I don't know specifics, but Hwanwoong doesn't want children, he was really scared - I've never felt that amount of fear before and once Dongmyeong got trapped in a toilet when we were six and I refused to go get our parents." Geonhak eyed Dongju who just laughed, "Please, Giwook came for him, he was okay. But you know - yeah Hwanwoong _really_ did not want to be pregnant so he took a test in our bathroom... and I thought I'd be okay but I couldn't." Geonhak understood, he was still proud of Dongju for trying his best. "And Seoho was the only one and I had to ask him to sit with Hwanwoong because I felt too bad doing it." 

"I know Sunflower, you're just doing the best you can." 

"Well Youngjo came home, and then he got really mad and then they argued and I decided to try to make everyone calm." Dongju grinned a little kissing Geonhak again. "I don't think I'm helping much." 

"I think you're doing great." Geonhak said with a grin. "So what did you want for dinner then if you want to go out?" 

"Can we just go somewhere nice but not too fancy?" Dongju said with a little smile. "We should probably discuss what we're going to tell your parents when we go this weekend. We can do that over dinner." Dongju said rolling over to sit up. "I'll go get ready, you find us somewhere to eat." 

It didn't take them too long and as they were driving Geonhak felt the question bubble up through him, unable to hold it back. "How are you feeling, I mean, with Hwanwoong thinking he was pregnant?" 

"He wasn't." Dongju said quietly, "And I know... what it's like to really think you might be pregnant. I also know what it's like to be afraid of taking a test, and I wished I could have been there more for him, but I had to step out for my own well being. I know Seoho was probably not the best choice, but he was the only choice - I just... wish Youngjo hadn't found out the way he did." 

"Was the fight bad?" Geonhak did worry about their pack leader. "He's trying to fix the situation with Seoho." 

"... He didn't do that today, they were really going at each other. I thought Seoho was going to challenge for the pack." Geonhak was shocked to hear that. "I had forgotten he was an alpha." Dongju said quietly. "I had forgotten how strong he was, that he has always toned down to fit the pack but he wanted to protect Hwanwoong." 

"Did you think Hwanwoong needed protecting?" 

"Yes." Dongju said quietly. "He was terrified and Youngjo's alpha responses were responding in the wrong way and he did not... he wasn't, he wasn't ready to hear what Hwanwoong had to tell him." 

"Okay..." 

"Hwanwoong has a fear of pregnancy and childbirth, he was literally on the verge of tears when he asked for my help. I had forgotten that not everyone wants what we want. I found it hard at first to think that someone could have what we want but hate it... but while I was waiting for the test results in our room... I thought that it is different for everyone. That we all have different wants and needs when it comes to families, and for Hwanwoong if that test had been positive, it would have been terrifying." Dongju sighed, "Dongmyeong took his pregnancy test alone, in his work bathroom. He was afraid, he had to make the best choice for him and he was too scared of hurting me to tell me. I... I want to be more understanding of others views and it hurts but I want to try to get over it. I want to be able to be there for my twin and my pack." 

"You're doing so well Dongju, I'm really proud of how hard you're working, I'm so glad we decided to go to therapy." Geonhak said as they pulled into the car park. He lent over to kiss Dongju gently. "I am so happy that you're starting to feel better again." 

"I love you Geonhak." Dongju said moving to kiss Geonhak again. "I know I have been... difficult. We are a team. A mate bond. I need to deal with my issues and I am so glad to have you by my side when we do this." Dongju got out of the car and they went to the restaurant, it was actually one of their favourites and Dongju seemed really happy. Taking about their plans to tell Geonhak's parents, Geonhak knew Dongju felt like the alpha's parents would be more understanding of the whole situation because of the situation with his brother but Geonhak just knew that Dongju's parents would be happy for them too.

\- ☆ - 

Dongju was nervous, Geonhak could feel him through the bond. Minhyun was excitedly showing Dongju the newest toy he got. Geonhak wondered if his brother was with his new partner, but it made this easier. Geonhak's parents were fussing over them insisting on bringing them drinks while Dongju asked Minhyun questions about the new toy. Geonhak couldn't help but feel his heart swell up seeing his mate with his nephew. When Minhyun ran off to play with his new toy Dongju lent back against the sofa. "He looks like you." Dongju shifted to take Geonhak's hand in his and gave it a squeeze. "If we did an image meld of him and Seri we'd probably see what our biological kids could have been." 

"We can still." Geonhak said softly. "We are doing this and maybe one day it will all work out." 

"I love you." Dongju said squeezing the other's hand again. 

"I love you too Sunflower." Geonhak really wished he could help the other calm down, he didn't need to be this nervous. They were going to get all the love and support that Dongju was afraid he wouldn't get. When they were all sat together, Geonhak could feel the weight of his parents expectation, he knew they thought they were finally going to tell them that Dongju was pregnant. "Minhyun is growing so fast." Geonhak couldn't just jump right into it. 

"Yeah, he is." Geonhak's mother smiled a little, looking over at the door to Minhyun's room. "He is old enough to understand his bond being different with your brother than his friends in pre school." Geonhak felt Dongju tense, knowing the other was clearly thinking if they adopted their child would feel that. "You're looking well Dongju." 

Geonhak tried not to roll his eyes at his mother's obvious hint to why she thought they were there. "Mom, Dad, we want to tell you something." Dongju looked down and Geonhak hated this, hated that everyone was expecting a pregnancy and it was able to send Dongju back to the place that was ashamed of not being able to conceive. "We're in the process of adopting." Geonhak squeezed Dongju's hand. "You know we have been struggling to conceive since we got together and we decided to go the adoption route. We want kids and we have so much love to give and this feels right for us." Geonhak could see his mother's eyes on Dongju just watching him. 

"Dongju, why are you avoiding looking at us?" She spoke and Geonhak held his breath, the last thing he needed was for Dongju to get upset and push everyone away. 

"I'm sorry." He said quietly. 

"Why would you be sorry?" Geonhak's father spoke with a smile. "You just told us you two are going to be bringing another grandchild into the family. We have been hoping for you two to find your path and now we have to prepare to be grandparents for the second time. Our eldest son is going to be a dad." Geonhak had stopped listening as his mother joined them on the sofa, wrapping her arms around Dongju, who was crying. Geonhak squeezed his hand and his mother just held onto Dongju, rubbing his back. 

"Dongju, Sweetheart, please don't cry." His mother spoke softly. "I don't know why you're so upset. Today is a happy day." Geonhak was so thankful for his mother and father, they were so loving and accepting. His mother just held him closer, rubbing Dongju's back and soothing him. "I know you've felt a lot of pressure to get pregnant, but you two adopting is the best thing we heard, you are going to be wonderful parents." 

"Thanks mom." Geonhak said softly. "we are still early in the process but we wanted to tell you as soon as we could so you knew where we are and what we're planning on doing." His mother was still holding Dongju who had stopped crying now. 

"I'm sorry." Dongju said softly. 

"Sunflower." Geonhak said quietly, not sure how to talk his mate out of this spiral. "Do you want to tell my parents what the adoption service said?" 

"They said there is a shortage of adoptive parents in the city, so once we're cleared to adopt it should be quicker for us to meet our child, she seemed really hopeful we could find a child that would suit our bond." 

"I hope we don't keep your child waiting too long." Geonhak's mother said, her arms still around Dongju. Geonhak could feel his mom radiating love and happiness and it was keeping Dongju calm, it was helping him and Geonhak couldn't help the spike of envy, he was never able to calm Dongju down like that. "You two have a really nice bond, something I imagine children would find easy to bond with you two." Dongju lent against Geonhak's mom and nodded. "Dongju," She said softly, "are you feeling better? I know you felt a lot of pressure to get pregnant but we have never cared about how our grandkids come into the world, we are just excited to see them, we are excited to meet them and give them love. Don't think less of yourself because you have been unable to conceive. You wouldn't think less of the little one you two are going to adopt." 

"No. They're going to be my baby." Dongju said defensively. Geonhak gave his hand a squeeze. 

"Exactly. So you shouldn't think any less of yourself because of how you and Geonhak have made your family." Dongju nodded, "You two shouldn't have let the pressure get this much on you. I could feel how scared you were. We were never going to reject you, and we are never going to reject our grandchild." 

"We're really happy that you two have decided to adopt." Geonhak's father spoke, "we don't care how they come into our family, as long as you two are happy." 

Dongju squeezed Geonhak's hand. "Geonhak has been so amazing, when I told him I thought we should adopt he was right there with me." Dongju smiled at his mate and Geonhak nodded, he was always on the same side as Dongju but part of him was unsure of Dongju's feelings. He hadn't expected him to cry, not in front of parents like that. 

They got home and Geonhak wanted to talk to his mate, to ask him about what had happened. He ended up waiting until the evening when Dongju was sat taking off his makeup, Geonhak sat on the bed watching him. "Dongju... I have to ask about today. I thought you were ready to adopt. If you aren't ready you can tell me." 

Dongju put down the makeup wipe and turned to look at Geonhak. "I am. I want a baby with you. I felt hopeful for the first time in our fertility journey that we would start our family, but today... it's hard for me to tell our parents. You know your parents were expecting us to say we were pregnant. Everyone else is fine, but our parents. They're the people who are expecting me to get pregnant." 

"My family are not like that. Sure they've wanted you to get pregnant but that was because it was what we wanted." 

"I just felt a bit overwhelmed today. Telling our pack, coworkers, other friends and Dongmyeong was easier, but I was afraid your parents would think I wasn't good enough for you. I love you so much, and I want our family, it was just all that pressure finally being released." 

"And you're okay?" 

"I'm more than okay Geonhak, I'm happy. Your parents are going to be excited about our kid. I am so happy." Dongju grinned, he finished taking his makeup off and got up, coming over to the bed and giving Geonhak a romantic kiss as he joined him in the bed. "We're going to make a family. I just feel so lucky." 

"We are very lucky." Geonhak wrapped his arms around Dongju. "Are we radiating happiness tonight?" Geonhak grinned. 

"Yes. I don't think I could hold back my pheromones if I tried." Geonhak grinned, kissing Dongju quickly. It was nice to see Dongju so happy, to be feeling content in the bond. Geonhak knew they would talk about when they'd see Dongju's parents and the fear of rejection would seep back into the omega, but for tonight he just wanted to enjoy this, enjoy their happiness and excitement for the future.


	7. Lost Not Always Found - Dongju

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay~ The conversation between Youngjo and Dongju relates to the argument that happens in chapter 3 of Lately. But if you haven't/don't want to read it I think it should be okay to read with out that
> 
> Thank you for the comments, kudos and hits, you guys are my inspiration

Things were hard in the pack, Hwanwoong had slept in Keonhee's room for a few nights and the other two alpha's were radiating distress too. It was making Dongju nervous about the meetings they had coming up for the adoption. He was unable to sleep, they had an interview the next day, but how could they say they had a stable pack when it was like this. He slipped out of the bed admiring his alpha one more time, the moonlight that peaked through the curtains bathed Geonhak in a pale glow that made him look heavenly. Dongju pulled on his own trackpants and one of Geonhak's shirts, he sighed when he walked into the communal areas and saw Youngjo. Youngjo looked at him and raised a brow. "Let me guess, you also hate me?" 

"No one hates you." Dongju said flatly. "I just have no time for alpha bullshit." Dongju looked at him, "but just so you're all aware, the adoption agency is going to take our pack stability into account and if you guys can't sort your drama out and ruin it for us, we will leave this pack and I will join my twins." 

"Does Geonhak knows this?" 

"I will leave, and he wants our family just as much." Dongju knew Youngjo was surprised, he'd never seen Dongju putting his foot down like this. "Also you're being ridiculous. You accused Hwanwoong of sleeping with Seoho, and when he tried to explain to you why he was so scared you threw it in his face. You don't deserve a mate if you can't try to understand and treat them well." 

"Geonhak has already talked to me about Hwanwoong." 

"I know what my mate would have said to you, and yet he's still sleeping with Keonhee so clearly you didn't listen to Geonhak. You might think he has no idea what he's talking about, but dealing with your omega's pain is part of being mated, just like omega's deal with our alpha's insecurities and suffering. You are a mated pair, which means you're supposed to be a team and support each other, you're supposed to love each other and work together no matter what." 

"If Geonhak didn't want to have kids-" 

"That's not what this is." Dongju rolled his eyes, "you haven't listened to what Hwanwoong told you at all. Hwanwoong has a condition that means he really _believes_ he will die if he was pregnant or gave birth, and that has him terrified. It's not a choice, he hasn't chosen to feel this way but he does and you just invalidated his fear, his feelings, all the things he had felt like he couldn't tell anyone because of what people say. You have had experience with people invalidating your feelings when you were with Seoho, I told him you'd understand, so I'm sorry that I led him to believe you were a better alpha than you are." 

"Dongju." Youngjo looked at him. "Are you quite done?" 

"I know alpha's hate it when omega's stand up to them, but you brought this on yourself. I stayed out of this at first but Youngjo - what are you doing?" 

"I wish I could answer that." 

"Look - I know I'm coming across harshly, but our pack needs to be deemed as a safe place for a child so it's not just the issue that is bothering me. Also, I'm on Hwanwoong's side." He shrugged. "I think you need to talk to him about his fear, you need to try to understand. Google tokophobia. He's not broken or damaged, there is nothing wrong with him, it is just different."

\- ☆ - 

They were sat in the restaurant, Dongju felt good about the interview and Geonhak looked up from his samgyetang. "Youngjo told me you argued with him last night." Dongju shrugged eyes down on his plate, pushing the food around as he tried to come up with what would be the least reactive statement. "You told him we would leave the pack, Dongju - you can't make those choices without me." 

"If him being unable to make a choice and stick to it, and his inability to listen stops us from passing on pack stability, you would expect me to be able to live with them still?" Dongju said looking up, glaring at Geonhak. "Do you want to fuck him too? Does he have some weird fucking thing that makes him irresistible to everyone?" 

"Dongju. Of course I'm not attracted to Youngjo. I grew up with him and he is a good pack leader, the Seoho thing is... unfortunate and the fight with Hwanwoong will blow over. He would never do anything to limit our chances of having a family." 

"If they say our pack isn't stable, I am leaving the pack." Dongju said flatly. "And you can join me or we can sever." 

"Son Dongju." Geonhak kept his eyes on Dongju. "Don't threaten me." 

"I'm not. I'm just telling you what will happen." Dongju kept his eyes on Geonhak. "And you proved you don't believe what you just said about Youngjo that that was a threat. If you were certain that he would not risk our chance of approval you wouldn't feel threatened about me saying I'll leave." 

"Threatening me gets you no where Dongju." 

"I will not stay in a pack if they are the cause of a rejection for adoption." Dongju put his utensils down. "I guess we'd find out if it's you that's the problem in us conceiving if we sever." He'd said it to hurt, but had regretted it instantly. Dongju was sure it was him to start with, but he should never have said that to his mate. He shouldn't lash out at Geonhak because he was scared, this was something they were supposed to have been working on and here he was doing the worst possible thing. He could see Geonhak watching him before the other called over the waiter to ask for the food to be boxed up. The drive home was quiet and awkward. "Geonhak." Dongju said quietly as they pulled up when they got home. "I didn't mean-" 

"You can't just say the most hurtful thing you can think of and expect me to just take it Dongju. If I'd said that to you what would you have done." 

"I know. I'm sorry." Dongju looked at his hands. "I just- I was just-" 

"I'm sorry you're sorry." Geonhak said pressing the button to unlock the car. "I'm going to go to the studio." 

"But you don't have work." 

"Yes, well I don't want to be at home, so I'm going to go to work." 

"Are you going to tell Giwook?" 

"Worried that your twin will find out what you said to me?" Geonhak turned to look at Dongju. "Dongju, I'm not going to argue with you, but I'm also not just going to let you talk to me like that. We will talk about it when I get home and both of us have had time to calm down and can talk about it like adults. It wasn't me who didn't want to find out which one of us was the problem." 

"Geonhak" 

"Just get out of the car Dongju, I'll be home at the usual time."

\- ☆ - 

Dongju took a small breath, Geonhak was sat next to him and had taken his hand in his. "Dongju, I understand that you didn't mean what you said but you have this defense mechanism where you say the most hurtful thing you can think of when you feel rejected. It's sometimes like you want me to reject you." 

"No!" Dongju squeezed Geonhak's hand.

"I know deep down that's your biggest fear. But you keep lashing out at me." 

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

"I know Sunflower." Dongju felt hopeful when the other used his nickname. "I think we should talk to Hyewon about you getting one-to-one therapy because we need to help you." Geonhak squeezed Dongju's hand. "I love you Dongju but we're a team, but when we get through this adoption process, I want to bring a child into a healthy bond - our bond is great. We just need to deal with your pain. I know it's not your fault, but I want us to live a healthy and happy life and I think-" 

"I know." Dongju looked at their hands. "I know, I need help to process some of these feelings. I know I lash out and it's always at you, and today, I just felt like you... I wasn't wrong about Youngjo, but I shouldn't have said what I said to you." 

"I don't want to leave this pack Dongju, but if I honestly believed that this pack was going to be an impediment to our adoption, I would leave. I would leave without question, but you can't threaten Youngjo. I would never ask you to do anything that would increase how much pain you're in, but you're stressed and scared and this fight is an easy target for your adoption fears." 

"Geonhak." Dongju said quietly, but he knew the other was right, he knew the other loved him and wanted to look after him and was going to do so. Dongju nodded, "I want to do it, to get help to become a better person and mate and eventually when we have children to be the best dad I can be." 

Things settled down, Dongju had signed up for individual therapy and after his first few meetings had gotten back into the car with Geonhak and was emotionally exhausted. Dongju spent a lot of it crying, but felt good, he was working on trying to understand his own actions more and he knew that in the long run it would make it better for his bond and the child they would eventually have. Dongju did wonder if his fertility problems would ever stop hurting his heart, but he did know that he was more than capable of loving a child - he knew that when he held his child in his arms, that he would love them. He just had to get there without driving Geonhak away from him. 

They had agreed they would tell Dongju's parents that weekend and Dongju was pretty sure that it was not going to go as well as Geonhak's parents. It was harder because he'd never told his parents the extent of the problems him and Geonhak were having, he had told them that they were trying for a baby and that was it. He just didn't want to go, and telling them would mean owning up to everything and that was something Dongju just wasn't sure he wanted to do. He woke up and smiled up at the alpha he had been resting against. 

Dongju gently pressed kisses along Geonhak's jaw, smiling when the alpha moved to cup his ass. He kept his kisses going, Geonhak mumbling something about this being an interesting way to wake themselves up. Dongju shifted easily, knees either side of Geonhak's hips, kissing Geonhak's lips softly, allowing his hips to roll down against Geonhak's. "You love waking up like this." 

"Mhm I do." Geonhak said leaning up to kiss Dongju gently. "But I do know what you're trying to do Son Dongju." 

"I'm trying to make out with my very sexy alpha." 

"You want to avoid going to your parents, so you're trying to make us late by drawing me into sex." Geonhak said, arm around Dongju's waist, kissing him again deeply. "We need to get out of bed." 

"But..." Dongju pouted a little. "Maybe I'm just horny." 

"I'm sure you are." Geonhak mumbled, pressing a kiss to Dongju's pout, "but I also know you're using sex to avoid your parents." 

"I can take care of myself in the shower then." Dongju huffed, and Geonhak shook his head, hands on Dongju's thighs. 

"I didn't say it wasn't working." 

They were late leaving the house, but not quite as late as Dongju had hoped they might be. He debated complaining that he was sore but Geonhak had been gentle with him, going for soft and romantic probably to keep them both quiet and not wake the others. It was a decent drive to his parents and Dongju just fell asleep in the car, he was too nervous to just stay awake and hope for the best. 

Dongju was nervous, telling his parents was the part he was least looking forward to. With Geonhak's parents he'd been nervous and then felt completely overwhelmed. Now he was nervous but in a different way, he was sat on the sofa holding Geonhak's hand tightly. Geonhak pressed a quick kiss to his cheek - trying to keep him calm. Dongju felt better with him here, but he was also aware of his parents were in the other room and were going to come in and expect news. "They think I'm pregnant." Dongju said quietly. "They're going to be so disappointed." 

"Dongju, we can't decide their feelings before we've told them." Geonhak said softly. "They're going to be happy about our plans for a baby." 

Dongju tried not to roll his eyes when his mom handed him a decaf coffee. He stared at the cup, he could feel Geonhak trying to work him out. "Mom, Dad, we need to tell you something." Dongju said putting the cup down. "Geonhak and I have decided that we're going to adopt." He didn't stop for them to give a comment. "I know you were expecting us to get pregnant and for the whole time I've been bonded to Geonhak we've been giving you excuse after excuse and then Dongmyeong got pregnant and I know you were expecting me to follow suit. But the truth is that we have been trying since we mated and it turns out that there is just something completely messed up with me and I am unable to get pregnant, we haven't gotten that confirmed but we have been doing fertility treatments and now we are sort of at a time in our lives where we have decided that a family is more important than creating babies in the biological way, we have found an agency and then we just had our first interview which we were told that we passed." Dongju stopped but didn't look at anyone, knowing that with his run on sentences it would take everyone a second to get up. 

"So you two are adopting?" Dongju's mother spoke first, Geonhak had his hand tightly in Dongju's. 

"Yes." Geonhak spoke, Dongju assumed to stop him just saying the whole thing in one run on sentence again. "We decided that it was the best course for our family." 

"You never told us you were having fertility treatments, you just told us you two were trying." Dongju's dad said as if he was approaching a wild animal, his family knew he could lash out, but part of him just wanted to shout, you could have worked it out. 

"We were." Geonhak answered, "and we kept our fertility struggles private, it has been hard for both of us to process that we have been unable to conceive, we have done everything we could to do this naturally, but it was very difficult for us to endure the months of trying and failing. We also found out that there was a shortage of adoptive families in the city and we have more than enough love to give a child, so if we can help and provide a child with a loving home, why wouldn't we?" 

"Is this really what you want Dongju?" His mom spoke and Dongju finally looked at his parents and glared. 

"Of course this is what I want. I've always wanted a baby with Geonhak and we want to start a family. This is our best option and-" 

"We discussed all of our options." Geonhak interrupted, he was calm and Dongju knew he'd been getting frustrated. "We understand that as you weren't aware of our struggle this news has come out of the blue, but we are certain and this is already something that has made us happier."

"When will know when we are getting a new grandchild?" Dongju's father asked, and Dongju let Geonhak answer. He wasn't entirely convinced that his parents were completely on board, but Geonhak's arm around him was making him feel safe. He knew that his parents would eventually come around completely and be as excited as Geonhak's parents, it was just something new to them. Geonhak explained to them the process and all the steps they were going to go through, he also explained that they had not given up on biological children but that for now it was no a very likely outcome. 

On the way home Dongju was quiet, he just wanted to be at home with Geonhak, he knew deep down that his parents would understand, unlike Geonhak's parents they had not been aware of the issues they were having. He knew Geonhak would probably want to talk to him about it, so without prompting Dongju decided to start the conversation. "I didn't tell my parents we were struggling to have a baby because at first I just thought it would happen if we wanted it enough and then I just couldn't find a way to tell them they weren't going to have grandchildren because Dongmyeong didn't want pups and we were struggling." Dongju paused, "and then Dongmyeong got pregnant and it was just even harder to tell them, because then I was the only child who let them down." 

"You didn't let anyone down Dongju. One day we might have biological children and our adoption is going to bring a baby into our family." 

"I know - I am so ready to find our child and raise them in our loving bond." Dongju smiled to himself. "I'm glad we've told everyone now, and we can just focus on getting our child to us." 

"I love you." Geonhak spoke softly. "I'm proud of you too Dongju, I know that was hard for you." 

"I love you too Geonhak."


	8. Got Me In My Feelings - Geonhak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't mean for this chapter to be so dramatic, but apparently these boys decided that was what was going to happen. Also I'm really sorry to Youngjo who isn't coming across as the best guy in this verse but he isn't as bad as he seems ;; 
> 
> thank you so much for the comments, kudos and hit. You guys keep me going!

Geonhak came home and he could feel Dongju before he even entered, going straight to their room and finding the other under the blanket. He got in and wrapped his arms around Dongju, holding him close. "Sunflower, I'm here." Geonhak said softly, annoyed that his partner had not called him or texted him earlier and instead, he had come home and just been surprised by it. He was also irritated, because he knew both Seoho and Youngjo were home - and one of them should have given him a heads up. They should have told him that his mate was upset. Keonhee couldn't sense it - and Hwanwoong was out avoiding Youngjo still. Dongju didn't say anything but he did move to hold one of Geonhak's hands, he made no move to get out of the hold that Geonhak had him in. "We don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to. We can just cuddle." He said softly, trying to coax the other into saying something, anything to him. 

"Don't be angry at Seoho and Youngjo." Dongju said quietly, Geonhak hated how the tears coloured Dongju's voice. 

"No one told me you were upset. I would have left work early. We were just mixing, it wasn't important." Geonhak hated that Dongju didn't tell him, and he knew it was because Dongju didn't want to bother him at work. Geonhak had left on multiple occasions because Dongju was upset, usually after failed tests, but sometimes for other reasons. Dongju could feel emotions quite strongly and when he was hurting it radiated through their bond. "Did one of them make you cry?" No response. "Was it Youngjo." 

"Geonhak." Before Dongju could continue Geonhak had gotten out of the bed and was storming through the apartment, it was Seoho who came out of his room moving to grab Geonhak and try to stop him. 

"Geonhak, you need to calm down." 

"No, Seoho, you don't get to tell me what to do." Geonhak couldn't calm himself down. 

"It wasn't just Youngjo-" 

"I don't care what Dongju did or said. Youngjo was supposed to be our leader! I grew up with him and he makes my mate cry and doesn't even bother to tell me about it." Geonhak pushed against Seoho harder. "Let me go Seoho." 

"You know I can't." Seoho said calmly, "You're going to do something you regret." 

"I'm not going to kill him Seoho." Geonhak glared. "Unless what he said or did warrants it." 

"It was just a comment, it was not meant to hurt as deeply as it did." Seoho said still struggling. Geonhak knew Youngjo could hear this and yet was staying in his room which only made it worse. 

"He said, I needed to stay out of his issue with Hwanwoong because what would I know about being pregnant or having to worry about childbirth." Geonhak turned to see Dongju standing there, tear stained face - his makeup had run, and he just looked so hurt. "I want to go to Dongmyeong's, will you drive me?" Geonhak knew omega's sought comfort from other omegas sometimes and Dongmyeong's pack had two, he also understood that Hwanwoong had left because of this fight. 

"Okay." Geonhak said softly. "I just need to talk to Youngjo." 

"Just leave it." Dongju said wiping his own tears. "He was right." Geonhak felt himself growing more angry shoving Seoho harder. 

"When I get back we're talking about this. And before you say anything, if he refuses, Dongju and I are leaving the pack. No one - not even our pack leader gets to disrespect my mate, and then hide in his room because he knew I'd find out." 

The drive was quiet Dongju was no longer crying but Geonhak could feel the hurt. Dongju had texted Dongmyeong so Geonhak felt a little better about it but still, he worried. "I hurt him first." Dongju said and Geonhak said nothing. "He was arguing with Hwanwoong about his issues with pregnancy and I told him he needed to back off, because he can't be as heavy handed as he was with Seoho because you can't just shout at an omega and it just go through. I was defensive and I can't stand people not respecting decisions people make about their own body and life and he just said that because I had touched a nerve." 

"He should never have said it. I don't care what you said to him, that comment was never justified." Geonhak pulled up outside the apartment block that Dongmyeong's pack lived in. "Dongju, Sunflower, do you want to leave the pack?" 

"You grew up with Youngjo." 

"I know. But I told you if it was ever the best thing for us that we would leave." 

Dongju moved to take the other's hand. He moved to press a kiss to Geonhak's lips and then gave him a smile. "I just need some time with my twin, I know you're worried but it's okay." 

"It's not okay Dongju." 

"No. It's okay. What would I know about worrying about that, we can't get pregnant." Dongju sighed. "I shouldn't have pushed him and not everyone is you." Dongju gave him a little smile. "I am lucky you understand me but Youngjo probably felt attacked." 

"Dongju, it's still not-" 

"We're a pack... even when we don't like each other very much." Dongju shifted to kiss Geonhak again. "Come get me tomorrow morning?" Even if he didn't want to talk to Youngjo he would not be staying - there wasn't really enough room and Dongju needed his twin and Hyungu for the comfort of just an omega. 

"Text me as soon as you want me to get you." Geonhak said softly. "Or if you want to come back whenever." 

When Geonhak got back home Youngjo was already out. He eyed his best friend, the person he trusted second only to his mate. "What you said is fucked up." Geonhak said before Youngjo could say anything. "I really don't care what he said because even if he said something just as bad you should have had more respect as a pack leader and my best friend than to bring up our fertility problems. You know how much it has affected us, we were falling apart and if we hadn't stopped actively trying and doing treatments when we did, I don't know if we'd make it. You know how much pain not being able to conceive has put Dongju in. You shouldn't have said it. You should have also told me before I got in that he was crying and why." 

"He was upset before I said anything." Youngjo said flatly and Geonhak understood now why Dongju had been pushing Youngjo. There was something else going on. "I just wanted him to back off. How I deal with Hwanwoong is our business." 

"You don't get him to back off by hurting him the most. It's not the who can cause the most pain olympics." Geonhak glared at his pack leader "He's just protecting another omega. You and Hwanwoong are not seeing eye to eye and I think you're focused on the wrong thing. The way he feels about pregnancy isn't about you. You can't change him." 

"I want children." Youngjo said "you should understand" 

"Hyung. There are other ways. You need to accept Hwanwoong for who he is. Or you need to sever." Geonhak just shook his head. "But if you ever make Dongju cry like that again, if you ever bring up our fertility issues to hurt him. We will leave the pack because that should never be a thing to insult him with. I don't want to hear any one in this pack speaking about our fertility. That is an issue for the both of us and is not something that any of you guys get to comment on."

\- ☆ - 

Dongmyeong pulled Geonhak aside when he went to pick up Dongju. "If this is about Youngjo I've already handled it-" 

"No. Not about that I had assumed you had that one covered." Dongmyeong said and Geonhak knew the other was trying not to roll his eyes. "I want to talk about something to do with Dongju." 

"Okay." Geonhak looked at Dongmyeong. 

"He's just a little raw at the moment." 

"Oh I'd noticed." Geonhak wondered if Dongmyeong was going to get to the point or just continue to be vague. 

"He smells different."

"I know what you're suggesting but he's not." 

"How can you be certain?" Dongmyeong eyed Geonhak. 

"He's not pregnant and I'm not going to ask him to take a test." Geonhak knew Dongmyeong was asking him because he didn't want to be wrong and be the one who Dongju felt the most hurt by. "Dongmyeong I know his scent. He's been continuously distressed for over a year and he is also now starting to open back up again from that pain. Also he's come off all of the fertility treatments so his scent is actually returning to normal. His scent change is not a pregnancy." 

"Maybe you're right." Dongmyeong sighed, "I think he's also opening your bond without being completely aware of it." This made Geonhak smile a little, the omega was opening their bond, ready for their child. "He's hurting still though Geonhak." 

"I know Dongmyeong." 

"I just don't know if we can help him." Dongmyeong shifted uneasily. "Sometimes I see him looking at Seri-" 

"She just looks so much like you, he can't help but imagine his own babies." Geonhak said softly. "He won't let her know about his pain, he's just struggling but it will get better. I know it's inconvenient-" 

"My brother's pain isn't inconvenient, I just don't know what to do." Dongmyeong lent against the wall. "I'm his big brother, I'm supposed to look out for him." 

"How do you think I feel? It's my literal job to look after him." Geonhak shook his head. "It's not your fault that Seri is painful for him, you and Giwook deserve a loving family, plus she is exceptionally cute." 

"You wouldn't be saying that if you were looking after her." Dongmyeong said light-heartedly. "I love my daughter but she's just so difficult to get to sleep. Unless it's Giwook and I've been trying for over an hour and I'm about to cry, he'll just swoop in and be like 'Oh Seri, is it bed time?' and she goes to sleep as if she's literally just been messing with me."

\- ☆ - 

In the car home, Dongju was still quiet. Geonhak wondered if there was really anything else he could do to help him. When they got in Dongju and Youngjo ended up having a talk and Geonhak stayed out of it. He had promised Youngjo that he would allow him to make amends, but he could feel Dongju not feeling stressed about it. Dongju came into their room after and pulled Geonhak down to their bed. "I just need some time with you." He said softly, curling up into Geonhak. 

"Dongmyeong told me he could feel our bond was opening" Geonhak said softly. "I love that our bond knows we're going to be adding a little one." 

"Me too." Dongju smiled, pulling Geonhak for a soft kiss. 

"Will you tell me why you got into a fight with Youngjo. I could feel... you were on edge." Geonhak said softly, finger gently tracing over the bite mark at the base of Dongju's neck. "Or at least... are you talking to Hyewon about it." 

"I have talked to her about it... It's just stuff with the adoption." Dongju said quietly. "I thought that as we got further in the process it would be easier. Not the process, but I thought that as we got closer to our family, I would stop feeling-" Dongju looked down and just pressed himself against Geonhak. The alpha understood, it was hard for Dongju to carry on, to say things that could be misunderstood. Geonhak wrapped his arms around the man tighter. 

"I know Sunflower, I get it, I feel the same. It still hurts that we have been unable to have a baby naturally, but we are going to have a family and I know it won't change how much you love our baby. We just have that hurt still, we can't get rid of it overnight." Geonhak gently rubbed Dongju's back. "It will be different when he have our little one here." 

"What if it's not? What if I can't-" 

"Dongju, you are so full of love. You're meant to be a father, you're going to be able to love him or her." 

"I just am scared that if I can't overcome this pain that our kid will feel bad." 

"No Sunflower, even if it takes a bit longer for you to accept the limits of our bodies, our child is going to know we wanted them so much, we will love them and give them the best life we can and you know that."

\- ☆ - 

Geonhak was nervous, they were having the pack evaluation today and Hwanwoong and Youngjo were pulling it together - but it was still obvious that they were not as strong together as they should be. Dongju had been so stressed and on edge the week leading up to that day, although they had been trying to do their best to manage Dongju's stress level so he didn't end up causing a huge fight with anyone. Dongju was dressed nicely, he'd made everyone dress up and had even tried to put makeup on everyone. Youngjo had found the housing they were moving into so the information for that was on the table. Dongju could barely stop shaking he was so nervous, and the tension that still existed between Hwanwoong and Youngjo was making him anxious. 

The woman was nice and she listened to everything they had to say about the houses that they were moving to, and the history of the pack - with the exclusion of the whole Seoho and Youngjo drama. Dongju spent the whole time holding onto Geonhak's hand so tightly that Geonhak thought he might lose the circulation in his hand. The woman was radiating calm, but she did speak to the other pack members separately, trying to gauge not only the pack but also Dongju and Geonhak, while they waited for the others to finish Dongju paced in their room. "Sunflower, you need to calm down. She's just checking we're a good mated pair for a child." 

"Geonhak." Dongju said quietly. "Hwanwoong and Youngjo had another fight last night." 

"They are working on their relationship - they are working on it all okay? Couple's fight and the agency know that, we don't fail the test because they're feeling a little bit tense. They didn't even have a big fight." 

"I asked them to _please_ not do it the day before our interview." Dongju was hurt, and Geonhak knew it was the stress, there was no way their pack had done it on purpose. "I just really wanted today to be perfect." 

"Pack bonds are never perfect Dongju." Geonhak said softly, getting up and wrapping his arms around the other, kissing the top of his head. "Sunflower, you have to accept that it's never going to be perfect, but they will see we're a real pack, a pack who loves each other and works out our problems together. They aren't so tense that it feels like there will be a pack fissure and Seoho doesn't even feel stressed today." 

"He told me that he was going to ignore it, that he was focusing on helping us." Dongju said with a small smile, "and Keonhee is behind us as well... it is just Youngjo and Hwanwoong who-" 

"We're not doing this." Geonhak said gently, "We're not going to worry about this anymore." 

It wasn't long after that the woman came to speak to them. "Thank you for your time, we will get back to you soon with the results of the meeting. If you haven't heard within a week, please contact the agency."


	9. I can't wait to meet you - Dongju

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I took such a long time to update this fic :< I just completely lost my muse for it when I got really ill. 
> 
> There is explicit sex at the start of this chapter. 
> 
> I also did make a twitter, it will be linked from now on at the bottom of my chapters, [Follow Me Here](https://twitter.com/KK_Moonbeam) if you want to chat~
> 
> Thank you so much for the kudos, comments and just hits, you guys are the best <3

Dongju couldn't believe what he had heard on the phone, they had passed their pack inspection, they were going to be fathers. The only step left was going to be their bond evaluation which they would get an email about in the coming days. They were going to be dads and that was all he could think of, their bond was euphoria on both ends and as soon as Geonhak had hung up the phone they had kissed, kissing while taking each other out of their clothing, it was hard to believe that something to wonderful could be happening to them after all this time. They had endured their hardships for so long and now here they were. 

Geonhak was gentle when he lay Dongju on his back, kissing him again as he pressed their hips together. Dongju gasped up against his partners lips. He shuddered as Geonhak moved down his body kissing everything he could on his way down. Dongju's hand in the alpha's hair giving it small tugs. Dongju knew it was just them in the apartment and he could be as loud as he wanted - and he wanted to be _loud_. He really wanted to be loud, he wanted Geonhak to know exactly how good it felt. 

Geonhak was so gentle with him, Dongju's ran his hand through Geonhak's hair as the other kissed over his naval. "I love you." Dongju breathed out, looking down at Geonhak, who had stopped and looked back up at him. 

"I love you too Dongju. I love you so much." Geonhak said going back to the kisses, having Dongju shift under him, toes curling slightly in pleasure. Geonhak hadn't worshipped him like this in so long, Geonhak could take his time, kissing over every single mark, every park. He kissed over Dongju's hip bones, hand gently teasing up Dongju's dick. Dongju shuddered, moaning out against the other's teasing, he hated teasing - but he loved the teasing. Geonhak had moved kissing up Dongju's dick gently. 

"Babe." Dongju breathed out, he was already slick, and Geonhak knew how to work him up - the same way he always worked him up. Geonhak gently was opening him with his fingers, going intentionally slow. Dongju moved to pull Geonhak for a kiss, his hand slipping between them to stroke the alpha. Geonhak moaned against his lips and Dongju couldn't help the sounds he was making against the other. 

Going slow was sometimes frustrating, but right now it was glorious, they were kissing - Geonhak was only up to two fingers in Dongju, the omega now biting down on his shoulder as he stroked the alpha. Geonhak's sounds were glorious, Dongju could not believe how lucky he was to have an alpha like the man he was with, a man who looked after him, let him bite him and always treated him in the way Dongju could never imagine being treated. 

The happiness in their bond was only amplifying their feelings, Dongju hook a leg around Geonhak. "I'm ready." He breathed out, gasping when Geonhak pushed into him, replacing his fingers. Dongju couldn't help himself but to bite Geonhak as he adjusted, moaning against the man's skin. Geonhak shifted them slightly so they were in a more comfortable position as he moved into the man. Dongju's breath caught as they moved together, legs hooking around Geonhak, moaning louder as they built up their feelings together. 

Dongju wasn't sure if he'd ever felt this loved before, they were always loving, they knew each other was loved but this was something else. Dongju could literally feel their bond between them, he shifted so he could bare his neck for Geonhak. Geonhak bit over their bond, and it felt so good, Dongju's hands digging into the other man, he didn't care if he left marks, he didn't care if the whole city heard how good Geonhak was making him feel. He just needed this moment. 

Geonhak knotted him, both of them finishing close together, sharing gentle kisses as they both came down from their highs. It was different. They just felt so connected, in a way they had not felt for a long time, if ever. Dongju tried not to complain when Geonhak's knot deflated and the alpha pulled out, cleaning them both gently before lying next to him, still sharing soft kisses.

Dongju lent over Geonhak and grabbed his phone, texting his twin quickly to tell him the news, knowing that Giwook would have already told him that Geonhak left early for them to find out about the adoption. He eyed Geonhak who was running his fingers down the small of his back. "Geonhak." Dongju spoke softly, not annoyed, and their bond was just blissful currently, they were happy, happiness that was not tinged with anything else. "You know Dongmyeong is going to text back." 

"And?" Geonhak mumbled, fingers now splayed over one side of Dongju's ass, Dongju eyed him carefully. This was like them before they had become so fixated on having a baby. They used to struggle to keep their hands off each other. "Just tell him the next step is the bond check and we're _strengthening_ our bond." 

"Geonhak." 

"What? He knows plenty about making strong bonds." Geonhak said, giving Dongju's ass a gentle squeeze. 

"You talk to Giwook about his sex life?" 

"Don't need to, Dongmyeong is very... _territorial_ " Dongju crinkled his nose and then noticed his own bites over Geonhak's chest. 

"It's weird for you to say that while your hand is literally squeezing my ass." Dongju said shifting slightly when the phone tone chimed. He glared when his ass was squeezed harder. "Geonhak, let me send this text and I'll give you all the attention you need." He quickly tapped at his phone and then moved, leg hooking around Geonhak's hip as he rolled back onto his side. He pulled Geonhak in for a kiss, "We do have a lot of things to celebrate." He said between kisses, trying not to make a comment when Geonhak grinned against him.

\- ☆ - 

Dongju whined when he checked his phone to see the messages from the others.

 **Keonhee:** If you value your sanity don't go home. I won't name names but if you want to have _loud_ sex can you please not do it when I get off from work. 

**Seoho:** Noted. 

**Youngjo:** Well I think it's clear who it is... There are only 2 people who haven't read this message. 

**Hwanwoong:** Unless it's Keonhee and his not boyfriend and Keonhee is tricking us all. 

**Keonhee:** I have been traumatised!!! 

**Dongju:** It wasn't that bad. We're done if you guys were all avoiding our apartment. I can't help it if Geonhak is that good in bed. :p 

**Seoho:** open the windows. 

**Dongju:** Already have done. We're clean and everything, you guys can come home, we're going out... there is something I really want to buy.

\- ☆ - 

Dongju smiled at Geonhak holding his hand as they looked over at the plushies in the children's shop. "Which one do you think?" Geonhak said softly, pressing the gentlest kiss against Dongju's temple. Dongju knew that Geonhak was going to let him pick - he knew that from the second he'd suggested they buy a plushie now. Dongju was about ninety percent sure that he was going to chose the sea horse, it was the one his eyes kept being drawn to. He looked up when a staff member came over.

"Can I help you both?" 

"Ah we're just trying to pick one for our future child." Dongju smiled at her. 

"When are you due? We have some really good products for expectant omegas as well." Geonhak's hand squeezed his, but Dongju was surprised to find he didn't feel upset or angry at the question, he understood why she asked it, and it was something that he would probably have to explain for most of his life. 

"Ah no, we're adopting." Dongju said with a grin. "We just wanted to get something for them so that when we secure the adoption we can give it to the child and they will have something of us to bring into our home." He lent a little on Geonhak. "It will help them feel safe with our scents." 

"Oh. I-" 

"Don't worry." Dongju smiled, reaching to pick up the seahorse. "I understand why you assumed it, but we're adopting and we'll just take this." When they left the shop Dongju laughed when he was pulled into a kiss, Geonhak holding him close when they parted. "What?" Dongju smiled, he felt light-hearted and was just so happy to be with him and glad they had a plushie for their little one. 

"I'm just- you sound and feel so happy." 

"I am." Dongju kept his arms around Geonhak. "I am so happy." 

"Sunflower. I've not felt you this happy for so long." Geonhak held him a little tighter. "I was a little worried when the staff asked that it would hurt you." 

"Nothing can upset me, knowing that we're going to have a little one. One day." Dongju held his partner tighter. "I still feel a bit sad for not being able to give you the usual experience but we're going to have a family and that's all that matters." Dongju knew that his alpha had been suffering, this whole time, he knew that Geonhak had been worrying almost the whole time, unable to focus on his feelings because he was too busy trying to keep Dongju happy. "I'm sorry this has been so hard for you." 

"Dongju." Geonhak gently cupped Dongju's cheek and smiled, "our little one, little seahorse, and you and everything - it's all worth it. I don't care how we got here." They continued to walk, Dongju leaning against Geonhak a little more. "I think we're stronger together now than we were before." Geonhak said softly. "We have had to grow a lot and work on things that we thought we could never overcome. I didn't think I'd ever be able to get past that wall you put up, you pushed against me so hard." 

"I'm sorry." Dongju said quietly. 

"But now you tell me your fears about our issues. I understand why you tried to hide that, I also understand why you thought I might sever our bond. Kids have always been important to both of us and if we can't give them to each other I can see why you think I would be tempted to leave, but you are my love and my mate - sure we're not true mates like your brother but I think we're as close as you can get." Dongju grinned at Geonhak's words. "I never considered severing with you, even when things were at their worst for us." 

"Same." Dongju took a slow breath. "I thought you might sever, but I was never going to."

\- ☆ - 

The house that they were moving into was nice, Dongju had planned how they were going to lay it out and Geonhak only took a few days moving in their furniture and going to buy new things. The last room they set up was the room that would be for their future child. They had a guest room, an office and their master, but the last room to do was their little ones. Dongju had bought some furniture that they would need, no matter what age child they brought home and they had painted it in an off white colour on the promise that they would paint it again once they knew what child they were bringing home and give them something they wanted. Dongju smiled at their work, putting the final touch in the room, the seahorse plushie leaning against the wall on the dresser. "One day this room is going to be full of so much laughter and love." Dongju said with a grin, pressing a kiss to Geonhak's cheek.

"I can't wait to see what our little one is like."


	10. Still trying to get to you - Geonhak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long Geonhak just didn't want to play ball. 
> 
> I really hope you enjoy this chapter and as a reminder I don't know much about adoptions but I have sort of made my own system for this world, because things would be different as anatomy and bonding and stuff is different. Anyway. I hope you like it, thank you for sticking with me - I'm so sorry the update took this long. Comments, kudos and just your time to read this are greatly appreciated. Love you <3

"Are you nervous?" Geonhak looked up when Giwook's voice pulled him out of the music he was reviewing. "For your bond test, are you nervous?" 

"Not really." 

"Yeah?" 

"Well I just know that our bond is meant to have a child, and our bond is currently opening, getting ready for our child to join us - the only problem is that we just moved into our new place and Dongju is starting to feel those nesting urges, and we don't know the gender or age so he's getting a little stressed about it." 

"Dongmyeong didn't really nest before Seri. we built her crib pretty early on because Dongmyeong was determined that he wouldn't wait until he got his nesting urges and was too big to be useful." 

"It's interesting how different they are sometimes." Geonhak smiled, "oh also Dongju is insisting it's not nesting urges." 

"Do you think he will adjust easily to adoption?" 

"Yeah. I think the second we have our child Dongju will instantly bond. He's been researching how best to make a bond and how to make sure that an adopted child feels secure in your bond." Geonhak bit his lip. "It's me that I'm worried about." 

"How come?" 

"You know, I can already feel myself loving a child I have never met. I can feel how much our bond is going to grow with love but what if I mess it up? What if I can't make them feel secure? We have said that we are willing to take a child who has a disability or a delay and what if I mess that up? What if Dongju is just so good and I'm bad and the child rejects the bond - because then how do we carry on? It's just so many questions." 

"I think you two are going to be fine. I mean if Dongmyeong and I could do the whole baby thing, you guys are going to be amazing." 

"Please you're great dads." 

"I have a mate who could stay at home but choses to go to work and leave our baby in the car of our pack." 

"And?" Geonhak eyed Giwook, he had never imagined Giwook to be the kind of person that had a problem with that and it made him feel confused about the man next to him.

"And I mean, I don't mind. I love him and I love how much more _him_ he's been since he went back to work. Dongmyeong has struggled to adjust, he isn't as natural as I'm sure Dongju is. He loves her, and we both love him so much and if it makes him feel good then we want him working and doing whatever he needs to do to make himself the best parents and person he can be for our daughter." Giwook looked at his computer screen and Geonhak wondered what was going on. "But the twins parents told us that Dongju said he was going to be stopping working when you adopted." 

"Yes - we discussed it when we first were talking about getting pregnant, I earn more than enough and he wanted to be at home with them raising them. He has always wanted that kind of life and with what me and you do, I can afford it for him, but when we finalise the adoption both of us are going to be home for a month before we allow others to come see them. Dongju read it's the most important for the child to have both parents and then we will introduce Youngjo as their pack leader and then Dongmyeong as obviously." Geonhak took a slow breath. "You two shouldn't feel pressured for Dongmyeong to stay home." 

"I tell him this, I love him - and I love him being at work and I love him being happy but he gets really stressed about what his parents and _my_ parents think of him. He believes my mom knows Seri isn't mine so he's extra obsessed with the idea that they _have_ to agree with how we're raising her." 

"Why would your mom know? None of us have told anyone." 

"Well exactly, and my bond with Seri was strong before she was even born we were bonded and she _is_ my daughter but Dongmyeong just thinks she knows. If she does she's never mentioned it to me and my parents don't care as long as Seri is happy and we go visit them regularly so they can spoil her."

\- ☆ - 

Geonhak smiled when is omega came in, wrapping his arms around Geonhak and kissing his cheek. "What you doing?" Dongju asked, keeping his arms tightly around Geonhak. "Sorry I'm late, it was a late filming." He mumbled, shifting so he could sit on Geonhak, the alpha wrapped his arms around Dongju and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Seoho and I picked up pizza on our way home, want me to bring ours in here if you're working?"

"I'm not working, the adoption agency sent over some profile of children they think fit our bond the most." 

"I'll bring the pizza in here." Dongju said softly, kissing Geonhak's lips this time. "This is important." 

"Is the pizza in Youngjo's?" 

"Mhm~" Dongju kissed Geonhak again quickly. "Want me to tell him that we are looking at profiles?" 

"Tell him that we need to be left alone tonight, we need to get a feel for the kids in the profile, I don't want... I don't want us to do like 15 meetings, because that's fifteen children who are getting their hopes up." 

Dongju came back with the pizza and brought a second chair, and a notepad. "Okay. So the bond check said that we are a good match for all ages but because of our existing family - Seri being one - they are sending us profiles of children under two." 

"Mhm." Geonhak said getting a slice of pizza and taking a bite. "You can still sit on me if you want Sunflower." The bond test had been good, simple, they were just evaluated by someone who was trained to just sense bonds and she seemed pleased with theirs. Dongju was eating and shook his head. 

"It feels like the kind of thing we shouldn't get distracted doing." 

"I do agree." 

"So did you look at any without me." 

"Just one. It feels weird looking at children like this, they're people, it's weird to reduce them to a file." Geonhak thought out loud. "But we need to find children you think will fit in our bond." Geonhak moved to take Dongju's hand in his. "So I was thinking we could chose maybe five - I think you will know better than me." Dongju moved then, getting on Geonhak's lap, arms wrapping around him. 

"Don't put yourself down like that. You're going to be their dad. Their alpha, the person who is going to show them how you should love, you're going to be the reason they will never settle for less than they deserve." Dongju said giving Geonhak a soft kiss. "You're going to teach them to ride a bike, and swim and be the one who writes them the most beautiful songs. You're going to be their _dad_ , and you are going to know our child just as well as I am." Geonhak held him close. "I know you're worried about not being enough, but how could anyone want more?" Dongju kissed him again. 

Geonhak began to go through the children they'd been sent to review. It was hard to read their information and see what some of them had been through in their short lives. Geonhak wanted to adopt them all and take them away from potentially being in more pain. Before they had looked at the profiles Geonhak had been sure that Dongju's interest would have been to have a girl, he could imagine Dongju as an amazing father to a little girl - and maybe he was meant to be one, but of the five children they had chosen, Miyeon, Daekyu, Seoryung, Iseul and Kihyuk, only two of them were girls. Dongju paused when they looked through the profiles one last time before sending their email off. "Do you get a feeling for this one?" Geonhak asked softly. 

"I think that's our child." Dongju said quietly. "I don't know why."

\- ☆ - 

Geonhak was nervous they were sat in a room full of toys and other things waiting for Miyeon to be brought in. She was born a month after Seri so they both knew what to expect from her because they had been around their niece. Dongju got up when the door opened but he sat back down, knowing they had to wait for her to come to them. She was pretty mobile and Dongju couldn't help but smile watching her. Geonhak loved seeing his partner smiling, he wondered if the little girl was feeling their bond, he wondered if she would get attached to them, if they were the right fit for her. The social worker sat with them talking about Miyeon. "She's hit all of her markers, she's growing well for her age and we're really amazed by her progress. She came to us at around two months old." The woman gave a little smile, "she does have a few anxious behaviours but we do anticipate that settling down when she's in a secure bond - it can be hard for the children in the home because they're not fully bonded to a caregiver."

Geonhak felt Dongju's hand tighten on his leg, he knew it was going to be hard for both of them to hear that the children were suffering - that they were missing out on things because of their situation which was not their fault. "And her other markers?" 

"She's healthy and she gets on well with other children her age - I saw in your file that your child would be having a cousin of a similar age." 

"Yes, Seri is 11 months, a year in a few weeks." Dongju spoke up, although his eyes were still on the girl who had seemingly no interest in them, but rather just the toys. 

"She would be a good fit with her cousin - are you living together as a pack?" 

"No, none of our pack have children, but Seri's omega parent is Dongju's twin." 

"What happens if she never comes to us?" Dongju said quietly, although it drew Geonhak and the woman's attention. 

"If Miyeon shows no interest in you then we will see you again - when you are ready - to meet the next child on your list." 

"Okay." Dongju said softly. As time went on it became clear that they were not going to get Miyeon interested in them, Geonhak could practically feel the rejection and when they left all could feel was the sadness from Dongju. They got in their car and Dongju just sat there for a few minutes, holding Geonhak's hand. "I've never been bond rejected before." 

"Neither have I, but if Miyeon didn't like our bond it's better for her that the people who are meant to be her parents find her." 

Dongju bit his lip. "The next one could be the one I felt the biggest pull towards the profile of." 

"It could be... do you really think they're our child?" 

"Yes." Dongju said quietly.

\- ☆ - 

Things were normal, waiting for their next appointment. Geonhak found himself sat in Youngjo's living room with the pack alpha, explaining the whole thing to him. Youngjo listened and offered advice where he could. "Do you not think that he's right about the child from the profile?" Youngjo asked, things had taken a turn for the better within the pack - Geonhak was unsure what was going on with Hwanwoong but whatever it was things just felt happier in the pack and within their shared bond.

"It's not that, exactly, what if he's wrong?" Geonhak said with a sigh. "What if we get there and it's a repeat of Miyeon, and they reject our bond and Dongju has been telling himself all this time that we both feel drawn to the profile." 

"Both of you?" 

"Well yeah. I mean I kept going back to the profile and reading over it again and again." Geonhak sighed, "but how do I pick him up if we get rejected."

\- ☆ - 

Dongju was sat with Geonhak on the sofa, they were probably more nervous than the first time. This was going to be the big moment - both of them had felt the most drawn to this profile and Geonhak could only hope that following their heart was the right thing to do. "So they have speech delay." Dongju had been running over the profile all week leading up to this moment.

"Yes, it's pretty severe from the profile." 

"They've been here since birth so it's probably more to do with the system than the child." 

"I was thinking the same thing - and if it's an issue we can get them all the help the need." Dongju smiled and gave Geonhak a soft kiss. 

And then everything changed. The door opened and Geonhak looked at the eightteen month old child in the caretakers arms. 

This was his son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find my twitter [here](https://twitter.com/KK_Moonbeam) if you wanna chat or anything~


	11. I love you baby - Dongju

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a warning there is a mention of underage pregnancy in one of the conversations in this, but it is very quick and about minor characters. 
> 
> Thank you for readings, comments, kudos and hits are much appreciated and I reply to every comment, even if it's a bit late <3

The world fell into alignment when Dongju looked at the little boy in the caretaker's arms. _Daekyu_. The boy he knew he was put on this Earth to parent. He squeezed Geonhak's hand watching the child get put down, he was unable to take his eyes off of the boy who went to the toys and was looking for something, it took all of Dongju to not get up and go to his son. He knew he was meant to father the child and he could practically feel Geonhak thinking the same thing. "So Daekyu is eighteen months old." The social worker began, "He's a little bit small for his age but nothing to be concerned about - his speech delay is very severe though, he says occasional words but he doesn't make sentences. He also shows a preference towards being left handed."

Daekyu came over, car in hand, and Dongju's heart stopped looking at the boy. He motioned that he wanted to be picked up. Dongju shifted to pick the boy up and sat him on his lap, watching as the boy drove the car over Geonhak's leg. Geonhak just let the boy watching him play. "Do you like the car Daekyu?" Dongju asked gently and the boy nodded, keeping the car moving. The little boy felt comfortable and Dongju had never imagine that he could feel a connection like this, this quickly to a child, if he could he would take him home. Daekyu shuffled over so he was sat on Geonhak before he accidentally dropped the car and just sat on Geonhak pouting a bit. 

Dongju moved to get some colouring stuff out for the boy and Geonhak moved to sit down with the boy and help him colour. "Shall we make a nice picture?" Geonhak said with a smile, helping him and praising him as he coloured. Dongju had no idea how they were going to be able to leave after the meeting, he already felt attached to the boy and he could practically see the bond being formed. He couldn't help but smile when he heard the little boy giggle, he wanted to hear that giggle for the rest of his life. He just already knew he would move mountains for the toddler. The boy felt like their son already and Dongju couldn't help himself. 

"When was he placed in the center?" Dongju asked although his eyes were still on the boy. 

"Immediately after he was born." Dongju looked at the boy who was colouring the car that he was doing with Geonhak. Eighteen months ago they were still trying to conceive, they hadn't even talked about adoption - and this gorgeous boy had been brought into the world and immediately put into a shared home. They could have had him earlier, they could have given him everything he needed - maybe if they'd gotten him earlier his speech would be on track. "He never had to sever a fully formed bond-" 

"Okay." Dongju said softly. He'd never felt the urge to protect someone the way he did about the little boy in front of him.

\- ☆ - 

Dongju was glad that they had moved to houses that were connected rather than the apartment when it came to dealing with things for their adoption. The last thing he wanted was to come home for their pack to want to talk, it was always emotional when they met a child. Dongju had gone into the kitchen and was starting on dinner, Geonhak walked in. "Dongju, baby, can we talk before you make dinner?"

"Sure." Dongju stopped and turned to give him a smile, Dongju couldn't wait to discuss the child. 

"I was wondering what you thought of Daekyu." Geonhak said holding the file. 

"Geonhak, he felt like he was mine." Dongju looked nervous. "Did you-" 

"I felt it too... I felt like he would be the perfect match for us." Geonhak hummed a little, looking at the file. "He's slightly older than we were looking for, he's over one." 

"I know we were looking at younger for Seri, but she's young enough that she would accept an older cousin and I love my brother but our family is my focus." Dongju said and Geonhak agreed. 

"He also has speech delay, but providing we get him talking before his fourth birthday he won't miss the window for speech." 

"I think he just needs parents and a stable environment - and if we need to we can get him in with a good speech therapist. I'm sure Youngjo could help us with a referral." Dongju was confident. Geonhak smiled and wrapped his arms around Dongju, 

"I will call the adoption agency and tell them that we want to move forward with Daekyu." Geonhak gave Dongju a quick kiss and then went to make the call. Coming back in moments later to tell Dongju that they were going to be moving to the next steps, "We need to spend more time with him, obviously, we need to start the bond process and see if he is receptive to us."

Dongju nodded, "I know it's crazy but I really think we were meant to bond with him." 

"I know baby, and he took to us so quickly, he was playing so nicely."

"He looked so cute sat with you colouring." Dongju smiled, wrapping his arms around Geonhak and kissing him softly. "When do we get to see him again?" 

"Next week." Geonhak said softly. "They're going to email us some stuff about the whole bonding stuff we have to do." 

"I just want him to come home." Dongju said softly. "I know that even once we get him home that it's going to be difficult." Dongju sighed "and if I'd been less stubborn. If I'd let you in more we could have had him home with us by now." Dongju said quietly. "All those things he had to do without a family. All the people he's had to meet who weren't right." 

"Dongju, it's not your fault. We're going through the process now and we're going to love him for the rest of our lives if he accepts our bond."

"He's never been bonded to a parent." Dongju said, his eyes watered slightly. "He's never known that love or that security or had a stable bond." Geonhak had moved gently wiping Dongju's tears. "I just want to protect him from the world. I want him in our arms. I want him here and in a safe bond." Dongju surprised himself when he burst into tears, Geonhak just holding him close. 

"I know Sunflower. I know it's so hard to know he's been in that group home waiting for us." Geonhak gently rubbed Dongju's back. "I'm pretty sure we will finalise his adoption. The woman I spoke to on the phone said the social worker said he was already accepting our bond and he was more relaxed than any other time he'd met potential parents. We even got a few words out of him." 

"He said bye to us." Dongju said with a little sob, holding on to Geonhak. "I just love him already." 

"I love him too Dongju. Providing he wants us we will bring him home as soon as we can, I promise you."

\- ☆ - 

Dongju was sat on Dongmyeong's sofa, Harin's pack had recently moved as well and Dongju did like the place that had been chosen for his brother and his mate. "I think I found my child." Dongju said out of blue and interrupting the conversation. Dongmyeong looked at him and nodded.

"Okay." 

"No. Dongmyeong, for real. I think I found him. The child I was put on this Earth to parent." Dongju couldn't help but smile. "I really think I've found my son." 

"And Geonhak feels the same?" 

"Yes." 

"Tell me about your son then?" 

"His name is Daekyu, he's gorgeous and he's so smart but he has severe speech delay which we are pretty sure comes from his time in the system, he was taken into care immediately after he was born so he never had the chance to form a bond. Which means while he has no trauma from a parental sever, but then he also has never had a parental bond." 

"Does he know how to create that bond?" 

"It's a natural instinct bond." Dongju said quietly, "But he could find it difficult to form the bond because he doesn't know how to trust a parental bond because he's never had one." 

"How old is he?" 

"Eighteen months." 

"I thought you were looking for younger than Seri?" 

"It was ideal for them to be younger than her but we are moving forward with him." Dongju was not going to debate the order of ages for their children. "They're not even a full year apart." 

"I'm not saying I disapprove, I just was curious." Dongmyeong gave Dongju a smile. "So what's your next steps with my nephew?" 

"We need to do a few sessions with him, where we'll build the foundations of our parental bond, then we can start filling in all the paperwork - they want to make sure that he won't bond reject us." Dongju could see the concern on Dongmyeong's face. "Don't" 

"He can reject you and you're already calling him your son." Dongmyeong said softly, concern written across his face and colouring his voice. 

"No Dongmyeong, he'd already began opening himself to us, to enter our bond. He came straight to us, he feels what we feel." 

"Dongju, please don't get-" 

"It's not getting my hopes up if it's right." 

"I'm not saying you're not going to be his dad but you don't know if he's going to reject you." Dongmyeong didn't understand what Dongju had felt. There was no way that he would have said that if he'd seen their first meeting with Daekyu. "I want him to be yours Dongju, I know how much you two want a baby and you both feel like he's meant to be yours and I don't think both of you would be wrong about that. I just also can't bear to see you hurt again. I know I put you through a lot of pain when I got pregnant." 

"Well you didn't do it to hurt me." Dongju said and Dongmyeong shook his head. 

"Yeah I know I'm the worst. I hurt my mate." Dongmyeong glared a little. "I didn't do it to hurt him either, but thanks for that." 

"I'm not making a dig at you." 

"It's always a dig at me." Dongmyeong eyed Dongju. "I do know it was the biggest mistake I could have made, getting pregnant by another man. I know it was stupid and I was beyond lucky that Giwook still wanted to be my mate after." Dongmyeong sighed, "and of course I'm the worst parent." 

"You aren't Myeong. What are you even saying?" Dongju said softly, he realised that something was on his twin's mind and was making him feel so aggressive about this. "Who would even suggest you aren't a good dad to Seri - she wants for nothing with you and Giwook." 

"Giwook has taken her to baby sensory play." Dongmyeong said with a sigh, "partially because you wanted to talk but also I hate it. I just feel really judged by the other omega's there." Dongmyeong said softly. "You know, I work and I'm not like oh my daughter is ten months old time to pop out another kid." 

"No one is expecting you to have another baby." 

"Giwook's mom knows." 

"How?" 

"I don't know. But I felt like she knew when I was pregnant, at the baby shower and she is really pushing us to think about another baby. One that will look like Giwook." 

"Seri looks exactly like you so of course she wants one that looks like her son. Not because she knows Seri's biological father isn't Giwook. Absolutely no one will think he isn't her biological father, their bond is literally beautiful."

"He's an amazing dad. I am so lucky to have him as my daughter's father." 

"Seri is lucky too. She has two outstanding parents. Dongmyeong, you need to give yourself a break. You got pregnant out of bond but your daughter is happy and your true mate took her as his own and she will never feel unloved."

"But he will always know deep down what I did." 

"Dongmyeong, please." Dongju looked at his twin. "Don't do that to yourself, Giwook loves you and Seri and he doesn't care how she came to be, plus without her you might have never realised how much you wanted to settle with him." 

"I know that, and I love her so much. She's my greatest creation, but I just wish she was his." 

"Dongmyeong, she is _his_." Dongju gave him a smile. "I know it's hard but you need to accept what happened and forgive yourself because Giwook forgave you the second you told him you were pregnant and you weren't even together properly at the time so he had no right to be that mad anyway." 

"You came over to talk about your adoption not my problems." 

"I don't mind helping you - I know that for a long time I've not been able to be there for you as much as you have needed me. I just couldn't-" 

"I know." Dongmyeong said with a smile, "I'm sorry too. I wanted to be there more for you but with what you and Geonhak were going through, I thought having me and Seri around would probably hurt more."

\- ☆ - 

Dongju felt relaxed after seeing Dongmyeong, he was sat with Geonhak as they went over the bonding information and over Daekyu's profile again. "He's going to be ours." Dongju said softly, reading over the profile and the medical information that they had for him. "His omega parent was only fifteen." Dongju said quietly and Geonhak nodded.

"It was an option they gave to my brother when Minhyun's dad severed with him." 

"She was so young and she had to go through a pregnancy and then giving him up straight away." Dongju felt pain for her, hoping that it had been entirely her choice and that she hadn't been forced into it. "The parents names are both removed because they don't want to know about him, but will update the agency if there is a hereditary illness discovered." 

"Dongju, it's going to be okay. I promise." Geonhak gave him a smile and then a soft kiss. "When we start our bonding with him you'll see."

\- ☆ - 

The first bonding session was okay, as Daekyu was young and was also unable to express complex emotions with words Dongju could not be entirely sure what the child was feeling but there was a social worker and a child psychologist present, watching them and making sure that everything was going well. Dongju was sure that he was starting to feel Daekyu in the bond and the little one was playing, climbing over Geonhak, giggling as he did so. Dongju wasn't sure he would be okay if they were told that they wouldn't be suitable for this child. He loved watching the boy playing, he just felt that protective urge for him. He wanted to hold him in his arms and keep him safe from the world.

Daekyu even ran and got a book for them to read to him, Dongju falling in love with his partner more watching him read to the boy, playing with him as they read. Dongju ended up with Daekyu falling asleep on his lap as Geonhak read to him. Dongju just kept his arms tightly around Daekyu until the social worker came in to take him back. The psychologist took them to the office to discuss the first session. 

"Daekyu is very comfortable with you. Comfortable enough that he was able to fall asleep on you Mr. Son." The psychologist looked at the notes. "We've noted that your bond is completely opened, on your end there is less to work on, it seems that you two have managed to open the bond without much force, this should have led you to have a clearer feeling when you first me Daekyu about how he would bond with you - so it is safe to trust your instincts when it comes to the child." 

"We both feel like he is meant to be in our bond." Geonhak spoke and Dongju just held his hand tightly. "We both felt it when we first met him, that he was meant to be our child." 

"I do think you two and Daekyu are a good fit. He seems to be very comfortable with both of you, but we do have a requirement of so many sessions, children can reject a little bit further down the line." Dongju tensed, gripping Geonhak's hand harder. "But - with how open your bond is and how easily he has found it to trust you enough to take a nap on you, I would suggest that you are going to be okay. I will only require four or five more sessions." 

"We really would like him before his second birthday." Dongju spoke and the psychologist nodded. "I mean... because we want his milestones with us, we want to get as many childhood memories with him as we can - because I don't want him to grow up and not have many pictures of him as a toddler." Dongju could feel Geonhak squeezing his hand, telling him to stop, to stop being aggressive, to stop being demanding, but his was _his_ son and he wanted him home with them as soon as he could. 

"I understand that Mr. Son, obviously our priority here is to Daekyu and ensuring he is placed in a home with parents who are the correct fit. I know it's hard for you to be apart from a child that you feel strongly about but we are all here for the same reason, we all want Daekyu to be in the perfect home and if that is with yourselves we will get him home with you as soon as possible. We understand that as an omega with fertility-" 

"My fertility issues have nothing to do with this." Dongju said, feeling the anger rising in him. Geonhak's hand squeezed him again harder. "I understand that you think I'm over zealous, I just - I really want to make him happy. I know it's selfish to want him to be ready to be our son but I just feel so protective over him." 

"I understand Mr. Son, I do, but you and Mr. Kim need to have more time with Daekyu - I assure you that it is not because he is borderline. I am sure that he is going to fully bond with you, probably within our sessions - if we think he's getting close to sealing the bond we will expedite his adoption because he cannot be apart from a fully sealed parental bond - especially as he has never had one before, he will need the comfort of you both being nearby. He's bonding better than most do in the first session, but we have to go at the child's pace. I assure you that as soon as Daekyu is ready we will have him with you. You just need to be patient." 

"My mate sometimes struggles with that." Geonhak said with a laugh and Dongju just smiled, he wasn't angry about Geonhak's comments but he did feel angry that the psychologist had brought up their fertility issues and had made it seem like he was over-reacting. He thought that he was within his rights to want to have his son for their birthday.

\- ☆ - 

Geonhak was sat with him in the car and gave Dongju's hand a squeeze. "Next time I'll ask if we can give him the seahorse so he has a bit of us with him." Dongju just nodded, not saying anything. "Sunflower, are you okay? They shouldn't have mentioned our fertility-"

"I want to get a confirmed diagnosis." Dongju just blurted out. 

"Dongju..." 

"No, I want us both to get tested. I want to know what our chances are of ever having a baby. I'm ready. I'm okay to hear that I'm infertile." Dongju took a slow breath. "Either way we will have a child, but when we get him home we're supposed to not make any changes to the family for at least a year, so I need to know if we need to go on birth control." 

"Dongju, are you sure?" 

"I feel strong enough now to know our reality." Dongju nodded giving Geonhak a smile. He had thought about this for a while and in the end he felt strong enough to handle whatever news they got.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find my twitter [here](https://twitter.com/KK_Moonbeam) if you wanna chat or anything~


	12. I'll promise you forever - Geonhak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, comments, kudos and hits are much appreciated and I reply to every comment, even if it's a bit late <3

Geonhak didn't want to do the test. He sort of didn't want to know - he knew that deep down both of them felt the same, both of them worried it was them that was the problem. Deep down Geonhak knew that what he had to do was a lot easier than what he mate was going through. All he had to do was leave a sample in a cup - and Dongju was having scans and at least one of them was pretty invasive. 

After they were both done they were given a time and date to come back, which was only a few days. Dongju was a little bit quiet. "Was it okay?" Geonhak said softly. "You could have requested me being in there if you wanted." Dongju looked at him, they were sat in the car and Geonhak was supposed to be driving so they could eat. 

"I was fine." Dongju said quietly. "I didn't want you... there." He said and Geonhak could felt the shame through the bond. He rested his hand on Dongju's thigh. 

"I love you and you have nothing to worry about." Geonhak pressed a kiss to Dongju's cheek. "I'm really sorry that you had to go through that and I'm sorry that you still feel that shame." He spoke gently, glad that their therapy had been giving him more ways to handle these situations and to help support Dongju better. "You don't need to feel any shame about this, it's not your fault." 

"I can handle this." Dongju said slowly, hand resting over Geonhak's on his thigh. "I just can't help the feeling that I have let our family down." 

"We don't know which of us is causing the struggle for us to conceive, and even if it is you, it's not your fault - sometimes our bodies just don't work the way we would like them to." 

"I know that, I promise." Dongju said, squeezing his hand. "I just am scared of the results, what if it _is_ me?"

"It just will be what it is." Geonhak said softly, moving to press a kiss to Dongju's cheek. "It will change nothing for me, or for us, no matter what the cause is." 

A few days later they were back in the doctors office. Geonhak hated the doctors office, he was nervous for their results, Dongju had promised him that he was going to be okay. The doctor was looking over the tests. "I'll start with you Mr. Kim, your results came back within the normal range for an alpha your age." Geonhak nodded, hand taking Dongju's and giving it a squeeze, since the test date Dongju had been saying he knew he was the issue but it was a different thing to hear it. Geonhak looked at him and he was already crying. "Mr. Son, I can give you a chance to calm down." 

"No. Just tell me how bad it is." Geonhak squeezed his hand, promising Dongju that he had him no matter what. 

"I'm afraid that you are classed as infertile Mr. Son." Geonhak could literally feel Dongju's heart breaking at the words. "It isn't completely impossible but I've seen people with better results than you try their whole lives and never have a child naturally. It is unfortunately something that you will have to grow to accept. I know it's very difficult." Dongju was gripping Geonhak's hand tightly, still silently crying at the news. "We have plenty of resources at the clinic to find an option for you - if conception is something you two really want to achieve, and we have a very good therapy division to help people cope with their diagnosis. I know it can be shocking and be something that's very hard to understand but Mr. Son I promise you, there are options." 

"It's okay." Dongju managed to say. "Thank you." They got up and Geonhak was nervous of what the fall out was going to be, he hadn't even gotten Dongju to the car when the omega began to sob, Geonhak shifting how they were stood so he was holding him against him. He didn't care that they were stood in the middle of the car park. He wrapped the other man up as tightly as he could, hand running through the other's hair. 

"It's going to be okay Dongju, we are going to bring Daekyu home, we're going to have a beautiful family." 

"I'm sorry." Dongju breathed between sobs. "I'm really sorry." 

"Why?" Geonhak said softly, keeping the man against him. "I don't care. We are going to have Daekyu and we're going to be happy. I love you no matter what." Dongju held onto him crying for a bit longer before stepping back and just starting to walk towards their car, "Dongju, Sunflower, you promised me that you were going to be okay." Geonhak said softly. "Are you?" 

"I'm okay. I knew it was coming but it still hurt to hear the words. To officially be _infertile_. I had thought that maybe we were both a bit less than normal, but you're completely fine and it's me that's our problem." 

"You're not a problem, we can't make a baby the 'expected' way. I don't care, we're adopting a gorgeous boy. You are all I need." 

"Let's go home. I have to tell Dongmyeong but other than him. Can we not tell the other's? I love them but I just want to get more comfortable with our diagnosis before we tell everyone." Geonhak was amazed by his mate. He always knew Dongju was strong, but he was stronger than Geonhak thought he'd be if he got the same news. Just before they got in the car. He stopped his mate pulling him for a deep kiss. Hands on his hips, Dongju's arms around his neck. Dongju pulled back and looked confused.

"I love you so much Son Dongju. I'm so proud of how well you are taking it and you're doing so good. Let's get you home so we can process this and just spend time accepting who we are and what this means for us."

"Okay. Can you also call Hyewon, I'd like an extra hand when it comes to processing this." Geonhak got in the car and couldn't help but kiss him again. "I love you." Dongju breathed against Geonhak's lips as if he knew that Geonhak was feeling overwhelming amoubts of love and pride with how Dongju was coping.

"I'll book individual times and couple times with Hyewon. I know my feelings are different-"

Dongju just cupped his cheek and gave him a gentle kiss too. "It's a loss for you too." Dongju gave him a soft smile. "Now it's confirmed that we're not going to be making a baby the standard way."

\- ☆ - 

Lying together in bed with Dongju resting on him, knot keeping them together. Dongju was tracing shapes on Geonhak's chest. Dongju hummed a little before leaving soft kisses on Geonhak's chest. "I feel weirdly at peace." Dongju said softly. "I mean not just because you're so good in bed it's impossible to think of anything but with the diagnosis. I just know its going to be okay."

"It is going to be okay." Geonhak said softly. "If we want to go the genetic route, we have options. If we don't we both know how much love can be felt in adoption." 

"When we adopt Daekyu, I would like to fill out the form to be notified if he has any siblings born and put in the system." 

"They will be easier to bond if they have a blood sibling." Geonhak said softly. "But siblings are a conversation for later." Geonhak gently tucked Dongju's hair behind his ear. 

"Are _you_ okay?" Dongju said softly, "You've been looking after me and looking out for me, and I want to make sure you're okay." 

"Dongju." 

"No, Geonhak. I want you to tell me exactly how you feel about my- our fertility." 

"Dongju." 

"Geonhak, if you don't tell me I'm going assume you're upset with me about it." 

"I'm not upset." 

"Then tell me."

"Dongju, we've known for a while now, longer than I think we'd like to admit, that we were not going to be able to conceive naturally, but we continued - we kept going, destroying our hearts every single time. I know we didn't take the tests before because you were afraid and I will never blame you about that." Geonhak pressed a quick kiss to Dongju's lips. "I was surprised it was just you, if I'm honest. I thought it was going to be decreased fertility in both of us. I didn't expect what we heard today. It's strange for me - I know you aren't ready, but when you are can I show Youngjo the paper work." 

"He's not a doctor." 

"He works in medicine and I don't understand all the words." 

"It says I can't have babies Geonhak, what else is there to understand?" 

"He said it's not likely - but is it possible? if so could we be doing stuff-" 

"No." Dongju said quietly. "I love that you want to understand our diagnosis, but we're not going back to trying for a baby like that." Dongju said softly. "I don't think I can handle it and we're going to have our son and I really cannot fall apart if we have a little one to look after." 

"I know, and I love you and I'm so proud that we've got to the point where we can recognise if something is bad for us and our relationship." Geonhak said, "I just... If there's a chance I want to know how much." 

"The doctor said people more fertile than me don't get pregnant so I think it's safe to say it's not very likely. You... still... want me right?" 

"Of course I want you, Son Dongju, you are my mate. my other half, my match and I don't think I could ever be without you. Plus my knot is literally in you. I think it's very obvious that you're my love." Geonhak pressed a soft kiss to his omega's lips. "Plus you're gonna be the dad of my pups." 

Dongju pouted. "I want our little pup home." 

"I know. I know Sunflower, but we need to give him time to get into our bond."

\- ☆ - 

Geonhak was surprised at Dongju, he was processing everything well, they were working on it and he loved the way that Dongju had grown since they'd started therapy. Dongju was excited, they had another session with Daekyu and they had the little sea horse plush with them. Dongju sat with it on his lap as they sat in the waiting room, "He might not be ready for the plushie." Geonhak said softly. 

"I know, but if we bring it he can know that we're serious about bringing him home. He's never had a parental bond, he's probably really unsure of trusting it." 

"I love you." Geonhak said with a smile. "I can't believe you thought of all of that when we have everything else going on." 

"I just worry about my baby." 

"I know." Geonhak said, it was shortly after that the boy came in, he was just as bright as normal. Geonhak wondered if Daekyu could sense their weird emotions, they were happy to see him but they were still trying to process their diagnosis so Geonhak could feel the swirl of emotions in his partner, and maybe Daekyu could too because he brought over a toy for Dongju to hold. 

The more time they spent with Daekyu, the more Geonhak could feel the boy in their bond and he knew it wasn't enough yet but it seemed like Daekyu wasn't going to reject them. The only thing that worried him was just how little Daekyu spoke. The boy was smart though, Geonhak could see his little brain working overtime to understand everything going on and he was sat colouring with Dongju, working very hard to keep the colours within the line. Dongju very gently trying to prompt the boy into saying the colours although Daekyu seemed pretty determined to only give them the barest minimum of words. 

Just before they had to let him go, Dongju handed the seahorse to Daekyu. "Do you want to keep this safe for us? It's a promise that we're going to be back and that you're safe with us." The boy nodded, holding the toy tightly. "Okay, be good and we'll be back as soon as we can." 

Geonhak was unsure of how they could have ever gotten so lucky to have a boy like him want to be in their bond but he knew he couldn't wait to bring him home. Geonhak was just excited to make more steps forward with Daekyu. He could feel Dongju's happiness through their bond and even in the meeting with the psychologist, Geonhak found it hard to focus - his mate was just so happy and he couldn't wait to bask in that happy feeling when they got home. Geonhak's only concern was that the next meeting with Daekyu was scheduled for Seri's first birthday so they were going to have to leave him and go straight to the party - and he was unsure of how Dongju would feel that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find my twitter [here](https://twitter.com/KK_Moonbeam) if you wanna chat or anything~


	13. Not as easy as I first thought - Dongju

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh we're getting so close~ 
> 
> Thank you for reading, comments, kudos and hits are much appreciated and I reply to every comment, even if it's a bit late <3

Dongju was glad they were spending more time with Daekyu, it was their third session with the boy, and he could feel them getting closer. He'd almost burst into tears when the boy had come in holding the seahorse they'd given him. Daekyu was in a pretty good mood today, playing with them and he even attempted more words, Dongju hated having to let to Daekyu go and was surprised when the boy burst into tears. Dongju felt every fibre in his body tell him that he needed to hold him and take that pain away. The boy just crying broke his heart, he wanted to do anything he could to stop the tears. 

They went in to see the psychologist after and all Dongju could think about was the boy crying. His tears hurt so much, and Dongju swore he could feel the boy in their bond. He could barely focus on the psychologist's words, all he could focus on was the little seedling he could feel of Daekyu in their bond. "Mr Son." The psychologist brought Dongju out of his thoughts. 

"Oh- s-sorry." Dongju said softly. "I spaced out." 

"It's... okay. I was just saying I think that Daekyu is solidifying his bond with you. You two should start to feel him - but this is the final stage before we let you bring him home." 

"Is he going to cry every time we see him?" Dongju said taking a slow breath. "I know we need to wait and that we need to keep meeting him, but it just hurt to see him crying like that." 

"I know, as his bond accepts you, all your protective instincts are going to come to the forefront. But you have to mask any kind of distress you two will feel when he is taken away back to the home and is crying - we need to ensure that Daekyu is not getting too stressed. We don't want him to feel traumatised about being apart from you, not because we are unsure that you are the match for him, but because it will help him adjust if he is okay without you as well." Dongju nodded, he wanted Daekyu to be well adjusted and well looked after. He just wanted him to be happy. 

"Can we have his medical records now, as you believe we're going to be his forever home. I would like to start looking into his speech." 

"Geonhak." Dongju said softly, not wanting his mate to push the adoption agency. 

"No, it's okay Mr. Kim, I understand that before you finalise all the paperwork you will want to look at his paper work and get the medical records looked over by your packs doctor. You have the preliminary paper work, and there will be nothing more serious than the preliminary pack if you were-" 

"I am not concerned." Geonhak said quickly. "No, what I mean to say is, there is nothing in his medical record that will make us change our minds about him. We both feel like Daekyu is _our_ son. I just would like to get a medical professional's eyes on the file so we can start developing a plan for his medical care, especially regarding his speech - I ended up researching it and children have a limited window to develop the ability to learn to speak to a fluent level in any language. I just want to ensure that we give Daekyu the best chance at achieving everything he wants in his life." Dongju looked at his mate and his heart swelled, Geonhak hadn't told him that he'd been researching this. 

"I understand Mr. Kim, we will send all the medical records over to you." 

"His birth parents." Dongju spoke up, "I... they have chosen for a closed adoption, and I just want - they can't take him back off of us?" 

"No Mr. Son, once you secure a bond and have signed everything, Daekyu will be legally yours, Daekyu's birth parents chose a closed adoption so they do not want any contact or updates about him, in the time he has been here they have never enquired about him, and I can assure you that you will have all the rights. Daekyu will be yours."

\- ☆ - 

Dongju was sat in the car, refusing to get out of the car was childish. Geonhak was looking at him, he was worried - and Dongju knew he needed to get out of the car and enjoy his niece's birthday party, but how could he when his little one was so far away. "We have to go in - or I need to call Giwook and tell him you're sick." 

"Dongmyeong knows we were seeing Daekyu today." Dongju breathed out. "I just can't do this." 

"Okay, that's okay." Geonhak said softly. "I'll just drive us to a car park nearby until you feel better." Dongju nodded, Geonhak took them to a Mcdonald's, ordered two drinks in the drive through and then parked again. "Okay sweetheart, we're going to sit here and we can talk, or not talk and when you're ready we're going to go to your twin's place and we are going to celebrate our niece turning one." Geonhak was concerned and Dongju just couldn't speak. "Sunflower, we can go even just for a few minutes, your brother understands that we're dealing with our adoption." 

"I can feel him in our bond, not fully, but I can feel parts of him." 

"I'm the same. He's going to be home with us soon." 

"Geonhak, how am I supposed to go celebrate - my twin got knocked up by accident in a fucking club bathroom and we've tried so hard for this chance and I still don't get to hold my baby when he cries." 

"I know Sunflower." Geonhak pressed a quick kiss to Dongju's cheek. "I know it's hard, it's hard for me too, but we're going to have him home." Geonhak was trying to coax Dongju into giving up and going to the party. "We love Seri, and it's her birthday today. This isn't about your twin and how he's had it easier than us." 

"I love her Geonhak, but I want my son." Dongju took a gasping breath, he was trying not to cry, Geonhak had his hand in his and was trying to comfort him. "You promised me that I'd never have to do something as painful as the baby shower again."

"I know. I know it hurts because we want him with us and we can't wait to be bringing him to family event. Next birthday is his." 

"If we can get him before his birthday." 

"If we can't, I will make sure that we get to visit on his birthday. Neither of us can leave our son on his birthday. We have a few months. Our son will be in our arms. But first-"

"I know. My niece is one and she's going to be sad if we don't go. I know Geonhak. I just, I don't understand how you aren't feeling-"

"Dongju. I feel the same. When Daekyu cried when he had to leave, I wanted to fight the social worker and hold him, I wanted to promise him that I was never going to let them take him from us again but I had to push down every instinct I had because, we have to do it this way. Our son needs us to just follow the rules a little longer and we need to ensure our bond is calm for him - his daddy is very sensitive and emotional so I have to be more in control. He knows we love him. He's starting to feel the bond with us, so we need to try to be happy so he will feel safer okay?" 

"I want him happy and safe." Dongju said quietly. "You're really going to make me do this..." 

"I'm not _making_ you do anything. I just don't want you to regret missing Seri's first birthday." Geonhak sighed. "I'm not going to entertain an argument about this, I'm trying to be patient with you, Dongju, I understand as much as I can that you don't have the best relationship with the knowledge that your twin conceived accidentally and I love you beyond words, but I also know that in the moment you make decisions based on your feelings but Seri will never have another first birthday." Geonhak shifted. "We don't want to miss her Doljabi." 

"She's going to pick the instrument." Dongju said before leaning back against his seat. He felt frustrated, Geonhak was right, but he just couldn't make himself say it, he couldn't make himself back down. "With how creative both of her parents are she's going to be creative too." He took a slow breath. "We missed Daekyu's Doljabi." 

"Dongju." Geonhak said softly, hand in his, giving it a squeeze. "I will ask if he has one, and if he hasn't we can do one, it doesn't matter that he's almost two." 

"It matters Geonhak. He's supposed to have had one when he was one. If I'd gotten over myself soon we could have started the adoption process when he was still a baby. We could have him right now." 

"Well we don't Dongju, what do you want me to say? We don't have him yet and you need to forgive yourself for whatever this is, because we missed things in his life, but we will _never_ miss another thing, and dwelling on the memories we don't have will only prevent us from making new memories." Geonhak pressed a kiss to the back of Dongju's hand. "Our niece adores you and she will want you there." 

Before Dongju could answer the bluetooth connection to Geonhak's phone lit up and the phone rang. It was Dongmyeong and Dongju closed his eyes. Geonhak answered and they could hear the party in the background. "Geonhak, are you guys on your way? I know you had a meeting with Daekyu and I thought it might run over so I gave you guys time but you're the only people not here and Yonghoon has work so he's going to have to leave and we really don't want anyone to miss her Doljabi, so I was just wondering where you were." 

Geonhak looked at him and Dongju could tell his twin was nervous, he knew that Dongmyeong felt a lot of pressure when it came his daughter, that he was convinced Giwook's family knew she wasn't Giwook's biological child and that he had to make up for it. "Yeah sorry, we overran. I was going to wait until we got there, but Daekyu is starting to finalize our bond."

"Really? That's so amazing Dongju! I wish you were able to bring him today. I know Seri would love for her cousin to be here." Dongmyeong was genuinely excited, nerves about the Doljabi pushed away by his excitement for his twin. "Are you close?" Geonhak had started driving again, leaving the car park. 

"We're only a few minutes away, sorry we're running so late." 

"No. I get it, I mean you probably had some stuff to do at the adoption service and we all would rather you did all of that for your son and be a little late." Dongmyeong hummed a little. "Hurry over, Mom brought her kimchi jeon so you will have to be fast before Giwook eats it all." 

They didn't take long to get there and Dongju felt happy here, he loved seeing everyone, all of his pack and his twins were there and of course their parents. Dongju smiled when Giwook came over and he took Seri off the man, "Hi birthday girl. Oh sweetie, don't you look cute in your hanbok." He said gently bouncing the girl. 

"She likes grandma's kimchi jeon." Giwook said with a grin. 

"Oh just like her dad." Geonhak laughed, moving to take Seri and cuddle her himself. It was hard to not feel happy when he was here with his family, but Dongju couldn't help but think about Daekyu back in the home. Dongju loved seeing his brother and Giwook so happy, both of them were clearly so in love with each other as well as loving their little girl. It was no surprise when Seri picked the toy keyboard, and Dongju found himself leaning on Geonhak who just held him close. Geonhak had been right, he wanted to be here, he wanted to see his niece and his twin. He just wanted his son, that would make everything perfect. 

When they got home that night Dongju went and sat in what would be Daekyu's room. Geonhak left him to think. Dongju appreciated that Geonhak was letting him get his thoughts in order. He knew that he'd tried to push Geonhak to avoid the party today and that he needed to calm down. Dongju just wanted to have the boy, and he made the decision that he was going to do Daekyu's bedroom this week. He was about to get up when he felt someone come in and sit next to him. Geonhak had a bowl of crisps and offered it to Dongju. "I'm thinking of just doing a light meal tonight, I ate too much of your mom's kimchi jeon." 

"I ate too much of Giwook's moms jajangmyeong." Dongju mumbled, pressing a quick kiss to Geonhak's cheek. "I'm sorry about before the party." 

"Sunflower, baby. I understand. It's very hard for both of us to be apart from our baby boy - but it's only for a little while longer." 

"I want to do his room." Dongju said looking at the room as he spoke. "I think a space theme, he loves that space ranger show and he loves the space toys and I want him to have a special room, you know special for him." 

"And you are listening to your nesting instincts." Geonhak said with a smile. "We'll pick out furniture for his room and the design can be up to you, you're the artist." 

"I'm a makeup artist Geonhak." Dongju smiled, "You're the one who is going to be an award winning writer and producer." 

"Only if Youngjo's song wins. And our boy needs his artistic daddy to come up with a great theme. You always tell me your makeup is art." 

"My makeup _is_ art." Dongju grinned. "I'll draw a design and show you and we can decide if we want it." 

"Do you think it's weird that both you and Dongmyeong are artists and you both are mated to musicians?" Geonhak said and Dongju looked at him. 

"That came out of no where." 

"No I just thought of it..." 

"It's a bit weird that my mate turned out to by my twin's true mates song writing partner." Dongju shrugged, "But I'm happy Giwook brought me to you." He said pulling Geonhak in for a kiss, the kiss was slow and romantic. "And we're going to raise an amazing little boy together."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find my twitter [here](https://twitter.com/KK_Moonbeam) if you wanna chat or anything~


	14. Like Hands Held Tight - Geonhak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, comments, kudos and hits are much appreciated and I reply to every comment, even if it's a bit late <3 
> 
> Sorry if this is worse than usual, I have a headache but I really wanted to get this written.

Geonhak had avoided this conversation for a few days since Seoho had needed the pack and Geonhak felt that Dongju had made his stance pretty clear. Dongju was sat browsing children's furniture as he planned out Daekyu's room. Dongju didn't look over but he did start speaking. "Are you going to look at me or say something?" Dongju said before sighing. "I can feel your tension." He moved to look at Geonhak and sighed. "It's about Seoho isn't it?" 

"It's about our son." Geonhak said, moving to sit down. "But yes, it has to do with Seoho." 

"There is nothing wrong with him being an alpha who likes other alphas." 

"It's not about that." Geonhak eyed Dongju. "We started trying for a baby when he was with Youngjo. You know that doesn't bother me." 

"What is it about?" 

"Dongju, I think it's safe to say that you are very... attached to Seoho." 

"He literally saved our relationship Geonhak." 

"I know, and I know he's given you immeasurable support." Geonhak sighed, "I will never be able to repay him for what he has done for us. He is our pack, but he's suffering. What are we going to do if he leaves the pack?" 

"He won't."

"He's in so much pain Dongju. Why would he stay?" 

"We're his family. He said so. He said he wouldn't leave." 

"But if he does."

"Geonhak."

"Dongju. We are bringing our son into this pack, I need to know that if Seoho leaves-"

"You will always pick Youngjo." Dongju said flatly. "So this is a redundant conversation."

"No. I want to know how you feel."

"I feel like Youngjo should have been more responsible. I feel like you will always take his side. I fee like Seoho is always hurting himself for the pack and he does the most to support all of us. I feel like you have never felt like someone's second choice, and Seoho got told he was the second choice in the worst way. I have you to help me through all the worst times and all my insecurities but he's held it all in." 

"I understand. I know you've always felt very connected with Seoho."

"He found me once, falling apart in our bathroom. He literally had to pick me up, and help me get myself together because you were at work. I had really thought I was pregnant and I took four tests and it was just... he literally just sat with me on the bathroom floor. It was the first time I'd voice the fear that I was infertile and he listened. He promised that he wouldn't tell you, that it was up to me. That you would still love me and not to be afraid." Geonhak didn't know about this. He had even more to be thankful to Seoho for. "I know Youngjo would have looked after me. But it was Seoho... its always him who looks after me and Hwanwoong and Keonhee. He always helps us when we're struggling to understand our alphas. Please don't ask me to pick a side between him and Youngjo. Not when you know you'd be forcing me to stand against you."

"Dongju, I'm asking because we need to make a fucking choice. We need to know what we're going to do if Seoho decides this isn't helping him." 

"If I say I want to leave what will you say?" 

"Okay." Geonhak said and Dongju looked at him surprised. "I would leave. You tell me its the best thing for you or Daekyu or whoever comes along after him and I will do it." 

"Geonhak" 

"No. Dongju, I will do whatever you want for our family. If we have to leave this pack I will do it. You are my mate, and I will never put the pack over my mate." He said, "and I will never forgive Youngjo for that comment he made about our fertility, I will not allow people to say anything like that to you again - the only reason we are still here is because you told me you wanted to stay, but I cannot defend him to you, not after that." 

"I've forgiven him." Dongju said. "He wasn't wrong and I know exactly what it's like to say things because you just want to hurt someone because you're in so much pain." 

"It's different." 

"Not really. I know in some of our arguments I blamed you for our inability to conceive, when now we know the problem is literally just me." Dongju sighed. "But, I understand why you can't forgive him completely." 

"I am your mate Dongju, I was put on this earth to keep you safe." Geonhak watched his mate, Dongju got up and moved to sit on Geonhak's lap. He pressed a gentle kiss to Geonhak's lips, Geonhak wrapped his arms around Dongju. 

"You do keep me safe. You make me safe. I love you." 

"I love you too Dongju." Geonhak said kissing him again. "Whatever you want, is what we will do." 

"If it comes to it, we will decide what to do if the pack loses Seoho." Dongju said softly, "We wont know until we get Daekyu home what will be the best course of action for him. He's the most important person in this, we need to try to give him the most stability we can." 

"Did you chose a bed for him?" 

"When we see him next we need to speak to the social worker, I need to know if he's been moved to a big boy bed or if he's still in a crib." Dongju smiled a little, Geonhak loved seeing the other like this, talking about their son. "I mean he's at the age where he could have transitioned, but if he's not transitioned to a big boy bed we'll keep him in a crib while he adjusts to us, I don't want any more change for him than he's already going to be dealing with. I love him so much, and I just want to protect him." 

"I feel the same way Dongju." He said softly, pulling him in for another slow kiss. "Okay, I'll let you go back to looking at furniture for our baby. I'm going to go order dinner for us." 

"Okay, I told Seoho about our plan for when we get Daekyu home, so you might want to tell Youngjo, and I'll tell Dongmyeong at some point." Dongju gave him another kiss. "Order something tasty."

\- ☆ - 

They were sat in the centre, today was not a good day Daekyu was in a bad mood, and while it was solidifying their bond, and it was good for them to see him on bad days as well. This was a part of their son, he was fussy and temperamental today - as all toddlers could be. Geonhak watched the social worker, trying to work out if they had the rights to parent here. He was surprised when Dongju took charge of the situation. He had moved to hold Daekyu to stop his limbs flailing. "Daekyu, we're going to calm down together, okay? I know you can't tell me what's wrong, but unless we calm down we can't fix it." He was gentle but also firm. Daekyu looked at him tears across his cheeks from the frustration. "If we can calm down I'll help you fix it okay?" Daekyu kept his eyes on Dongju and Geonhak was about to move when the social worker worker touched his arm to tell him to stay, that whatever Dongju was doing was something the social worker liked.

"Ju." Geonhak said quietly. 

Dongju was using the bond, gently trying to send out calming pheromones and Daekyu fought it, still trying to throw his tantrum. "If you don't calm down Daekyu, we can't help you." Dongju said and Geonhak couldn't take his eyes off of his partner, how could Dongju just know what to do? Daekyu was resisting, but he did eventually relent, and let Dongju hold him. Dongju moved to pick the boy up and gently bounced him, Geonhak watched as the boy wrapped his arms around Dongju's neck and hid his face. "Are you scared of us leaving again today?" Dongju asked quietly. Geonhak held his breath as the boy tightened his arms around Dongju. "I know Dae, we hate leaving too, but you can't throw a tantrum. We have to just follow the rules." Dongju gently rocked the boy. "It's scary right? Knowing that your dad and I are going to be leaving again today but I promise you, we are going to come back." Dongju walked over with the boy and passed Geonhak a book as they sat down. "Shall we listen to a story?" Daekyu was still holding onto Dongju but he was looking at Geonhak now. 

Daekyu fell asleep, hand gripping onto Dongju's shirt. Geonhak knew their separation today was going to be difficult. When the social worker came to get him Daekyu started kicking off again, he was crying and Geonhak knew how much it would hurt Dongju, but again he was so surprised, Dongju just got up and went over to Daekyu. "Daekyu, listen to me." Dongju was calm.

"Can we just hold him for a bit longer?" Geonhak asked and the social worker looked at them, but did hand the boy to Geonhak. Geonhak held the boy so he could see Dongju too. 

"We're going to come back soon Daekyu, I know you're scared, but you can feel us with you. I promise. Your dad and I are going to be back as soon as we can. I promise you." Dongju gently linked his finger with Daekyu's to promise. "I will always come back for you." 

Geonhak handed the boy back when he calmed down a little but they could still hear him crying in the hallway. Geonhak pulled Dongju into a tight hug, pressing a kiss to the top of his mates head. "I love you Dongju." He said softly. "You did so amazing for our baby. You kept him so calm." 

"God he's so scared." Dongju said curling into Geonhak, who was relieved they were giving them a second. He held the other close to him, not wanting to let him go. "He's in our bond... I can feel him, I can't do this." Dongju said sitting down on the sofa in the observation room. Geonhak watched him. "I can't hold myself together, if we're going to have to hurt him like this." 

"Dongju." Geonhak said, going over and crouching next to him, resting a hand on his knee. "Dongju look at me. You were so amazing with him, you calmed him down and then we managed to calm him a bit when we were separated. Daekyu needs to be okay when we're apart from him, but also - we need to make this as painless as we can for him. We need to reassure him that he is okay even without us." 

"I don't want to do this anymore." 

"Dongju." 

"I can't do it Geonhak." 

"Dongju, our baby is so close to coming home. I know it's hard for you, it's hard for me too." Geonhak squeezed Dongju's knee. "We just need to do it a bit longer. Then we'll get to bring him home and you'll forget why we were even upset." 

"I will never forget what today felt like. I never want to feel like this again." 

"Mr. Kim, Mr. Son the psychologist is waiting for your meeting." 

"Can you just give us a minute!?" Geonhak said turning to look at the secretary. 

"No it's okay, let's go talk about how that was the worst thing I've ever had to do, and I threw my twin his baby shower." Dongju said, expression hardening. Geonhak sighed, he knew that his mate was having a hard time - if it was up to Geonhak they would give Dongju more time to process this. 

The psychologist looked over at his and the social workers notes. "So today you referred to yourselves as his dads." 

"What am I supposed to do teach him to call us Geonhak and Dongju and then just be like surprise we're your parents." Dongju glared. 

"Dongju." Geonhak glared at his mate. "Sorry, the way Daekyu was struggling today has left both of us feeling on edge." 

"I wasn't saying it was a bad thing, Mr. Son. I think it is the most natural for you two to refer to yourself as his parents. You have a parental bond with him. You were very good today, both of you, when it came to calming him down. He has never had a parental bond so we think that is adding to his fear, because he doesn't know about how safe your bond is, although he also don't know what it feels like to lose a parent." 

"He can't tell us any of this." Dongju was frustrated, Geonhak could see it - he wasn't sure there would be much more point to this conversation with how frustrated the omega was. 

"I understand how frustrating this is for you Mr. Son, Daekyu is unable to communicate his emotions which is why he had that tantrum today, but you and Mr. Kim handled it well. I am going to recommend we move you so you will bring him home after your next session. I don't think there is any merit to keeping you apart and he is clearly very invested in your bond." Geonhak nodded. "I think it is more damaging for him to be apart from you. If you arrive early for your next meeting we can get the legal paperwork finalised, we will also email over some of the other files you will need." 

"This is certain?" Dongju spoke. "We will get to bring him home next time." 

"Yes, his carers will pack up the things that belong to him and we have that profile that can help you settle him, with his favourite foods and things like that."

\- ☆ - 

When the got home Geonhak wanted to speak to Dongju but the omega shut himself in Daekyu's room. Geonhak stood on the other side of the door. "Ju"

"No. You can't come in. Not until I'm finished with his room, that was the deal." Dongju said and Geonhak sat against the door. 

"Can we talk?" 

"Through the door?" 

"If you want." Dongju sighed and Geonhak head him moving to sit down. 

"Are you okay?" 

"No." Dongju said. 

"Ju." 

"No Geonhak, don't tell me it's worth it. It feels like part of me is missing." Dongju sighed, "Bonding with him is wonderful, I love him so much, but feeling his fear today made me feel sick. I never want him to be that scared ever again." 

"He won't be." Geonhak said gently. "We're bringing him home. He's coming home to us next time. Our little one is coming home." 

"You act like that will change what happened today." 

"Dongju, I know how upset you are, but we have to look after him and we have to protect him. Trust me I hated seeing him like that, he's my son too. You think I enjoy seeing him crying and being taken away from us? I just- I just want him home and I will do what it takes to get him home." 

"I just felt so helpless." Dongju said, his sadness tinting his words. "I felt like I'd failed him as a parent." 

"You didn't Dongju, if anything you were an amazing daddy to him, you helped him calm down, and you promised him that our bond would keep him safe, you told him we'll always come back for him. Because we will. We are never letting him go again." 

"I know. I just... need... some time." Geonhak imagined Dongju forcing that smile he always did when he was trying to convince him he was okay. "I will be okay once I finish the room. I just need to get all my tension out. Okay?" 

"Okay Sunflower. I'll make dinner for us later. I love you." 

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find my twitter [here](https://twitter.com/KK_Moonbeam) if you wanna chat or anything~
> 
> Also I'm so excited for the next chapter~


	15. You have my whole heart - Dongju

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, comments, kudos and hits are much appreciated and I reply to every comment, even if it's a bit late <3

Dongju picked up Daekyu carrying the 21 month old on his hip and into the house. He was very worried about overwhelming the boy who was holding onto his shirt. "This is your home Daekyu, your dad and I picked everything out thinking about this day." He smiled as he led the boy into the house, Geonhak held the door for them and Dongju couldn't help but feel relaxed once he had gotten the boy into the house. It just felt right. He took the boy up to his room, having read that it was best to get him into his room so they could get used to things, get used to the new life the three of them would have. Geonhak sat on the floor with them, he had brought what little was Daekyu's from the adoption center. Dongju sat with the boy on the floor and gave him a smile. "This is your room, dad and I picked this out because you like space." Dongju explained the blue walls, with the planets that he'd hand painted and the aliens. He had put so much work and love into the room and Daekyu seemed to be enamoured by it. 

Daekyu moved to stand up and toddled over to Geonhak, the bond between the three of them already existed, and Dongju had read every leaflet, web page and blog he could find about adopting a child over one. He knew not to expect the boy to take to them instantly, knew that there could be some hiccups along the way. Daekyu had diagnosed speech delay but they did not know if their son would struggle to open to them still. Although Dongju felt some of those fears fade away when he saw Daekyu curled against Geonhak driving a car toy on the man's leg. Dongju couldn't believe how lucky he was to get to see this exact moment. Daekyu was so cute and so soft, and it was not always going to be this - there would be tantrums and trouble but Dongju knew that even then he would still be lucky to be this little boy's daddy. "Do you want a drink Dae?" He asked and the little boy stopped driving his car to nod and then went back to driving the car and resting against Geonhak. 

Dongju came back with a drink, his son still playing with his car on Geonhak, one hand gripping Geonhak's shirt, and Dongju felt the nerves rise back up. Their son was making sure Geonhak had to stay, Dongju worried that he was not going to adjust, as if he could read his mind Geonhak gave him a little smile. "Don't worry about it." Geonhak said softly. "Daekyu, your daddy is back with your cup." The boy looked up and got up with the help of gripping onto Geonhak, he walked over and took the cup, drinking carefully. 

"Do you want us to stay and play with you?" Dongju asked softly and the boy nodded, Dongju was worried about the boy, but they were going to take it all one step at a time. Dongju couldn't help but feel his heart swell when the boy sat playing, handing them toys occasionally to play the way he wanted to. Dongju noticed that if Geonhak left then the boy would get closer to him and grip onto him, but when they were both together, he was able to relax. It just concerned Dongju, he didn't want his son to be unable to settle without them, but today was just the first day.

\- ☆ - 

"Dongju, please go to sleep." 

"I'm just-" Dongju pouted, "he doesn't like being apart from us and he fell asleep while we were still in the room. What if he wakes up and is scared?"

"Firstly, we have a baby monitor and he's asleep and secondly, you can feel him in our bond and he's just sleeping, happily." Geonhak shifted, moving to press a soft kiss to Dongju's lips, arms wrapping around him and pulling him into his arms. "Please Sunflower, I love you and I love him but we need to be rested for when he wakes up." 

"No one told me about this feeling." Dongju looked at his mate and just cuddled closer into him. "I mean, no one told me how amazing it feels to have your child sleeping in your bond. Why did Dongmyeong never tell me?" Dongju hid his face against Geonhak, he was feeling a little bit overwhelmed by the love he had for his son. 

"Well, I guess for them it's just developed, while Dongmyeong was pregnant him and Giwook started to bond with Seri, and then as she grew their bond developed and matured and they became more in tune with her needs, and the feeling of her sleeping would have developed with that, so for them it's not something they notice." Geonhak's arms were tight around him. "But for us, we've had to try to so hard, we've bonded with a toddler, so to us we have gone from nothing to this." 

"It feels so good." Dongju said softly, curling up against Geonhak. "I love you, and I love him and I feel so lucky that we finally have him home." 

"We are. We've finally got our baby home and all the hoops we had to jump through are worth it, for that little boy lying in the room near us." 

"He's worth everything." Dongju spoke quietly. They lay there in each other's arms, both of them just feeling their family bond - a bond that Dongju had thought that might never happen. He felt so lucky to have his son home and tucked into his little crib. 

He woke up to hear Daekyu crying, he wasn't screaming - but he was still crying and Geonhak got up, giving Dongju a quick kiss. "You stay here." He said gently, Geonhak padded into the other room and Dongju could see and hear the man on the baby monitor they had. He watched his son react to seeing Geonhak, sobs quietening a little bit. "Did you think your daddy and I had left my little one?" Geonhak said, moving to gently scoop the boy into his arms and gave him a gentle hug. "I know it's scary to wake up alone, isn't it? Let's go find daddy. I can show you how close we are to you all night." Dongju could see from the door that Geonhak was counting how many of his steps they were from each other, and then put Daekyu down on their bed. 

Daekyu crawled across the bed and gave Dongju a hug. "Morning Daekyu, I hope you slept well." Dongju said, it felt a little bit weird that he was speaking to a child knowing that Daekyu would probably not give him an answer but all of the information he'd seen told him that this was the best way to help encourage your child. The other metholds, he would try once they had their son settled in properly. Daekyu didn't answer but sat against Dongju while Geonhak got dressed and ready for the day. 

"I'll get Daekyu dressed and then bring him down, if you want to get ready and then do breakfast?" Geonhak smiled. "C'mon big man, lets go you dressed. I bet daddy bought so many clothes I'm going to be shocked when I open your wardrobe." Geonhak said playfully, carrying the boy off and into the bedroom - Dongju debated putting the baby monitor in to listen to them.

\- ☆ - 

After a few days they were sat together downstairs while Daekyu slept, Dongju curled into Geonhak, both of them had a glass of wine, but Dongju wasn't entirely sure he'd finish his. He pressed a kiss to Geonhak's cheek. "He's doing well." Dongju said softly. 

"He is, it really feels like he is receptive to us. I just wish there was a way to show him that we are going to be here forever, he is going to be our son forever. I know it takes time, but I wish he knew how much we love him." 

"He will." Dongju smiled, pressing another kiss to Geonhak's lips this time. "He is going to know that we wouldn't have it any other way. He is our little boy, and one day he won't even remember these days. He won't remember feeling unsure about if he can trust us enough to open himself up completely, he will just have all the memories we're going to give him, he's going to remember his first day of school, where you're for sure going to cry while you pretend you aren't. He's going to remember when he needs us and we're there the second he calls out. He's not going to remember a time where we weren't there to catch him when he falls." Dongju felt relaxed, he trusted that they would be great parents and that it would all fall into place for them properly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find my twitter [here](https://twitter.com/KK_Moonbeam) if you wanna chat or anything~


	16. Baby it's you - Geonhak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There might be a double update today bc i have like 60% of the next chapter done... 
> 
> Thank you for reading, comments, kudos and hits are much appreciated and I reply to every comment, even if it's a bit late <3

A month flew by and Geonhak had his first day back at work. He went down to the stairs and found Dongju and Daekyu having breakfast. Daekyu's smile made him want to stay home but he couldn't, Giwook had been doing most of the work and he had been doing a bit from home but it was time. They sat together, eating as a family, he smiled at Dongju gently encouraging Daekyu to try to say something. Daekyu's speech delay was a concern but it would still be a few week til their appointment. They still had to introduce him to Youngjo and Dongmyeong and then the whole pack, but Geonhak still didn't want him too unsettled. Daekyu was babbling a little bit, like he was trying to make words. "Daekyu, dad has to go to work today, so it's just going to be you and your daddy for a bit." 

"We're gonna do some finger painting baby." Dongju said trying to get his son excited. Geonhak looked at him, he knew that Dongju was concerned about Daekyu's fear of them leaving. He'd never had a parental bond before so it must be scary for him to be without one of them - and Geonhak worried that the boy would not adjust, and Dongju was doing his best at keeping their bond calm. "We're also going to do a bit of bond focusing, so he can learn that he can feel you and me even when we're not here." Dongju smiled, most children already knew how to do it naturally but that came from having a bond from birth and just knowing it was safe. Geonhak got up from the table, walking over to give Dongju a quick kiss and then kissing his son on the top of the head. 

"Be good Daekyu, I'll be back as soon as work is done." Geonhak spoke softly, not wanting his son to be concerned.

\- ☆ - 

Geonhak sat down, looking over at Giwook who was already working on a song. "Why are you here earlier than me?" 

"Seri woke up early, and Yonghoon was already up and was ready to have her - I think he's trying to convince Hyungu to change his mind on babies, and apparently Seri is the child for that."

"I mean she is very cute." 

"You're saying that because she looks like Dongmyeong and he looks like your mate. She's very... confident." 

"Of course she is. With her dads." 

"She's also very talkative, she's trying to communicate more with words, I think it's partly to do with wanting to be involved with everything - and she's just so clever, and Yonghoon loves to play word games with her." 

"We've not gotten one word out of Daekyu." Geonhak sighed, "I don't know if he can... Well we heard a few words when we visited him, but it's been a month and he's made sounds but never a word. What if we aren't... good enough for him." 

"Geonhak, he's just had a huge life change, he needs to just get his footing and before you know it, he'll be a little chatterbox, who runs through your apartment shouting 'duck' at everything." Geonhak raised a brow. "It's Seri's favourite word at the moment, everything is duck." 

"That's cute." 

"You say that, but she can't stop and if she actually sees a duck- it makes her so happy." Giwook smiled, "although she keeps trying to pet them." 

"She's going to be just like Dongmyeong," 

"I hope not. I cannot do another collection of teenage years like his." Giwook shook his head. "My mate is something else, I don't know how much Dongju has told you about when we were kids, but Dongmyeong once tried to first 3 alphas at once because they said he was weak." Geonhak smiled, he could imagine Dongmyeong trying to fight three alphas and knowing his brother-in-law he'd probably win. "Dongmyeong also struggled when he found out he was an omega... I just want my daughter to have a better time than him with that and also less fights in school and maybe if I'm really lucky better grades." Giwook sighed. "Oh and of course, she's gonna be gorgeous - so I'm going to have to keep all her potential suitors at bay." 

"Especially if she dresses like Dongmyeong, you're going to have your work cut out for you." 

"I hate you." Giwook glared a little. "My daughter is allowed to wear what she likes but we're not dating. Ever." 

"She's 1." Geonhak laughed, "and you're already this protective."

"I just want to keep her safe. I know you feel that way about Daekyu."

"If anyone upsets him, I'm going to-"

"I completely understand; although the twins might get there first." 

"Yeah, I know I think the reason they aren't alphas is because the world would never be ready for that."

\- ☆ - 

Geonhak came home and the house sounded okay, there was no screaming at least. He went in and took his coat off, walking upstairs to find Dongju and Daekyu upstairs doing a puzzle on the floor. Daekyu looked up and his face lit up. He got up and ran as fast as a toddler could, into Geonhak's arms. Geonhak held him, pressing a kiss to the top of the boys head. "Hi my little space man, have you had a good day?" The boy nodded, "were you good for your daddy?" Another nod. "Good, I'm so glad you two were okay while I was in work." 

"He was really good, he didn't cry, but he was a little bit clingy but he relaxed." Dongju got up and giving both of them a quick kiss. "I'm going to make dinner. You two be good." 

Geonhak sat with Daekyu, helping him finish the puzzle. He knew the child was intelligent, he could see that from him working on the puzzle, but he just didn't speak. Geonhak wanted to know why, he had read that there were many reasons but some of them were serious, some of them could never be fixed. Geonhak didn't care if Daekyu didn't ever learn to talk, he wanted him to talk because he wanted all the opportunities to be open to him, but if Daekyu couldn't he would do everything he could to help the boy achieve whatever he wanted in his life. He loved him so much. 

After they'd read him to bed Geonhak was stood in their kitchen while Dongju was choosing what artisanal hot chocolate they were going to drink. "We need to talk about Dae's speech." 

"Geonhak." Dongju sighed, "I don't know what you want us to do, we can't make him talk, if he doesn't want to, he won't. We have to give him time to adjust." 

"I want to take him to a doctor." 

"He's just been adopted." 

"If we can help him we need to." 

"I'm not saying you're wrong, I just think we should focus on one thing at a time. Our son is home, let's get him fully settled in the pack and then think about it. Maybe when he's settled he's going to start talking - I don't want to take him to more doctors appointments than he needs - I don't want him getting overwhelmed and stressed." 

"Dongju." 

"Don't pressure it." Dongju said, wrapping his arms around Geonhak and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "Just focus on how amazing it is, we finally have our baby home. He's settling in, and Geonhak, I wish you'd seen him today." Dongju gave him another kiss. "He was able to focus on the bond, and when I asked if he could feel you, he nodded. He was able to start to understand that we are always with him. That our bond will keep him safe."

\- ☆ - 

When Youngjo first came into the house at the weekend, Daekyu hid behind Dongju, until the omega picked him up, holding him close and whispering gently to soothe him. "He's pretty shy." Geonhak said quietly and Youngjo just nodded, moving to sit down. 

"Hi Daekyu, I'm your pack alpha." 

"It's your uncle Youngjo who runs our pack and is going to make sure you stay safe." Dongju said and sat down, letting the other go, although the boy held onto him still, but he was watching Youngjo. 

"I'm going to keep you and your dad and daddy safe. Daekyu, I am here to look after you all." Youngjo spoke softly, gently coaxing the child. "My mate and I bought you a few outfits to celebrate you joining our pack. We are all very excited for you to join us." Daekyu just kept his eyes on Youngjo, although one of his hands was gripped onto Dongju's shirt. 

"He's not upset." Dongju said softly, gently stroking the boys hair. "He can't talk, so he can't tell you what he's thinking but he feels okay in our bond." 

"I can feel him in our pack bond." Youngjo said with a smile, "he's accepting his place in our pack." 

"Other kids just know to bond with their pack alpha." Dongju said quietly and Geonhak eyed him. 

"Sunflower, other kids are born into pack bonds." 

"He's doing good." Youngjo said warmly, "Once he feels safe in the pack bond it will be easier for the others to help you two and it will help him feel completely settled." 

After a while Daekyu let go of Dongju's shirt, he moved carefully to crawl off Dongju and try to get off the sofa. Dongju moved to help the boy and watched him toddle off to go get a toy. He sat on the floor and began playing. "He's settled." Dongju said quietly, "next time, I'm sure he'll be more affectionate."

"It's fine." Youngjo smiled, "I just want him to feel settled." Youngjo watched the child and Geonhak knew that Youngjo was thinking about his own options regarding children. "Is he being okay for you?"

"Yeah, he's settled in well. I just wish we could get him to talk more." Geonhak said gently, watching as the boy played. "I hate that I don't know why he doesn't talk, and I hate that he can't tell me how he feels and it makes my heart ache knowing that our son-" 

"Hak." Dongju interrupted, Daekyu had stopped playing and was watching his dad. Daekyu looked back down at the toy in his hand and Geonhak felt his heart hurt. He knew he'd let his emotions into the bond, he knew the boy didn't really know what was going on, or understand how to process them. Geonhak got up and went to pick up the boy. 

"I'm sorry baby." Geonhak said gently, holding Daekyu against him. "Dad is just frustrated at the moment, he's not angry with you." Geonhak said as the boy held onto him, he was sniffing slightly and Geonhak was going to cry if his baby did. "I'm frustrated because I just want everything to be perfect for you." Geonhak hummed, gently rocking him. The boy held him gently and could feel Youngjo them watching him, he was unsure if Youngjo was concerned about their child or if he was envious that Geonhak and Dongju finally had their family started and he was still unsure of if there would be a family and how. "I love you, Kim Daekyu." Geonhak affirmed and went to sit down, still holding the boy, kissing the top of his head. Daekyu relaxed a little and Geonhak let the boy play with his fingers. 

"He's really attached to you." Youngjo smiled. 

"We're lucky." Dongju nodded. "He took to our bond very well, when we had his evaluation they said he's almost fully bonded, as if we'd been able to carry him." Dongju looked at Daekyu. "I knew since the day we met him that I was put on this earth to be his daddy. I know it makes no sense because I never carried him - but nearly two years ago someone gave birth to the boy who was meant to be my son, and I can never thank them - but I am so thankful that they brought him into the world. I'm just sorry that we couldn't get to him sooner." 

"His speech will improve." Youngjo said softly. "Don't worry too much."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find my twitter [here](https://twitter.com/KK_Moonbeam) if you wanna chat or anything~


	17. Faking it til we make it - Dongju

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently I cannot find my chill. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, comments, kudos and hits are much appreciated and I reply to every comment, even if it's a bit late <3

Dongju was nervous for Seri coming over, what if the kids didn't like each other? How would he ever get past that if him and his twin's kids couldn't get on. Geonhak came down with Daekyu dressed in a really cute outfit that Dongju knew had been bought by Youngjo. "Are we having fashion wars with Dongmyeong?" 

"I just thought he looked so cute in this." Geonhak grinned, putting Daekyu down so he could play. "Don't be so nervous." Geonhak said, wrapping an arm around him and kissing his cheek. "It's going to be great. Our little man is going to have so much fun playing with his baby cousin." 

"What if they don't like each other?" 

It turned out that that was not something he had to worry about. Seri and Daekyu took to each other almost instantly, and Dongju felt his heart swelling just watching them playing together. He was also surprised to see just how affectionate Dongmyeong and Giwook were being, it was weird to imagine there had been a time where his twin had fought against his bond. "They're so cute." Giwook commented, arm around Dongmyeong who was sat against him, head resting on his shoulder. "I was a bit worried she'd overpower him with her personality." 

"Hey~" Dongmyeong laughed, "that's our daughter." 

"She's like you, she's got a strong personality and I love it but Dongju's been telling us how shy Daekyu is so I was just concerned." Giwook said, although they were both still laughing. Dongju couldn't help but smile seeing them together. He didn't ask his twin often about his relationship with Giwook - because he really didn't need to know when he could literally see how happy Dongmyeong was. 

"Who has he met?" 

"Just Youngjo and you." Geonhak said, "he took to Youngjo quickly, so we are pretty sure that we can introduce him to the pack and once he's settled in the pack we're going to do grandparents, but we're a little nervous." 

"Our mom?" Dongmyeong said with a shrug. 

"We just don't know how it's going to go. Your parents were happy but also I don't think they really understood." Geonhak said and Dongju just turned into his partner, he hated this. 

"It's my fault." Dongju said quietly. 

"It's not Ju." Dongmyeong said softly. "You can't help that you two couldn't get pregnant and honestly I can see how much Daekyu loves you already, you guys are his parents." 

"I never told them we were struggling. So the adoption came out of nowhere." 

"You don't have to tell any of us about that. It's between you two. Just like it wasn't mom and dad's business when I didn't take the mate bond the second we all turned 18." Dongmyeong gave him a small smile. "Hey, think of it this way, she can't come over a month after you've just had a baby at the end of a pretty traumatic pregnancy and delivery and just tell you that you're holding your daughter wrong and relying on your alpha too much."

\- ☆ - 

Dongmyeong was helping him cut up the fruit for the kids to eat. "How are you doing?" Dongmyeong said gently, like he was trying not to start a fight. 

"Mom hasn't been round to tell me I'm parenting wrong yet, so we're doing good." 

"Well - I meant how are you feeling. I felt really overwhelmed when we first had Seri. I know you planned for him but we had months for her and I still felt like I wasn't ready enough. I struggled a lot with her at first - you know Giwook is a natural parent and I'm... not." 

"You're a great parent, but I am finding it hard but I wouldn't change it. I love him and we're learning together. He's never had a parental bond and I've never had a child bond so it's both of us working together and I just want him happy and I love him so much." 

"I'm glad you're doing good, if it ever gets overwhelming you can always call me or Giwook and we can come get him and take him off your hands for a few hours. I offer because I know he's shy." 

"I'm sure Youngjo would have him or one of the others, but thanks... I'm glad that we have this kind of support. He is our baby and I was so afraid that people wouldn't see us the same as they see you and Seri." 

Before Dongmyeong could answer Giwook came in. "Dongju, I think you need to go out there and watch the kids." 

"Are they okay?" 

"Yes. Just go watch, I'll cut the fruit." Giwook came in and took the knife.

Dongju walked a little apprehensively, not sure what he was going to walk into. He saw the kids sat on the rug, toys around them as they played with toys. Seri doing her best to speak for her character. Geonhak looked at him and signalled for him to sit. Dongju sat and before he ask Geonhak what was going on. He heard, "We go." then watched as the kids pretended their characters were going somewhere else. 

"He can talk" Dongju breathed out. Geonhak taking his hand and giving it a squeeze. 

"He can." Geonhak said quietly, not wanting to distract the children from their conversation. "He can talk, we just have to keep encouraging him." Dongju lent on Geonhak, watching their son as he played with Seri. 

"I told you not to worry too much."

\- ☆ - 

Meeting the rest of the pack was easy, with Daekyu accepting Youngjo, it made the rest of the pack unintimidating for the boy, and Dongju was surprised when a few weeks later Seoho came over and Daekyu just climbed up into the man's lap, sitting on him so he could watch Hercules. "We normally don't have this much TV time, but he's been in a terrible mood today and I can't get him to settle." Dongju said by way of explanation. 

"He just needs a cuddle with Uncle Seoho." Seoho grinned, holding the little boy gently. Daekyu gripping onto his plushie seahorse too, the boy was clearly comfortable. 

"You're really good with him." Dongju commented, as the little one just settled to watch and stop being fussy. "It's-" 

"Don't tell me it's a shame I broke up with Youngjo because we'd already have a family." Seoho said quietly. 

"I wasn't- I was just going to say, it's a shame that this society has put barriers in your way." Dongju sighed softly. "Our agency required a mate bond for adoption." 

"So do over half the agencies in the city." Seoho said with a shrug. "I mean, my best chance was when we found out about Dongmyeong, that's probably the closest I'll ever get, thinking someone was having my baby when actually it was someone else's." Seoho hummed, loosening his hold so Daekyu could sway to the music. "I am pretty happy being everyone's cool uncle. With you and Geonhak and Youngjo and Hwanwoong, I'm sure I'm going to have plenty of kids to spoil." 

"They're not-" 

"I know, Hwanwoong told me about how he feels, but that doesn't mean we won't have more precious babies join our pack like Daekyu." Seoho grinned. "I am okay with it. I knew when I realised that I don't feel omegas that it meant something, that it meant that I wasn't going to do the whole mate and baby thing. Youngjo and I were looking into our options but I don't know if I could ever get to that place again with an alpha." 

"Not everyone is Youngjo." 

"I am happy where I am. I have a pack and i get to come over to get cuddles from a very cute toddler and I don't have to deal with the tantrums." He laughed. Dongju looked at his son who was just watching the tv. 

"Daekyu wants you to be happy." 

"I am happy." Seoho said softly, arms wrapping around Daekyu against tighter for a hug, laughing a little when the boy made a noise to complain. "Oh he's like you, only wants cuddles when he wants it." 

"He just knows what he wants, for a child who doesn't talk he's very determined." Dongju shook his head. "He gets annoyed with us when we don't know what he wants. Geonhak wants to get help for him, but he can talk, well he can speak a bit, when he met Seri they talked together, and I just wish I could hear him talk more." 

"Maybe he finds it easier with Seri, like there isn't that pressure to speak." Seoho said gently. "You don't know what it was like for him in the group centre, and maybe there was pressure to talk, or punishments and he's just got a little block speaking to his dads but Seri is another kid, and she's very talkative so she brings him out of his shell." Dongju paused, he'd never thought of it like that. 

"How can I fix that?" Dongju said quietly. 

"It's not fixing it, sure the doctor will help him with speech but maybe make it fun." Seoho said with a shrug. "I'm not a doctor though, I work in a media company."

\- ☆ - 

They were lying in bed wrapped in the blanket, Dongju kissing Geonhak softly. "Hak, I've been thinking." Dongju mumbled between kisses. "I love you." He laughed when Geonhak pulled him closer. 

"And again?" 

"We're parents now, we need to change the bedding for tomorrow, shower and get changed." Dongju laughed, although made no move to stop the kisses. "But I agree we should have him seen for his speech - but I think at home we need to work on confidence with him." 

"Are you bringing this up now because you know I'll give you anything you want?" 

"You'd give me anything I wanted no matter when I asked."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find my twitter [here](https://twitter.com/KK_Moonbeam) if you wanna chat or anything~


	18. My Heart Is Yours - Geonhak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, comments, kudos and hits are much appreciated and I reply to every comment, even if it's a bit late <3

Geonhak pressed a quick kiss to Dongju's lips as they sat in the driveway of his parents. "Ready to meet your grandparents?" Geonhak said playfully to Daekyu in the back, the boy nodded and Geonhak smiled. "Your daddy is a bit nervous but don't you worry okay?" The boy nodded again. They got out of the car and Geonhak grabbed the bag that Dongju had packed for their first trip out. Dongju unfastened the boy and had him on his hip, carrying him to the house. Geonhak gently fixed the boy's hair as they waited for his parents to answer the door. 

Geonhak smiled warmly when his mom answered the door and her eyes lit up looking at Daekyu. "This must be our little Daekyu." She grinned, bringing them in. Dongju put Daekyu down on the ground, letting the boy walk around. "He's very cute." Geonhak's mom said watching as he played happily by himself. 

"Is Minhyun here?" 

"Yeah, we didn't know how settled he'd feel so we thought we'd wait a bit, your brother is with him in his room." 

"He's quite a bit older than Daekyu so I'm not sure they'll play together." 

Dongju was anxious in their bond, and Geonhak kept his hand on Dongju's knee, trying to ground him. Minhyun might have already been in school but he came out and sat on the floor with Daekyu playing with him. Dongju kept his eyes on the cousins, Geonhak knew it would take a bit for Dongju to relax and accept that the other would be okay playing with his big cousin. "It will get easier to relax around other people-" Geonhak's mom said softly. 

"He's-" Geonhak began but felt Dongju squeeze his hand when Daekyu mumbled a few words to his big cousin. 

"Seoho was right." 

"Seoho?" Geonhak said quietly. 

"He said that maybe Daekyu struggles to talk to adults but feels more comfortable with other kids." Geonhak nodded, not entirely sure how he could explain this to his parents. 

"Daekyu doesn't talk, well he did to Seri - Dongju's twin's daughter and he's talking to Minhyun but he struggles to talk to us or anyone else, and we've been trying to work out what we should do about this issue. We really need him to be able to tell us when he wants things or needs things. He gets really frustrated with us not knowing what he wants." Geonhak explained. 

"He'll open up to you two, you're doing the best you can for him." 

"I knew adoption wouldn't all be easy, but without the talking. I don't know mom, I'm afraid I'm not enough." Dongju stopped looking at Daekyu playing for a second and looked at Geonhak. 

"Don't say that Hak." Dongju said gently. 

"You two are excellent parents, you just need to give him time." Geonhak's dad said and Geonhak could just see Dongju looking at him.

\- ☆ - 

Daekyu was down for his nap and Dongju came down to find Geonhak at the kitchen table with his laptop. "Hak, can we talk?" Dongju spoke softly, and Geonhak already knew it would be about what had been said earlier. "I want to talk about what you said." 

"What if we can't get him to start talking?" Geonhak said shutting his laptop, Dongju moved to wrap his arms around Geonhak and just held him close. "What if we just aren't good enough? What if I'm not enough for our family?" Dongju just held him close. 

"Hak, you're amazing, you're such a good dad for him." Dongju pressed a kiss to the man's cheek. "You're everything to me and Daekyu." Dongju kept his arms around him. "Our boy is going to talk to us, but our little one needs us to keep trying. He needs to know that he's 100% safe with us and we're going to look after him no matter what. He can talk, which is the most important thing. He talks with other children and we will do as many playdates with Seri and Minhyun as we can and I know it's so hard to just sit there while he gets frustrated." He held him closer. "Please, don't ever think him not talking is a reflection on you." 

"You're just such a good daddy to him, so it can only be me." 

"It's not. Our son has trauma from adoption." Dongju said softly. "Even when you adopt babies they can carry trauma with them. We don't know what it was like for him and how he felt before he met us. We don't know how many other parents he met and they didn't like him, or he wasn't the right fit. We don't know what it was like for him with the carers or the other kids. We also don't know how never having a parental bond has affected him. It's the natural calling for a baby to make their parent bond. I will show you all the articles I've read. I know you did some research but we just need to be understanding and look after him." 

"I just need him to be okay. I don't want to let him down." 

"You aren't." Dongju said gently. "We can only do our best and you are the best for us." 

"I love him so much Dongju, I just don't want him to be afraid of opening up his heart to us." 

"One day, these moments will seem so long ago. He's ours and we're going to raise him for the rest of his life and he's going to know he can trust us."

\- ☆ - 

"So my brother can't bring his boyfriend to Daekyu's birthday." Geonhak said as he looked at the names that Dongju had written down for Daekyu's birthday. 

"No. He gets overwhelmed and it's already going to be a lot of people without new people." 

"But Giwook can come?" 

"Seri is coming, and he's Dongmyeong's true mate. Plus Daekyu has met Giwook before." Dongju sighed. "I've also told Keonhee he can't bring Yunho. It's just... Daekyu still gets overwhelmed and it's his birthday. I dont want to spend it with him being too overwhelmed to enjoy it."

"I'll tell him." Geonhak said gently. "I don't know if my brother will come without his boyfriend but my parents will bring Minhyun, and it's what is important for our son." 

"I'm inviting my parents... We need to go see them before the birthday." 

"I agree, but you're the one who keeps putting off going." 

"I'm afraid they won't understand." Dongju shifted. "It's my fault they don't. I was too afraid to tell them about us struggling to get pregnant, so I didn't give them enough time to get used to the idea." Geonhak gently stroked the man's back. "I didn't want to tell anyone when we were struggling. As if saying out loud would make it real. If I just never said it, I thought maybe it wouldn't be happening and I kept telling myself, next time, next time I'll get pregnant. Next time it be a positive. We just have have more sex, sex in different positions, sex at different times. I wanted to fix it before anyone knew." 

"I know, you didn't want to accept we were struggling to conceive, I didn't want to tell people either. It felt like I was failing you. That I couldn't give you the one thing you wanted and I couldn't protect you from the pain you were in. I was so scared that I was losing you, which is why I told my parents, I needed to find out how to fix it." Geonhak wrapped Dongju in his arms, and kissed his cheek gently. "I didn't know how to stop your pain and I was afraid." 

"I was scared to tell you." Dongju said quietly, "but now we have Daekyu. Everything we went through still hurts, but not the same way. We have our family, our son and he's honestly-" Dongju smiled to himself. "He was meant to be ours." 

"Completely."

\- ☆ - 

Geonhak couldn't help but laugh when his son giggled, they were just messing around with the toys while Dongju cooked. Geonhak moved to tickle the boy, he loved this sound, and Daekyu rolled around and playfully tried to grab his hands. "Dad!" he said between laughs. Geonhak paused, his son just said his name and it was the best thing he'd ever heard. Geonhak didn't want to make a big deal out of it but it was a big deal, a huge deal. His son spoke to him. "Dad!" Daekyu said pushing himself up and trying to grab his hands more, letting Geonhak pull him into a cuddle. 

"Yes Dae?" Geonhak asked. "You want to play more with the tickle monster~" Geonhak grinned tickling the boy again, and making him giggle more. Even if he never heard it again, he was glad he got to hear it once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find my twitter [here](https://twitter.com/KK_Moonbeam) if you wanna chat or anything~


	19. Safe in my Arms - Dongju

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, comments, kudos and hits are much appreciated and I reply to every comment, even if it's a bit late <3

Dongju was sat feeding Daekyu, praising him for trying new foods. Daekyu was a good eater, but he could be a little bit fussy and when he decided he didn't like anything. Dongju felt a little jealous that Daekyu said dad first, especially when he was the one doing the most childcare - which was his choice, he wanted it like this. He could go back to work like his brother had, but he didn't want to. He wanted to do this. He just felt like daddy should have come before dad. But he also knew that Geonhak had really needed that moment, his alpha had been stressed about their son's lack of verbal communication. 

"Daddy." Dongju was surprised that he said it. Daekyu was pouting at him, one hand reaching towards the food. "Daddy." He repeated, with far more pout than Dongju wanted to hear. He moved to give his son another spoonful of the yogurt. 

"Sorry, Daddy was just thinking about what we should do after~" Dongju said cheerfully, he couldn't believe that his son started calling him daddy. "Do you want to do some playdough?" Daekyu nodded.

\- ☆ - 

"So he said Daddy today." Dongju told Geonhak with a grin after they put Daekyu down to sleep. "He's accepting us, he's finally accepted that we aren't going anywhere and that we love him so much."

"I still want to see a professional." Geonhak said softly. "Maybe they'll be able to help us create an even more supportive environment for him and maybe teach him some signs, so he can communicate better with us until his speaking starts happening more naturally." 

"I agree. I am pretty sure our little one is going to be okay." Dongju said gently, giving Geonhak a kiss. "I was thinking we should see my parents this weekend. Dongmyeong took Seri last week - and they asked him if he'd met Daekyu so clearly we need to go." 

"They're his grandparents, Sunflower." 

"I'm just afraid that he wont be fully accepted by them." 

"They're going to love him. He's their grandson." Geonhak pressed a quick kiss to Dongju's lips. "You need to stop being hard on yourself about our fertility." He said gently. "We have discussed this, you did _nothing_ wrong, and we were put on this earth to Daekyu's parents, I have forgotten what our life was like before we met him." 

"Tidier... Our house was tidier." Dongju laughed, trying to pick up some of the toys. "It was tidier but quieter, and sometimes it felt so empty without him. Our bond was so ready for a child, and we were just trying our best to get by with that hole in our heart, but now." Dongju stopped and smiled when Geonhak pulled him in for a hug. "Now, it feels full of love, it feels like we finally have that missing piece in our bond, he fills our bond and we surround him with love, we love him and he loves us and it's the best feeling of my life. I'm so exhausted some days, and he can be so demanding and crazy and I don't know what to do with him because what does he want from me? But I would never change our son. I just wish we had gotten him earlier." 

"I know Dongju." 

"I kinda knew I was infertile just after Seoho and Youngjo broke up." Dongju had never told Geonhak this story, but he wanted to tell him now, he sat down with Geonhak and kept his hand in Geonhak's. "I was sure I was pregnant, I'd been feeling all those early symptoms, and my heat had been delayed and I was just so sure. I took a test and it was negative and I was sure that was a false negative so I took 3 more." Dongju looked at their hands, still not sure he could look at his partner for this. "I don't really know what happened, I just remember that I was on the floor in our bathroom crying and Seoho came in. He'd been listening to that song he played after the breakup on repeat all day and you were at work and I was on the floor and he calmed me down and then set about cleaning me and the bathroom up. Helping to put me back together. When he had sort of finished, and was just sat with me, not pressuring me to talk. I asked him, "what if I can't have children?" and you know what Seoho said to me? He told me that if I wasn't able to get pregnant, there would be another way, because he just knew we were meant to have kids. Daekyu... we could have gotten him when he was only months old and we could have given him that security and love and maybe he'd be talking by now." 

"Dongju, we had to go through that pain and healing, we had to get to a place where we were in a position where we could bring him into our bond and just pour our love into him, helping him to heal from his trauma too. We couldn't help guide him through his fears, if we were still unable to deal with our own."

\- ☆ - 

Dongju was sat in his parents house, wishing he'd timed this visit with Dongmyeong's so Daekyu could play with someone and his parents might not notice that Daekyu didn't talk. Daekyu was sat on Geonhak, playing with one of his astronaut toys, humming to himself as he did. Geonhak's arm was gently around the boy and Dongju felt bad, he knew the alpha was reacting to his anxiety, and was unable to put their son on the ground because Dongju was too stressed, so all his senses were screaming danger. "Can we see our grandson?" Dongju's father spoke, and watched Geonhak, Dongju pressed his lips together, trying to focus on calming their bond.

"Sorry." Dongju said, "We're just very... protective of him." 

"I'm his grandad, I'm not going to hurt him." 

"We know." Geonhak said, the bond wasn't calm enough for him to hand Daekyu to another person. "We just need him to settle down into this new place." Geonhak's hand on his leg gave it a squeeze. "We just have really struggled with him and new people." Geonhak lied fluidly, he had been receptive to new people in small groups, he only got scared and overwhelmed of big groups, although when he'd met Hwanwoong, he'd spent the first few minutes hiding behind Geonhak, and just peeking at him. Dongju was pretty sure that was because Hwanwoong was anxious too. 

"Has he been settling in well?" Dongju's mom spoke. "He seems very attached to Geonhak." 

"He's very attached to both of us." Geonhak spoke, "he spends his days with Dongju and I get to come home to see what they've been doing, at the moment he's really into playdough." Geonhak grinned. "He's also accepted our pack, he took to Youngjo straight away and he loves his other uncles. He hasn't met Dongmyeong's pack yet, just Dongmyeong, Giwook and Seri. We should have timed our visits so the cousins could play together, he loves spending time with Seri and they always seem to have fun." 

"How has your pack taken to him?" 

"They love him." Dongju said with a small smile. "I think they're all competing to be the favourite uncle. Since he doesn't have any packmates currently, and we might be the only ones who do have kids, so they all are really trying." 

"Hyungu's mother told us that he was getting married to that beta, Yonghoon." 

"Yes, they're getting married." Dongju said, smiling when Geonhak helped the boy down and went over to meet his grandparents. Daekyu sat easily on his grandfather, still playing with his toy. "But from what Dongmyeong told us, he is still unsure about children." 

"Well Hyungu's mother had been under the impression that he was with Harin. She'd noticed an incomplete alpha bite on his arm." 

"Dongmyeong would know more about that." Dongju said, wanting to get away from this topic, the closer they got to discussing the unconventional relationship in Dongmyeong's pack, the more they would get close to finding out about Seoho and Dongju could not stand for any of his pack to be questioned, especially not in front of his child. "Hyungu seems happy though, and that's what matters most right?"

\- ☆ - 

As they drove back Daekyu fell asleep in his seat, holding onto his plush. "Hak." Dongju said softly, turning down the radio. "I just, if Daekyu grows up and he's like Seoho - and has feelings for his own secondary gender - you'll still love him right?"

"Of course I will Dongju, I will love him no matter what, if he likes alphas, betas, omegas, all, none, whatever, I will love him as long as they treat him well, then I don't care who they are." 

"And if he's like Hyungu and has a beta and an alpha?" 

"I don't care, as long as they treat him well and no one is getting hurt." Geonhak took a slow breath, "and I don't care if he gives us grandchildren or not, I just want him as happy as he can be. I just love him so much." 

"I just wanted to check." Dongju said with a small smile. "I needed to make sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find my twitter [here](https://twitter.com/KK_Moonbeam) if you wanna chat or anything~


	20. The Greatest Thing I achieved was you - Geonhak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, comments, kudos and hits are much appreciated and I reply to every comment, even if it's a bit late <3 
> 
> There is some almost smut at the end of this ch too.

The birthday party was stressful, Geonhak wasn't really a fan of parties and it appeared that neither was his son, who was currently sat on Giwook, hiding on his uncle who just had him wrapped up in a tight hug. Geonhak went over and sat next to them, Daekyu crawled over to him and held him close, hand gripping onto his shirt. "I don't think he's a fan of crowds." Giwook said gently. 

"Dae." Geonhak said gently. "You like everyone here, you've met them all and you _love_ them when it's just them and us, it's the same here. Seri is having a lot of fun, don't you want to join your cousin and have fun?" He asked and he felt Daekyu nodding against his chest. "Why don't you go play with Seri?" The boy very reluctantly let go of his shirt, and climbed off him going to sit with his cousin and play. 

"Seri will look after him." Giwook said with a smile. "Dongmyeong already told her like five times in the car that her cousin might be nervous and she has to be a big girl and show him how much fun parties are." 

"He does know she's younger than him." 

"Yeah, but she's so much more confident so he thinks she should be a leader." Giwook smiled a little, "She's one and he's already decided she's meant to be an alpha." 

"I still think he's an omega because the world was not ready for that much power in an alpha." Geonhak laughed. 

"I grew up planning on being his omega, so I can't say he wouldn't have made a formidable alpha. But I think we're all where we're meant to be, and he's finally happy where he is." Giwook said looking over at Dongmyeong who appeared to be interrogating Seoho - which Geonhak assumed was about the guy he was seeing. "I just want Seri to grow up happy to be whatever she is. How's Daekyu been, got him to settle at night?" 

"Yeah. He's sleeping better, so we will be doing the music show. Next task is getting Dongju to pick who is going to have Daekyu for the night." 

"Dongmyeong always knew it would Yonghoon would would babysit for us." 

"Our problem is, we have Youngjo our pack leader and Seoho who is closest to Dongju. Youngjo isn't going to the awards show, something about keeping the mystery. I think he's going to pick Seoho, but I'm not sure." 

Dongju moved easily through the party, talking to everyone, thanking them all for coming - and Geonhak could just see their future of birthday parties with Daekyu's classmates coming. He just knew other kids would love Dongju, that they would see him as a cool dad. Dongju came over and easily swept up the boy, carrying him on his hip. Geonhak got up, moving to their kitchen to get the cake ready, he smiled when he saw Dongmyeong in there setting up. "I thought you were never gonna get the hint." Dongmyeong teased. "You know this has to be perfect for Dongju." Geonhak nodded and lit the two candles on the space ship cake. 

"Let's go." Geonhak brought the cake out, everyone singing for his son - a feeling he had never imagined he would experience, and he could feel how happy they were, he could just feel happiness in their bond and he knew they were flooding the pack bond - but he didn't care. Dongju helped Daekyu blow out the candles and then held the boy close. Geonhak took a picture with his phone, knowing this moment was one he wanted to keep forever. Dongju came over with the boy and pulled Geonhak close for a family cuddle, they held their little boy, sharing the joy of this moment while Dongmyeong began cutting the cake to allow them the privacy of this moment. 

"You're my big boy." Dongju said softly, pressing a kiss to his son's cheek. "I love you, I love you so much." 

"Look how big you are, you're our big two year old." Geonhak took the boy and bounced him a little. "Shall we eat some cake?" 

"Dad!" 

"Is that a yes Daekyu?" Geonhak laughed and the boy nodded. He sat with the boy on his lap helping his little boy to eat cake, arm around the boy tightly. It was hard to imagine that a year ago they were still struggling to reconcile what adoption would mean for them, they were afraid they would never find the boy who was meant to be with them. Here he was sat with his son, forever grateful that this day existed and that he was brought into the world.

\- ☆ - 

Geonhak didn't know what to do, Seoho was downstairs playing with Daekyu and Geonhak was upstairs sat on their bed watching Dongju fix his makeup as if they weren't already running late. "Dongmyeong is doing his own look for tonight." Dongju said under his breath. "Like his brother isn't a makeup artist." 

"Well you'll be the one everyone is looking at." Geonhak said, and he meant it, the other was stunning, he was gorgeous, Geonhak wasn't even sure how he had gotten so lucky to have this man love him. Dongju was breath taking without the makeup, he was stunning even on the days when they'd barely slept. Dongju shined with a light from the inside, he was a warm person who cared so much about others and he was truly the most beautiful person Geonhak had ever met. "I love you Dongju." 

"I love you too." Dongju said putting his makeup brush down. "I'm ready." This was the first time since Daekyu had come home that Dongju had gotten all dressed up with his makeup done. When they went back down Daekyu came running over, and Dongju swept him up into a tight hug. 

"Daddy!" 

"Yes, little man daddy looks really pretty doesn't he." Geonhak said with a grin. "Are you gonna be good for Uncle Seoho tonight? Are you going to sleep like a big boy for him?" Daekyu nodded vigorously, before going back to just staring at Dongju's makeup. He'd never seen his daddy like this, and while Dongju didn't do his own makeup like this very often, it was a very 'Dongju' look, it was very on trend and complimented his features easily. 

"We're gonna have fun, don't worry." Seoho said coming over, although Dongju made no move to let go of the boy. 

"You have my number-"

"Of course I do, and Geonhak's and if I need I'll call Giwook or Dongmyeong or the venue. I know all the emergency numbers, you made the whole pack learn how to do baby CPR. I know the foods he likes to eat, I know what he doesn't like and I know that he's allergic to mushrooms - although why I'd give him a mushroom at this time. I know his favourite tv show. I know that he only sleeps with that plushie you gave him and I know that he loves me and that this is a big step for you two. Leaving him with me for the night, but you can get him as soon as you want in the morning. Go and have the best time." Seoho moved to take Daekyu, and Geonhak focused his energy on keeping the bond calm as they left. 

Dongju was quiet in the car and Geonhak knew he was over thinking. "Seoho has him." 

"What if he's crying?" 

"He has Seoho to look after him and you know if Seoho thinks he's too distressed that he will call us, this is good for Daekyu and us." Geonhak said, parking outside Dongmyeong and Giwook's. "He needs to be okay without us. And we need to be okay leaving him with our pack. If we can't leave him with our pack, school is going to be really distressing." Dongju nodded. 

They got out and walked in to see Giwook pacing in the hallway. "Ignore him he's nervous." Dongmyeong said coming into the hallway. "And you're late which has just made him pace more." 

They got into their hire car and Dongmyeong sat in the car cuddled into Giwook, trying his best to calm the alpha. Dongju was quiet, and Geonhak knew he was sat just focussing on the bond with Daekyu. "Stop it." Geonhak said against his ear. "I love you, but you have to stop thinking about him, let him have fun with Seoho." 

"How do you do it?" Dongju blurted out and Dongmyeong shifted to look at them. 

"How do I do what? You calm Geonhak down in your own way." 

"No. I mean. Seri. How do you just leave her?" 

"Okay, we're not abandoning our daughter. She's with Yonghoon, so I know she's safe. You've left Daekyu with Seoho right?" Dongju nodded, "Well would Seoho ever let Daekyu get hurt?" 

"No." 

"Would Seoho call you if anything serious happened?" 

"Of course." 

"Does Daekyu know he's safe with Seoho?" 

"Yes." 

"That's how I can be calm leaving Seri. Yonghoon would do whatever he could to protect her, he would call us if it was serious and Seri knows she is safe, he is pack." 

"It also gets easier the more you do it. The first day we had to leave her with Yonghoon, I was worried that he would forget something or she'd have some sort of freak accident but it will be okay Dongju." Giwook said gently. "Plus you have to think that you and Geonhak will be better parents after you've had this night out to remember who you are when you aren't his dads." 

"Once we do it this time, it will be easier." Geonhak said, holding him tightly. Dongju shifted a little more easily to rest against him. 

They walked the red carpet and Geonhak felt a little overwhelmed, surprised that him and Giwook were a novelty, a writing/producing duo who were mated to twins. Dongju was natural in front of the cameras and without him Geonhak wasn't sure he would have been able to make it down the red carpet.

\- ☆ - 

They got home and Geonhak took his coat off, laughing when Dongju pulled him down for a kiss. Geonhak holding him close, before using his strength to pick Dongju up, the omega wrapping his legs around Geonhak's hips letting him carry up the stairs. Dongju was peppering kisses over his face, this was so different to whenever they had been together since the adoption, that was all quick touches and usually just hands, gasping against each other to not disturb Daekyu and now they had all night for each other. Geonhak got them in the bed, kissing Dongju romantically. 

Dongju moved his hands easily undoing Geonhak's tie, starting to work on the buttons of his shirt, exposing almost all of his chest down to his naval before Geonhak pulled back. "Who said dad's aren't sexy?" Dongju breathed out, watching Geonhak. Geonhak just wanted to take his time with the man under him. 

"How attached to this shirt are you?" Geonhak breathed out and Dongju's breath hitched. 

"Are you going to rip it open?" He bit his lip, God he was a tease, Geonhak took that as his answer, ripping the shirt open. Dongju lifted his hips up, making the prettiest sound Geonhak had ever heard in the world. He moved his to kiss down Dongju's newly exposed chest. Dongju's hand in the back of his hair, giving it a soft tug.

\- ☆ - 

It was his third knot and Dongju had his arm over his eyes. Geonhak moved to press a kiss to their bite. "Dongju." 

"It's been so long." Dongju breathed, "Since we've had as much time as we need." He moved his arm, makeup smudged, hair messed up. Geonhak knew he had bite marks all over him but he didn't care. 

"We were celebrating." 

"My award winning mate." Dongju grinned. "I don't care if technically Youngjo won." Dongju pulled him a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find my twitter [here](https://twitter.com/KK_Moonbeam) if you wanna chat or anything~


	21. You brought light into my life - Dongju

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, comments, kudos and hits are much appreciated and I reply to every comment, even if it's a bit late <3

Dongju woke up, he was wrapped up in Geonhak's arms, his own leg around the other man's hip. He looked at his alpha sleeping. He could feel Daekyu in their bond, clearly happy - he imagined that Seoho was probably feeding him and letting him play with all the toys. Seoho loved playing with Daekyu, and Dongju felt so lucky to have the amazing support system that he had. Geonhak looked so peaceful, it was nice to just have this moment. 

Geonhak's arms tightened around Dongju. "Please let us sleep just a bit longer." 

"Or we could do something else." Dongju grinned playfully, laughing against Geonhak's lips as he pulled him again for a kiss.

\- ☆ - 

Dongju eventually worked up to leaving the bed, he showered and began getting ready for the day, Geonhak cleaned up their room and Dongju was amazed at how relaxed they both still felt. "I'll go get Dae from Seoho's." Dongju said when he finished the little bit of makeup he had put on. He'd sort of forgotten how much he loved how he looked in makeup, but he wanted to wear it again, maybe he could freelance some makeup for some of his connections so he could keep up his craft. Geonhak nodded, pulling him in for kiss. It was loving, it was warmth and it was everything that Dongju wanted, after all the time that they had been in pain, he couldn't believe how amazing everything was. He had a loving mate and a wonderful little boy. 

He went to Seoho's, glad that all the houses were connected, and that they could all just enter each other's place because he heard his sons laughter as soon as he entered. He walked in to see Seoho and Daekyu playing with the toys of his favourite tv show, they appeared to be on a mission to save Earth, with Seoho narrating the story for them both. Daekyu turned and grinned when he saw him. "Daddy!" Daekyu pushed himself up and ran over to Dongju, who just pulled him in for a tight hug. 

"I missed you baby." Dongju said as his son just hugged him gently. He put the boy back down and smiled, "can you put your toys in the bag for us?" Dongju watched his boy as he started to pack up the scene he'd been playing with with Seoho. "How was he?" 

"He was good. After you left, we just came back here after he picked out what he wanted to play with me. He was a bit clingy at first, he did that thing that he does to you two where he held onto my shirt for a bit when we watched a movie, but then he settled and just felt better." Seoho smiled, "and he went to sleep right away with his plush sea horse. I took some pictures of what we did so you could see." 

Seoho handed him the phone and Dongju scrolled through the photos, "He's just so cute." Dongju smiled at the pictures. "Have you sent any to Sungho?" 

"No. I wanted to ask if I could, he's your son, so I completely understand if you don't want me-" 

"I don't mind, you and Sungho seem like a really good match." Dongju wasn't sure if he should say it, but he did. "I think that you and him... I don't know why but I feel like he's your match. I don't feel like this is short term." 

"I hope it's not. Although I could do without Youngjo trying to fight him" 

"Oh... I heard about that." Dongju said with a small sigh, "He told Geonhak." he said, as if Seoho wouldn't know how Dongju had found out about it. "I like Sungho, and Dae felt safe enough with him to drive that car on his leg. He's still not really interacted with Yunho." 

"I think Sungho is naturally good with children." 

"You know... if you want to bring Sungho over sometimes you can. I like him and so does Geonhak." 

"And interrupt your literal love nest?" Seoho laughed a little, "although, I will say I can't deny how much I love feeling your families happiness in our pack bond."

"I can't believe how much he changed for us." Dongju said softly. "Loving him and being his dads, I knew I wanted to be a parent but this is just something else." Dongju looked at the boy. "Dae, you've missed your sea horse." He watched as the boy managed to grab it and then toddled over, holding the plush still. "Your dad missed you too and you deserve extra snuggles, you've been so good for Seoho. Maybe dad will even get us ice cream." 

He got the boy home and let him have his extended snuggle time with Geonhak, he loved how much the boy was settled with them and he could not help but adore the way that the boy came to them for comfort and also comforted them. Dongju knew that it was hard, that there were still difficulties. His son had spent almost two years without a parental bond, he had not know that safety and security existed in the world and he knew deep down that the speech difficulties in some way stemmed from that. His son had suffered in ways they did not understand - and he had read everything he could find on adoption trauma. 

They were sat on the sofa, cuddled in together while their son sat on the floor playing. "Are you going to take time off for our first speech appointment?" 

"I've already told Giwook that we have his appointment this week, so I'm not going to be in. His speech is more important."

\- ☆ - 

Dongju felt nervous, they had left their son with the therapist, watching him to work out what speech help was needed - the separation was because they knew he spoke to non-adults better, and the therapist wanted to find out why. Dongju cuddled close to Geonhak, he couldn't believe how happy they were together. "Do you think he's okay?" 

"I think he's probably doing wonderful." Geonhak smiled, kissing the top of Dongju's head. "He might not like it, but one day, when he's talking and not getting frustrated with us not understanding him, he will be so happy with us for helping him." 

"Imagine him talking." Dongju said smiling to himself. "I can't wait to hear him tell us things. Anything." 

They were called back into the office and Dongju immediately pulled the toddler onto his lap, the chid sat on him fidgeting and squirming a bit but settling down after a bit. "Your son struggles with words, which you already knew. However, there is a part of it that is him holding back his speech from you. I think he may have been punished for saying things wrong when he was not in your care and that has made him nervous to talk - but we will work with him on his confidence and you should encourage him to speak around your house." 

"Okay." Geonhak spoke. 

"Teaching him signs will also help him with words and with communication.

\- ☆ - 

Dongju smiled at Daekyu who had learnt some of the signs already and was currently signing for a snack. "Daddy!" 

"What do you want baby?" Dongju carried the boy into the kitchen. "Apple?" The boy nodded, "Can we use our words please Daekyu?" 

"Pel?" 

"Mhm, Apple Dae, you were so close." Dongju praised, they were following all the steps and doing the therapy with him. Dongju worried still, they weren't making very quick progress, Daekyu did not speak other than dad or daddy unless he was prompted. He set the boy on the counter and began cutting the apple up. "I love you Dae." 

"Daddy!" 

"Here you go baby." Dongju handed the boy the fruit, gently fixing his hair as the boy at slowly. He knew that just daddy meant I love you too, but Dongju would do anything to hear the boy actually say it to him. He just wanted them to be good enough for their son. He wished he knew what happened to him in care. He wanted to find anyone who made their little boy not feel like he was enough when he struggled to learn to speak. "Do you like it baby?" The boy signed for like. "Words, please Daekyu." Dongju tried not to sound frustrated as they were told they should not get frustrated with him, but it was hard.

\- ☆ - 

Dongju came back down after tucking their son to sleep. He pressed a kiss to Geonhak's lips and smiled when he was pulled down onto the sofa with him. This was how loving they'd been before all their fertility issues, Dongju loved it - he felt so loved and adored by Geonhak - and he was the same way. "You smell so good." Geonhak mumbled, pressing a kiss to the base of the man's neck. 

"I was thinking the same." Dongju mumbled, kissing him again. "I want another baby." 

"We've not had Daekyu for a year." 

"I know, but I want us to apply so we're informed if any of his siblings are born and put into the system. I don't want them to go through whatever made him feel nervous to speak to us. We just have so much love to give and Daekyu..." 

"I know, I know how much we love him and how much love we have, but I will put in for that, and in a few months when we're over a year with him, we can talk about another child with the adoption centre."

\- ☆ - 

Dongju sat back against the bath, the stomach flu was really starting to piss him off, the rest of his pack had only had it for a day or two. He took a slow breath, willing his nausea to go away. He knew Daekyu would need him soon, and he couldn't bear letting him down. His phone rang and he managed to grab it expecting it to be Geonhak who could feel something in the bond. He sighed answering. "Dongju, we need to talk, I have a day off work so I'm bringing Seri over." 

"Dongmyeong I'm really not feeling so great-" 

"It's you." Dongmyeong sounded relived. 

"What do you mean it's me?" 

"Are you pregnant Dongju?" 

"Hilarious Dongmyeong, I'm infertile." Dongju could feel the tears pricking his eyes already, he was already sick the last thing he needed was his twin reminding him about how he was never going to conceive. "Did you call me just to be an asshole?" 

"But you _could_ theoretically get pregnant?" 

"I mean technically yes. But the chance of it happening is so small they class me as infertile." Dongju sighed. 

"It's got to be you." 

"It's got to be me what?" 

"Dongju, you need to take a pregnancy test." 

"Dongmyeong this isn't funny." 

"I'm going to take one too. I'll pick some up today and take it before mom's party tomorrow." 

"I'll do it tomorrow." Dongju took a shallow breath. "I promised Geonhak we wouldn't do any more tests unless we had reason to believe that I was pregnant but if you really want me to." 

"Have you really had no symptoms?" 

"I have a stomach bug, so the symptoms are similar, I'm nauseous, I'm tired, it's not- I'm not." Dongju sighed. "If you're envisioning pregnancy and more babies it's you again." 

"I can't be pregnant Dongju." Dongmyeong sounded distressed. "I'm not ready for another child. Giwook and I use two types of protection to be extra sure. If they've both failed, I don't know what I'm going to do." 

"Neither of us are probably pregnant, I've got the stomach flu and you are suffering from stress dreams from our mom pressuring you into having another baby." Dongju smiled a little. "Like our little hanbok wearing family photoshoot wasn't enough of a hint." 

"Oh you got that did you?" 

"If I'm only going to have two grandchildren I have to make the most of it." Dongju impersonated his mom with a laugh, even though it hurt. 

"I hope neither of us are pregnant, I don't want to do that photo shoot again. Seri was such a pain to get in a hanbok. She hated it." Dongmyeong was relaxing. "Daekyu looked so cute in his hanbok - especially in that candid you took of Geonhak holding him." 

"Seri did too, she looks so much like you." Dongju took a breath, his stomach was settling but he still didn't feel good enough to move. He could still kinda hear his son playing, which he knew was safe. "Don't worry about the tests too much, we'll probably both get a negative. See you tomorrow, gotta go try to teach my lil monkey a few more signs."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find my twitter [here](https://twitter.com/KK_Moonbeam) if you wanna chat or anything~


	22. We Gotta Talk - Geonhak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, comments, kudos and hits are much appreciated and I reply to every comment, even if it's a bit late <3 
> 
> I got a bit carried away so double update~

Geonhak came back and saw Dongju on the sofa. Daekyu came running over and Geonhak scooped the boy up, giving him a tight hug. "I missed you." Geonhak grinned. "Baby can you go play trains, let me check on daddy." Geonhak put the boy down and went to Dongju on the sofa, gently stroking his hair. "Sweetness, you look tired." 

"I feel tired." Dongju mumbled. "You smell good." 

"If you don't sleep enough tonight, please let one of the pack have him for a few hours so you can catch up." Geonhak said gently. "I'm worried about you." Geonhak pressed a kiss to Dongju's cheek and decided to order food for them. He just wanted his partner happy and healthy, and he wondered if Dongju was putting too much pressure on himself. 

Dongju pushed the food around his plate and Geonhak just tried to keep the mood up, after dinner he went up and bathed Daekyu before bringing him down with a bag. Dongju just looked at him. "I'm taking him to Seoho's." 

"Sungho is over tonight." 

"I'll ask Keonhee." 

"I think Jo and Woong are fighting again so-" 

"Don't argue this with me Dongju, you're acting weird. He's going to his uncles, one of them will take him and if not I'll drive him over to Dongmyeong and Giwook's, and if they're somehow busy, I'll take him to my parents, or your parents." Geonhak very rarely stood his ground, and he was so close to using his alpha voice. "I don't know what's going on but you-" 

"Just take him to Seoho." Dongju huffed and Geonhak sighed, he hated fighting with Dongju, especially like this. 

Geonhak turned up at Seoho's and was pleasantly surprised to see Seoho and Sungho just cooking together. Seoho looked at him surprised. "Please can you take Dae for the night?" 

"Is something going on?" 

"I don't know Seoho - do you know anything?" 

"I know... nothing." 

"Great," Geonhak said, putting his son down, Sungho taking him to play. "You're both in this against me, _again_." 

"It's not my place to say." 

"Perfect Seoho. I trust you with my son and you know-" Geonhak was trying not to get too frustrated with Daekyu so close to him. "You are lucky everyone else in the pack is busy, cus I'd take him out of here - and if it was up to me, I'd-" 

"You'd what Geonhak? Stop me seeing your son? Because I won't tell you something Dongju told me?" Seoho shook his head. "Threatening me with withholding your son will not get me to talk, he's not a pawn in your arguments and miscommunications. Maybe Dongju has a reason for not mentioning what's going on?" 

"If I find out it's something you should have told me-" 

"What? What are you going to do?" 

"Squiggle." Sungho said reentering. "Geonhak, I think you should go back to your mate. This argument isn't going to solve anything. Dongju needs you." 

"Great, you know and you're not even pack." Geonhak said turning and leaving, he had to leave because he was too frustrated, being in the same place as his son wasn't fair to Daekyu. He couldn't go home because he was too frustrated and whatever was going on with Dongju had him already on the brink of tears. He was surprised when he turned up to the studio and saw Youngjo. 

"What are you doing?" Youngjo asked quietly. 

"Hiding from Dongju until I calm down enough not to go in and start a fight." 

"Hwanwoong wants us to all take a pack bond test - because I can't wait to be told I'm failing as a pack leader." Youngjo sighed. "He doesn't trust I love him. He always says he does but if he did, why would he be asking for our pack to do this?" 

"I know you don't want to hear this, but I think Dongju and I will agree to it. We would get to see how Daekyu is fitting in in the pack." 

Youngjo paused for a second. "I will arrange it." He gave Geonhak a smile. "I need to put aside my own problems and think of the pack. If this is something you and Dongju want, we will do it. What's going on with Dongju?" 

"He was lay on the sofa when I got home, and wouldn't eat dinner and just was acting weird, and I could feel him trying to block our bond, so I made the decision that Daekyu needed to spend the night with someone else, because clearly something is wrong, but of course you're fighting with Woong, Keonhee is probably cuddling Woong as we speak and Sungho was over with Seoho." 

"You left him with them? Sungho isn't pack." 

"Don't start that shit with me Youngjo. I'm not in the mood. Sungho is Seoho's partner." Geonhak was still so frustrated with everything. "And of course Dongju told Seoho whatever was fucking wrong but of course Seoho won't tell me, because why would anyone tell the mate of the person who's acting weird? No, that would be too fucking easy." 

"Hak, Dongju - all I know is he dropped Dae with Woong earlier today and was kinda freaking out." 

"So everyone but me knew!?" 

"No, he told Woong that he'd just had a call with his brother and he needed a minute. He'd been crying, Woong thinks he took a pregnancy test again and it was negative." Youngjo bit his lip. "I only didn't tell you because I assumed he would." 

"Our pack had stomach flu recently, he could have mistaken that... he had it for slightly longer than the rest of us." Geonhak sighed, "but we promised each other no more tests." Geonhak looked back at Youngjo, "do you want to talk about Hwanwoong?" 

"Not as much as you feel you need to go back to Dongju." 

Geonhak came home to all the lights being off, he found Dongju already in bed, although he knew he wasn't asleep. Geonhak got into the bed and wrapped an arm around Dongju. "I don't know what's going on Dongju, but we're a team." Geonhak said softly. 

"Please." Dongju said quietly. "I'll tell you soon." 

"Please don't shut me out." Geonhak said wrapping his arms around the man, pressing a kiss to the back of Dongju's shoulder. "This was how it started before." 

Dongju rested a hand on his arm. "It's not happening again." 

"We have Daekyu, it cannot happen again." Geonhak took a slow breath. "We were so happy, I just don't know where this has come from. I just want to understand." Geonhak held him close. "I can't help if you don't tell me what's going on."

\- ☆ - 

Geonhak was playing with Daekyu, waiting for Dongju to be ready. They were going back to Dongju's parents for a pack celebration so all the grandchildren would be there. It was the first time people in the pack would meet Daekyu that weren't Dongju's parents and they were a bit nervous, the boys birthday party had been really small but this was going to be significantly bigger. Geonhak looked up when he heard his name. He picked up the two year old. "Lets go see what makeup emergency your daddy is having." He said. He went into the bathroom and saw Dongju sat on the edge of the bath, not even close to being ready.

"I think you should put Daekyu down." Geonhak followed the instruction and watched his mate carefully. The little boy toddled back into the bedroom with his toys. Geonhak wished he could see him but also was worried about Dongju. 

"Are you okay?" 

"Geonhak." Dongju breathed, handing the other a pregnancy test. 

"We haven't taken one since-- oh." He stopped it was positive. They were pregnant.

"I've taken three. They're all clear positives." Dongju said quietly. Geonhak felt overwhelmed, his mate was pregnant. He held his partner for a bit, pressing a kiss to his lips. Dongju bit his lip when they pulled back. "We've not had Daekyu a full year, they told us not to change the family."

"Daekyu is fully bonded to us. Whatever feelings he has about a sibling we can work through. He's very good with Seri, and other kids. It's going to be fine. You're pregnant." Geonhak couldn't believe what he was saying. "We're Pregnant." 

"We are." Dongju said softly. "I had thought we never would. I thought we couldn't." 

"But we have, another baby will be in our family soon." Geonhak shifted holding him close. 

"I shouldn't be pregnant" Dongju moved to push out of the hug and stand back from Geonhak, pacing in the bathroom, Geonhak just watched him trying work out what was going wrong. "I'm not supposed to be. I _can't_ get pregnant." 

"Dongju, the doctor didn't said you couldn't, he just said you don't produce regularly enough for us to conceive. He said it was very unlikely, not that it was impossible." 

"He said we'd never get pregnant." 

"He said we probably would never get pregnant. Dongju, this is a miracle for us." Geonhak hated himself for what he was about to ask, "do you not want them?" Geonhak said softly. "I would support you if you wanted to-" 

"No." Dongju stopped his pace and glared. "I am not planning on that. I just shouldn't even be pregnant and we have Daekyu and we told our families that we were unable to have kids and oh god it's going to change the way people look at Daekyu." 

"Dongju, you need to slow down." Geonhak moved so he could hold the man still. "You're pregnant because it was meant to happen, Daekyu is going to be okay, no one is _ever_ going to look at our son any different because we are having a biological child. We always wanted a big family, and Daekyu is going to be a great big brother." Geonhak sighed, the toddler came into the room holding a toy car. 

"take?" 

"Yes Dae you can bring that car." Geonhak said moving to pick up the boy. "Your daddy is just finishing up getting ready." Geonhak held the boy who was now driving the car on Geonhak's shoulder, not paying attention to them. "If you don't want to go Sunflower, I can call your brother or your parents and just tell him he's not feeling good." 

"Dongmyeong knows I was going to take a test." Dongju said and Geonhak nodded, he wasn't surprised to know that fact. "I thought he was the one..." Dongju eyed their son who was still just playing by himself. "If we don't go he's going to know what our result was." 

"Or he'll think it was like before." 

"He's also taking a test just to prove a point." Dongju sighed, "he's going to know if we don't go." 

"He's going to know if we do go Dongju, you are reacting like something awful is happening. I'm so confused." Geonhak said softly. 

"This is an adult conversation." Dongju shut him down and Geonhak just nodded, he knew Dongju would not entertain this conversation any further. "We're going to the party, I can't wait to show Daekyu his extended family. He deserves that." Dongju said shifting to take the little boy, and Geonhak watched the two of them sharing a hug. "Dae wanna help daddy pick out his makeup?" Dongju asked, getting the boy excited and going to look at his makeup. Daekyu sat on the counter, driving his car on the surface, occasionally helping Dongju pick colours or sparkles or whatever it was that he was adding to the look. It was part of how they encouraged him to talk more, by letting him make choices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find my twitter [here](https://twitter.com/KK_Moonbeam) if you wanna chat or anything~


	23. Shock wave - Dongju

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, comments, kudos and hits are much appreciated and I reply to every comment, even if it's a bit late <3

The atmosphere in the car was tense. Dongju sat looking out of the window, he was pregnant. He didn't even know how - well he knew how, he'd been having unprotected sex for years with Geonhak. Daekyu was in the back seat and was fussier than normal in the car and Dongju knew it was probably the effect of the tension between him and Geonhak. "Hak." Dongju spoke softly. "You need to let it go, Dae needs us to be calm." 

"You want me to drop it because it benefits you." Geonhak said, eyes still on the road. "Dae is-" 

"Dad" Daekyu sounded tearful. Geonhak pulled over and got out, he unfastened Daekyu and held him close. Dongju watched his mate trying to soothe their child, Geonhak came back to the car and put the little boy back in his car seat. 

"C'mon Dae, let's cheer up." Dongju tried to encourage, "Your Uncle Myeong is going to be there with Seri - you love playing with her." 

"No." Daekyu huffed, throwing his car on the floor. 

"Kim Daekyu." Geonhak said firmly. "Behave." The atmosphere remained tense and Dongju could feel his son's discomfort, their son was clearly being affected by their bond and Dongju felt guilty. They arrived and Geonhak didn't speak to him, he just wordlessly got Daekyu out of the car and carried him in. Daekyu was holding on tight to Geonhak, his tantrum appeared to be subsiding a little bit, he seemed to just be calming down. They stood at the door and Geonhak was frustrated. 

"Can you just pretend like you want to be here?" Dongju said quietly. "My parents are going to know something is up and I don't want to tell people-" 

"I don't know why you told me at this point Dongju." Geonhak sighed. "I don't understand what's going on, I don't understand you." 

"Hak, we have a family function, now is not the time to do this." Dongju shifted, he was nervous, they went in and he could feel his son's discomfort spike again. There were a lot of people here, most of them he had not met. Dongmyeong came over, he was dressed up - he instantly moved as if to take Daekyu. "How's my favourite nephew?" Dongmyeong stopped when he realised how the boy was on Geonhak, he instead placed a gentle hand on the boys back. "Is he feeling okay?" 

"It's just overwhelming for him here." Dongju said looking at his son, Geonhak's hold on the boy looked so protective and secure - he couldn't imagine their son could ever feel less than safe when his dad was here. "So many people he's never met and he's pretty shy anyway." 

"Seri and Giwook are in another room, if you want to bring him there, we can see if that helps him." Dongmyeong said and Dongju nodded, all of them following Dongmyeong to the room that used to be the twins. "Seri and Dae are quite a bit younger than the rest of our packmates kids so we brought her here so she could just play and be safe, and also so Giwook could hide and leave me to deal with the _why don't you have more kids, you know it's always good to have siblings_ comments." Dongju could feel the tension between them as well. 

"Really Dongmyeong?" Giwook sighed, "you can handle yourself with those comments. They can always babysit Seri and then see if the world needs more babies from us." Dongju wasn't entirely sure both of children should be around this tension. 

"We should go greet our parents, maybe my refusal to quit my job might take some of the heat off Hyungu, he's here with Yonghoon and Harin." Dongmyeong bit his lip. "Although, he's not told anyone he's dating both of them - he's just with his husband and Harin is here too. But I can't see them all getting through the night without showing Harin affection." Dongmyeong shrugged, pulling Dongju out of the room. As soon as the door was shut behind them. "Are you pregnant?" 

"You know I'm medically infertile you asshole." 

"Not an answer." 

"I got three positives." Dongju said as they walked further. Dongmyeong stopped him and gave him a tight hug. 

"I'm happy for you. I know how much you've always wanted to be pregnant." Dongmyeong paused. "But if you're pregnant what's wrong with Geonhak? Does he not want the baby? I'll kill him with my bare hands if-" 

"No, no, you know Geonhak, he was excited when I showed him the test." 

"Do you not want-" 

"Of course I want them." Dongju made a frustrated sound, "why does everyone keep asking that." 

"You don't seem very happy to be pregnant Dongju." 

"Happier than you were to get knocked up by a stranger." 

"I'm going to ignore that because obviously something is wrong. Ju, is there something going on?" 

"I just can't believe that I'm pregnant. I was told I'd never get pregnant. I have Daekyu, I have a family and I _love_ my family. I love them, the baby, but I've done all the therapy and work after I got my infertility diagnosis. I worked through all of that and now I'm pregnant. I just feel like it's not... real." He could feel the tears stinging his eyes, he couldn't believe he said that out loud. 

"Dongju." Dongmyeong said softly, and pulled him into a hug. "You need to tell Geonhak about this, I could feel his stress." 

"I know. But how do you tell the man you love that you feel like you don't deserve this." Dongju sighed, he was unable to even imagine what he would look like as their baby grew. "I don't deserve this and Daekyu needs us to keep our house stable for a year after the adoption, but that's not going to happen and when Dae has his one year review they'll find out I'm pregnant and we could lose him-" 

"You're not going to lose your son for getting pregnant Ju." 

"If it destabilises our bond-" 

"Your bond is so tense and your little boy is still in it, he's fully bonded to you, change won't affect your stability." 

"Speaking of tense, you and Giwook?" 

"He was a little disappointed that I'm not the pregnant twin." Dongmyeong shrugged, "and then upset because I told him that I've had my turn being the pregnant twin and it's not going to happen again." 

"Myeong." 

"I had an awful pregnancy with Seri." Dongju knew his twin had never wanted to get pregnant in the first place, but this fear was more than that. "It was awful, and I struggled to recover after she was born and I honestly can't do it again." 

"It might be different with your true mate." 

"You know it doesn't work like that." Dongmyeong sighed, "I knew you would side with Giwook on this. So whatever Dongju, I don't want to talk about it anymore." Dongju knew when his brother was shutting everyone out, when he felt like the only way to protect himself was to fake being so tough that he couldn't be touched. "I'm not going to change my mind for at least a while." 

"Okay, and it's your right to. It's your body." 

"Don't fake a side switch. I'm sure Giwook would love to know that even other omega's see his point." Dongmyeong was becoming angry to hide his hurt. "I mean I get it, I got pregnant accidentally with another man so I should just let my alpha make me swell with his seed." 

"Okay that's gross and if you ever say that in relation to Geonhak and I, I will make sure I'm sick on you." Dongju sighed, "No one thinks like that, Seri is Giwook's and you know it. Giwook didn't want you to be pregnant again for that reason, he just wants to expand your family, he loves you and Seri and wants her to have a sibling to grow up with." 

"He should talk to Hyungu about packmates if that's the reason." 

"Please, Hyungu - how would that even work with Harin and Yonghoon?" 

"Hyungu has thought of ways." Dongmyeong sighed, "I was so scared I was pregnant again. We had a pregnancy scare around Seri's birthday and I had already, I was trying to plan what to do to keep him from finding out until I knew how I was going to handle it but I wasn't. But if I had been I don't know how we'd have coped. How I would have coped." Dongju hadn't realised how scared his brother was of this. He moved to give his brother a hug. 

"You should have told me you were scared you were pregnant." 

"You had adoption stuff." 

"You're my twin."

\- ☆ - 

When they got home Geonhak took Daekyu, who had fallen asleep in the car up to his room. Dongju had gone into the bathroom to clear up his makeup, although he found the three tests and stopped, staring at them. It was real, he was pregnant. He jumped when he felt Geonhak in the doorway. "Dae didn't even stir when I put him down." Geonhak said with a shrug. 

"He missed his nap so he was probably extra tired." Dongju said, putting the tests on the counter. 

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" Geonhak asked softly. "I just want you to be happy and right now I just need you to tell me why you aren't happy." 

"It's not as simple as not happy." 

"Emotions never are Dongju." Geonhak stepped closer and gave him a soft kiss. Dongju was surprised that he wasn't angry with him. "If I go down and make us both a hot chocolate, you can prepare yourself, and when you're ready, come down and we can talk about it, talk about what you feel." 

Geonhak was sat when Dongju collected himself enough to go down. Dongju sat down on the sofa but didn't take the drink, Geonhak put his drink down and moved to look at Dongju. He reached to take Dongju's hand, something they'd started doing when they needed to talk about serious things that they were scared to discuss, it was something Hyewon had suggested in therapy, a physical reminder for them that they were in this together. "Can you hold me?" Dongju said quietly. Geonhak just moved easily to pull Dongju to sit on his lap, arms wrapped around him. Dongju felt safe, sat across Geonhak, resting his head against Geonhak's shoulder. Geonhak adjusted Dongju's legs so they were both more comfortable. "You smell so good." He mumbled. 

"That's the baby speaking." Geonhak laughed. "It makes sense why your scent has been so... much more recently. It's been calling me to protect you and them." 

"I love you." Dongju said quietly, and he tried his best not to tense when Geonhak but his hand on his abdomen.

"Do you not want me to touch?" He asked softly. 

"No, you're their dad." Dongju said quietly. "I want you to know before I explain everything, I do want our baby. We've been trying for so long. Our little sea monkey." Dongju blushed at his words, why did not think of a cooler name for his baby. 

"Sea monkey?" 

"They're probably like the size of one now, and my brother took jellybean." Dongju shifted slightly. "I know it's stupid as we haven't had the dating scan, but I feel like they were conceived the night you won the award, that night... I just felt so loved and everything felt perfect." 

"I hope they were conceived then, it would be nice to think our love overcame the odds of this happening." 

Dongju nodded. "That's... part of it." Dongju said quietly. "I had accepted that we would never get this." He could already feel his emotions building up. "Okay, I'm just going to say it. I just love you and Daekyu and I love our family and I am so happy to have even that much. I'd stopped thinking about having a baby naturally. I have my cute little boy who makes me so proud every single day and now I'm pregnant. I thought I'd feel happy when I got the positive result. I felt a lot of emotions and they were all just scary." Dongju was already crying and Geonhak was gently wiping his tears. "We were told not to change the family and if it destabalises our bond they could take Daekyu off us. I can't bear the thought that he'd think his place in our family was reliant on us not being able to have biological kids, and I am just scared they'll take him off us." 

"Dongju, no one is taking our son. I promise you. No one is ever going to take him from us. I don't care who I have to fight, I will never let him go, we promised him forever, and we will give him forever." Geonhak said warmly, giving Dongju a slow kiss. 

"I don't deserve this baby. I am infertile and I took you from other omegas, even though I couldn't-" 

"Stop." Geonhak said slowly. " _We_ struggle with infertility. _We_ have an infertility diagnosis." 

"What if there is danger for our baby because I'm infertile?" 

"They said structurally you were normal, it was just the eggs that you didn't have many of, and some were not viable. But when we have our first scan, we can mention it, and they can look to make sure you're okay." Geonhak knew what to do and Dongju felt safe in his arms like this. He burst into tears and sobbed into the man, holding him close. Geonhak held him tightly, keeping him safe, keeping him protected from the world, from the future that had him so scared. "I have you Dongju, I'm going to look after you, Dae and sea monkey. Any of your fears, we can work through together." Geonhak just held him as the crying stopped, gently rubbing his back. "I'm going to arrange to see Hyewon, I think we need her to help us talk through this. We did all the work to accept our diagnosis and now we've managed something we thought was impossible. I think it's natural your feelings might contradict." 

"Our baby is so lucky to have you as a dad."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find my twitter [here](https://twitter.com/KK_Moonbeam) if you wanna chat or anything~


	24. One For... - Geonhak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, comments, kudos and hits are much appreciated and I reply to every comment, even if it's a bit late <3

It was a strange feeling, waking up next to Dongju, knowing the omega was pregnant. Knowing that all of their wishes had been granted. He was disturbed from his sleep by Dongju getting back into the bed. "You okay Sunflower?" Geonhak mumbled. Dongju nodded, "has the nausea passed?" Dongju shook his head. "Did you get water?" Dongju nodded. Geonhak shifted in the bed to move to hold Dongju, surrounding him with his scent. 

"This feels better." Dongju said quietly. Geonhak kissed the top of the man's head. "Our little one is just growing." He took a levelling breath. "It's not as bad as Dongmyeong's so I can't really complain." 

"You can." Geonhak said with a smile. "Complain all you want." 

"Can you skip work?" 

"Dongju." 

"Giwook did-"

"Yeah because Dongmyeong could barely get off their bathroom floor." Geonhak sighed. "I know me leaving is hard for you - it's hard for me too, but we have to keep functioning. Mates normally only struggle in the last trimester." 

"It helps with the nausea." 

"I know, but I need to go write songs Sunflower." Geonhak got out of the bed and went to shower, coming back to see Dongju curled up, asleep again, holding a jumper of Geonhak's. The man got ready, going to press a kiss to Dongju's forehead and then a soft one over his stomach, the man didn't stir. Geonhak went into his sons room and saw the other sleeping. He woke the boy gently, and got him ready for the day. "After breakfast do you want to go to Uncle Youngjo's?" 

The boy nodded, and Geonhak grinned. "Daddy?" 

"Oh you can feel daddy in the bond?" Geonhak said sitting down and feeding the boy. "Well your daddy is just feeling a bit sick today, and it just means he needs to sleep just a little longer." Daekyu did his sign for hurt. "mhm, your daddy's tummy hurts Dae, but he's going to be okay. Daddy will get you from Uncle Youngjo's as soon as he can." 

Geonhak packed up the boys things and carried the boy over to Youngjo's. The pack leader instantly taking the boy into his arms and giving the child a hug. "How long do you want us to have him?" 

"Until Dongju's feeling better, his morning sickness is bad today but when he feels okay enough, he'll come get him. But I don't want him to push himself too hard. He's stressed enough as it is." 

"Those bond results should be soon, I was told it only takes a week maybe two for the results." 

"It's been more than that, but I need them, I need to settle him. We have our dating scan at what Dongju thinks is 12 weeks of his pregnancy, but who knows, we'll find out when we see them. If I can have the bond results by then it would be great. We need to start preparing him for his sibling." 

"But you aren't telling him until you get the results?" 

"No, Dongju is too scared, he won't let me and I love him too much to just do it." Geonhak sighed, "I just need to go to work and he's just trying to get me to stay home because he feels really meh and he's stressed and our bond has us on high alert. I'm going, text me if either of them need me."

\- ☆ - 

Giwook looked at him as he sat down, he was late and Giwook just gave him a knowing look. "Dongju doing okay?" 

"Yeah, he woke me up after his nausea, which is fine. I scented him and he felt better." 

"That always helped Dongmyeong too, buy rusks, it really helped Dongmyeong, some days it was the only thing he could keep down." Giwook offered a small smile. "You're doing good though, he's not complained about you to Dongmyeong." Giwook teased. 

"It was hard to leave him, curled up in our bed - he had one of my jumpers in his arms and was on my side of the bed, clearly him and our little one needed dad." 

"I think Dongmyeong used to do that too, your scent really does help, and Dongju has always been sensitive to your influence." 

"He's so worried about Daekyu that it's causing our bond into over-drive. I find it hard to come to work. Leaving him feeling unwell hurts me." 

"I used to feel awful when I left Dongmyeong when his morning sickness was bad." Giwook gave him a small look, "you just need to tell yourself that when you get home, you're going to look after him, to spoil him, that no matter how you left him, he's going to pick himself up because he's Son Dongju, probably put some makeup on and when you get home, you can look after him until he gets sick of it." 

"My mate isn't likely to ever get sick of it." Geonhak laughed. "Oh! Daekyu did the cutest thing, I told him he was going to spend some time with Youngjo, and he asked me about his daddy, and did the sign he knows for hurt and I almost died. He just is such a caring little boy." 

"Meanwhile Seri told me she loved Yonghoon more than me." Giwook laughed. "Well I said, I love you Seri. and she said Hoony - so I said, yes we love your uncle Hoony too. and then she said more! and I was like..... sure, we love him.... more." 

"She's got Dongmyeong's sass then." 

"I can't even complain, he's my mate and I love him, but yeah she's a bit too much like him sometimes." He grinned.

\- ☆ - 

"I know the first scan is exciting, especially for first time parents." The sonographer gave them a smile, clearly misinterpreting Dongju's mood as excitement rather than the nerves he was feeling. Geonhak was still unsure of it they were to do with the scan or Daekyu. Dongju didn't say anything, he just followed her instructions sitting down and answering her questions about his symptoms. Geonhak sat down, Daekyu on his lap - although the child clearly wanted to get down and probably play. Geonhak was a little annoyed that Dongju had forced his hand to bring their son here, when this was something they should have done away from the child. 

"We have an infertility diagnosis." Geonhak spoke, "they said it was not structural but rather there is a lack of eggs and we were just worried about the safety of this baby." Dongju looked relieved that it was Geonhak who had mentioned it. He sat Daekyu on the floor and handed him a space ranger toy, hoping it kept him occupied. 

"I know your first baby can be really nerve-wrecking so I'll make sure they're nicely situated, but the doctors have had your file and they haven't highlighted any high risk factors of your pregnancy. Other than you being a male omega, who had the body shape you have, your hips aren't very wide, so you will probably be looking at a planned c-section." 

"My brother had one so I am prepared to have one." Dongju said, they'd always sort of known that intervention was going to be the safest way - whenever they'd discussed having children. The scan started and Dongju took Geonhak's hand, eyes on the sonographer as she set up. 

"Oh-" She said looking at the screen. Dongju's grip tightened on Geonhak's hand, Geonhak squeezed back, oh could mean anything. The sonographer turned the screen so they could see. "Congratulations you're expecting twins." Geonhak pressed a kiss to the back of Dongju's hand, the sonographer went over the scan, telling them the expected due date - the c-section would be scheduled for before that date and Dongju answered her questions. Geonhak knew it was better to gauge Dongju's reaction first, as he was handed the scan and looked at it. "Because you're carrying more than one, your pregnancy risk has gone up to high risk, so we will be needing to see you more Mr Son." 

"Yeah." Dongju kept his eyes on the scan, looking at the twins. 

"It's your first baby and we understand, so if you need any extra support we have some-" 

"I have a son already." Dongju finally answered back, Geonhak had seen this building the whole time. "He's in this room, so I would appreciate it if you didn't speak like he didn't exist." 

"Dongju." Geonhak said gently, Dongju just put the scan away and moved to pick up his son. "Thank you." Geonhak managed to say as they left, he knew Dongju was freaking out - but he wasn't sure he could pull this one back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find my twitter [here](https://twitter.com/KK_Moonbeam) if you wanna chat or anything~


	25. Shockwaves - Dongju

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, comments, kudos and hits are much appreciated and I reply to every comment, even if it's a bit late <3

"I need to speak to Dongmyeong." Dongju said when they got in the car, he was still struggling to process it and Daekyu could play with Seri while he tried to work everything out. "I need my twin." 

"Okay." Geonhak said softly. "Do you want us with you?" Dongju recognised Geonhak's tone of voice, he was worried and was trying to work out the best course of action was. 

"Daekyu can play with Seri." Dongju said quietly. "I just... we need-" 

"I know Sunflower, it's a lot." Geonhak said as he started the car, putting the music on because he just apparently knew what Dongju needed. Dongju had his hand over his still flat abdomen, his twins. Geonhak was clearly just holding it together for him and Daekyu, but it must have been a shock for him too. 

Dongmyeong apparently knew they were coming because he was ready for them. "Seri and Giwook are playing upstairs." Dongmyeong took Dongju's hand and pulled him into the kitchen pouring them both a drink. "What's wrong?" 

"Myeong-" Dongju said before just taking the scan out and pushing it across the counter. Dongmyeong took the scan and looked at it.

"Dongju-" 

"I know." 

"Twins." 

"I know." 

"Are you okay?" 

"How can it be possible? I was told I'd probably never conceive." Dongju only realised he was shaking when Dongmyeong moved him to sit down at the breakfast bar. "I was told I'd never conceive." 

"I know." Dongmyeong said softly. "Are you okay? Do you want-" 

"Of course I want them." Dongju said hand was back over himself, protecting the twins. Dongmyeong just nodded. 

"Okay, that's fine I was just checking. I had to check because you're kinda freaking out." 

"How am I supposed to have twins?" 

"Dongju, you are going to be alright." Dongmyeong said although Dongju knew that his twin had such a rough pregnancy that he was still uncertain about if Seri was going to have any siblings. "What did Geonhak say?" 

"Nothing." Dongju said quietly. "Not about them being _them_."

"Are they like us?" 

"Mhm, fraternal twins." He confirmed, biting his own pointer finger, his own nervous tell. Dongmyeong kept his eyes on him. "We haven't told Daekyu that he's having siblings." 

"You can tell him at any time. He's two Dongju." 

"We've had him less than a year, we're not supposed to change the household for at least a year." Dongju felt overwhelmed by everything. "What if we screw him up?" 

"You aren't going to screw your son up Dongju, he's so attached to you two and your bond with him is so strong he won't feel uncertain in it despite you being pregnant." Dongmyeong looked at Dongju, "He's not even three Dongju, he doesn't know he's adopted, he just knows you're his dads and he loves you and he knows you love him. Please don't worry about Daekyu, if he's mad about having a sibling it's just how some kids are, but Daekyu loves spending time with other kids. You need to stop worrying about him. He has two wonderful dads, you just need to calm down about the twins." Dongmyeong said softly. Looking over when Giwook entered grabbing two of the cups for the kids and making the juice for them. Dongju couldn't help but smile when Giwook came over to give Dongmyeong a kiss. "If Seri is hungry we have some oranges." 

"I don't think she's even noticed she gets a snack around this time normally." Giwook laughed, going in to give Dongmyeong another kiss - and this was something that filled Dongju with happiness, knowing his twin was getting looked after and was happy with Giwook after all the years that they struggled to find that happiness. Giwook gave Dongju a small smile. "I hope you're okay." He said softly before he went back out to give the drinks to the kids. 

"I never thought I'd see you two _that_ in love." Dongju said, managing a genuine smile. 

"He's amazing." Dongmyeong said, he looked relaxed, the bond was clearly making his life easier, more comforting. "He's also so good with Seri, I honestly could not do this without him." 

"Do you think he still wants another baby with you?" Dongju said softly 

"We're supposed to be talking about your twins. Your little ones are lucky to have dads like you and Geonhak - and you should tell him that you feel overwhelmed about the twins and I'm sure he feels the same, it must be a shock to find out, since you fell pregnant this is the first real time you two have been separate, he is feeling protective of you." Dongmyeong smiled, "and of course you are having twins and having a better pregnancy than I did." Dongmyeong teased. 

"Seri wasn't-" 

"Ask Giwook, it was literally awful, I was pretty sure she was trying to kill me. I lost weight in my first and part of my second trimester. I still had sickness even through to her birth and Giwook had to deal with it." 

"Is that why you're-" 

"We have a one year old." Dongmyeong said with a shrug. "Seri keeps us busy and Giwook has never actually asked me about more children, well not in as many words." 

"Dongmyeong, you know he would love more kids with you." 

"Not everyone grew up wanting to have four kids." Dongmyeong looked at his hands, "I know he wants more kids deep down but I can't... and I know you're having twins but I'm still not ready for a sibling for my daughter."

\- ☆ - 

They didn't talk about it until Daekyu went down for his nap. Dongju knew they would have to tell people it was twins but until he had spoken to Geonhak, no one other than Dongmyeong was to know, not even their pack or parents. "Geonhak." He spoke quietly. "You've not said anything since the scan." 

"I've said plenty Dongju." Geonhak said looking at the other, "You got so overwhelmed we went to see your brother so I don't know what you wanted me to say." 

"What do you think?" 

"I think that we were told you wouldn't conceive naturally and now not only are you pregnant without the assistance of modern medicine you're also pregnant with twins. I am worried about you, you seem overwhelmed about it all and your twin had a hard pregnancy. I am just worried about _you_. I'm not worried about them and the future, I know we're gonna be great dads again." 

"You think we can handle twins?" 

"If your parents could handle you and Dongmyeong, I'm sure we can do it." Geonhak teased, "I think we can do it Sunflower, I know it will be difficult and we already have a child but people do it all the time." 

"What if Daekyu reacts badly?" 

"If he does, he has months to get used to the idea and plenty of kids don't want siblings. He is fully bonded to both of us, and we might read him kids books about adopted kids as well as all the usual books people buy but he doesn't understand that he's adopted yet. Daekyu is going to be okay, and we're going to help him if he's anxious or stressed about it. We are his parents and we're going to do whatever we can to keep him happy and involved in his brothers or sister's arrival. If we get him involved and excited he won't feel like we're abandoning him - because we never would." Geonhak wrapped his arms around Dongju. "Today is a happy day, we heard our babies heartbeats and they were strong and healthy. Our little boy is going to have siblings, and today was a day we thought we'd never get." Geonhak held Dongju close, gently rubbing his back and letting him finally cry, he'd been holding back all day. He'd been stunned at the scan and he couldn't even process their heartbeats. "And soon we'll have the results back of the test, and you'll see it in writing that our baby is completely bonded with us." 

"We need to talk to the doctors. I hate them calling the twins my first baby." Dongju said when he calmed down a little.

"They are your first pregnancy." 

"Geonhak." Dongju huffed, still keeping his face against the other. "The twins are not our first child... They are going to have a big brother. I hate all the new parents stuff they keep saying like I know I didn't give birth to Daekyu but he's still my first baby." 

"I know." Geonhak said gently, "I'll talk to someone and see if we can get them to change how they talk about the twins."

"Daekyu might still be behind on speech but he understands and I don't want him around that." Dongju felt Geonhak's arms tighten around him. "I know I'm probably over-reacting but I just want to protect all of our children." 

"I know Sunflower." Geonhak said softly, "I do too, I also want to protect Dae, I just can't wait for him to be a big brother - I just feel like he's going to be an amazing big brother, he's such a good older cousin to Seri." 

"We should tell Dae that he's getting two little brothers or sisters." 

"Whenever you're ready." Geonhak pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. "I think we need to process the twins first. You're overwhelmed by it all. I need you to tell me what you need." Dongju shifted to cuddle his mate, Geonhak's scent calmed him. Geonhak's hand moved to rest over where the twins were. 

"I'm going to start showing earlier." Dongju mumbled. "It still feels like we got it wrong. That it is not real." 

"Dongju, you deserve this. You deserve our twins. Our love beat the odds of our diagnosis." 

"I want this. It's just so much"

"Do you need me to get Seoho?" Dongju looked at Geonhak, he knew that question would go against his instinct for the twins. Another alpha in their house where his child and pregnant mate were. Geonhak was putting Dongju's possible wants over his instincts. 

"I'll tell him about the twins tomorrow." Dongju said softly, shifting to kiss him. "I want my mate. Just you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find my twitter [here](https://twitter.com/KK_Moonbeam) if you wanna chat or anything~


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